Twitter

End Kiwifarms Now

A few weeks back I was locked out of my Twitter account for suicidal ideation. I suspected this was the work of nazi incels who’d been monitoring my every move on social media and the resulting misery was compounded by the sense Twitter was using its safety guidelines to further victimise targets of far right extremists. It was happily enabling them, but to be fair, it always has.

Chloe Sagal, a young trans woman from Portland Oregon was hounded by the same people who doxed me. She had been stalked mercilessly, her life scrutinised and twisted beyond the pale, just like mine. Described as ‘brilliant but tortured’ by her friends she was an activist, a force for change but sadly the real life demons that haunted her succeeded in their campaign to kill her spirit and end her life. She wrote in her suicide note:

“My death cannot be silent. It has to be loud and political. My entire life, my experience, my education has led up to this moment. I can only expect trauma and death from my existence.”

This resonates. What must it take to feel so isolated, so alone and battered by the tide of unending misery the only solution is a violent death? It’s a thought that often keeps me awake. Yet even in the depths of my own despair I cannot fathom the level of anguish and sheer numbness that would lead me to self immolation.

Kiwifarms get off on the suffering of others. They target the people no one else cares about and that’s why they’ve been around since 2014, the year I had my first run in with them, and as it turns out Chloe did too. 4 years of nazi incels being allowed to network and organise, connecting fascists from the Americas to Australia. I reported them to the police in 2014 and regretted it. The cops didn’t care, they said I should log off and warned me for using a feminist slogan. How will they now answer for the murders and suicides committed by the same fascist rapists targeting me and Chloe and about another 1500 individuals, selected for their vulnerability to mental illness?

How many people need to die for these sadistic sons of bitches to be brought to heel? It was barely a week ago we heard about Rizzydraws, a stranger from Indonesia who was outed as gay by KF to the homophobic Indonesian authorities which led to him taking his own life. Kiwifarms were gleefully celebrating this all over Twitter. They blamed others for Rizzydraws suicide. Similarly in the wake of Chloe’s passing, kiwifarms were on Twitter apportioning blame to other trans women. It’s another one of their tactics, to pour salt into the wounds of grieving friends of their victims, like the sadistic savages they are. Julie Terryberry was just 18 and they cheered her death without a single paranoid thought that someone might take serious issue with it and come for them. They have acted with impunity and they’ve been allowed to. We tried to tell the authorities, we were victimised again. In those moments the cops and kiwifarms were on the same side.

They can’t afford to ignore it anymore, the death toll is rising. If only Chloe hadn’t felt so isolated, so alone and unheard she felt her most valid contribution would come from her dying. I wish I didn’t feel the same way.

Update: I’ve been informed Rizzy has recovered from their suicide attempt. Sending best wishes, sorry you were ever in that position.

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Holding Nazi Collaborators to Account

As you know, Nazis have made several attempts to dox me these past few weeks. They have included my personal information, forcing me to come out with my real name and when that didn’t provoke the response they wanted, they went after my family, many of whom don’t even have social media. They’re currently in control of a comrade’s Twitter account, that they’ve hacked, which I’ve reported and blocked. This is all in an attempt to silence and isolate me.

Kiwifarms has so far been implicated in at least two murders. ‘Joshua Moon’ the administrator denies any involvement but it was partly his rants threatening mass murder that inspired William Atchison to murder two people before turning the gun on himself, just as police stormed the building. It is with this in mind that I emailed the company hosting the site @versaweb to report abuse. It was a Saturday so I figured I would wait until the end of the next working day before I raised concerns regarding their inaction. On May 26th I tweeted them, inquiring why they had not acknowledged my email and encouraged my followers to do the same but despite this, they remained silent. Throughout the course of this past week they have ignored various attempts to engage them, but yesterday, Thursday 31st May I noticed they had a picture of their accounts assistant. Finally, a human face. Someone real to hold accountable.

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I clicked on the website link in their Twitter bio and found more faces.

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I was offline for a short while but when I went to access Twitter via my phone I was suddenly prompted for my password. Now if I didn’t have a healthy distrust for Twitter and the way they enable nazis and their numerous attempts to fish for my identifying information every time I’m locked out, I might have inputted it. Luckily I was so put out by this I scanned the screen for more information, some clue as to why they’d had the audacity to spring this on me and I noticed an ‘ignore’ option in the corner. It took me straight through to my Twitter account. Alarms bells blaring I asked my followers what it meant when this happened and was advised that it was a phishing attempt, someone was trying to hack my account. Out of curiosity I opened my internet browser and saw this.

..Had Versaweb just tried to phish my Twitter password? To what end? I managed to avoid being hacked but my comrade didn’t. There are nazis on his Twitter account currently.

Twitter seem to be taking their sorry ass time about it. A number of us have reported the account has been hacked and also various tweets that most definitely violate their terms of service but it doesn’t seemed to have alerted them.

Reading about the incel who murdered two with a view to many more I can’t help but balk at the statement from New Mexico law enforcement:

“It’s a shame he wasn’t on our radar,” San Juan County Sheriff Ken Christesen told Fox News last week. “I don’t think he had anything so much as a traffic ticket.”

And yet online, the 21-year-old New Mexico resident lived a prolific life as a white supremacist, pro-Trump meme peddler who was most known for his obsession with school shooters. For a half-decade, Atchison spent most of his days online, repeatedly posting threats of violence and cries for help.

Why has the nazi problem been allowed to spin so far out of control? Why hasn’t anyone listened to their victims? This isn’t my first run in with kiwifarms, nor any other chapter of incels, self confessed rapists, racists and paedosadists, there are many mutations of the ‘chans’ that plagued us 4-5 years ago. We reported it then and we were told to log off. We were told by the authorities they could not prove we were distressed or intimidated by nazis threatening to rape and kill us because we talked back. They’ve been allowed to propagate, organise and galvanise themselves. Where is the authority?

No one can say at this stage they ‘didn’t know’. In the aftermath of genocides this is the coward’s lament. Everyone knows nazis are here. Everyone knows they want to force women into having sex.

What are we going to do about it?

Neutralising The Nazi Incel Threat

For more than a week, Nazi Incels (proud white supremacists who can’t seem to get laid) have been stalking my social media profiles, trawling for information that will reveal my location for the purpose of racist and sexual violence.

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That threat came fairly early on. They had hoped that it would scare me into closing/locking down my accounts because the intention is to silence women, especially of colour, because nazis don’t like it when women speak back, never mind minorities. I stopped reading it after a while, there are only so many threats one’s brain can process without feeling profoundly disturbed.

This is the admin of the site, allegedly. jm-e1527175427625.png

An anonymous account sent me this information. It could be entirely true or a ruse to get us looking in the wrong direction.

 

Kiwifarms had originally targeted me back in 2016 when a member of their forum, Mark Sabine, a lecturer at Nottingham University set up a thread in a similar vein. For reasons unbeknownst to me at the time, Sabine deleted the thread and offered an unreserved apology. I was taken aback, I hadn’t expected it to be quite so easy.

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I couldn’t understand why a troll would use their real name for a start. I’m still not convinced it’s the real Mark Sabine but it should be easy enough to ascertain with a simple email. Mark supposedly teaches queer culture yet frequents a site set up to target queer people. I guess he didn’t think anyone would fight back?

By now we all know what a nazi incel is. For those who need clarification, a nazi incel is a white supremacist who is ‘involuntarily celibate’ meaning no one will have sex with them. Instead of questioning why this might be and making an effort to better themselves they’re weaponising it. Far from being ashamed by this, they are proudly stating the case for forced marriage and promising sex abuse if this demand is not met. Their self proclaimed messiah, another supposedly educated man, Jordan Peterson with his fetish for crustacean porn has been attempting to intellectualise sex abuse with pseudo evolutionary pop psychology that has been debunked all over the internet but it doesn’t seem to have bothered them in the slightest. Imagine if non white men had made a similar statement. Imagine if the asian grooming gangs had turned around and said they were entitled to violate bodies at will and they were not sorry and they would do it again. Imagine the outrage.

Sarah Champion, disgraced Labour MP who resigned as shadow equalities minister following her entirely racist article regarding grooming gangs is awkwardly silent on the growing threat of white supremacist rapists who are emboldened by the authorities’ impasse on the single biggest threat facing women and various other marginalised groups. Selective outrage with regards to sex abusers enables rapists because racism hurts all victims of sex abuse, even white ones.

The internet is heaving with articles alerting us to the dangers of incels and the forums they have set up to avoid accountability.

The internet is enabling a community of men who want to kill women. 

‘Incel Rebellion’

The Official ‘an incel murdered somebody’ thread – Reddit

Hosts like Versaweb have been tripping over themselves to afford nazi incels anonymity when mainstream organisations have been forced to comply with their own community guidelines and take down offending posts. Versaweb  host the nazi site ‘Kiwifarms’ and as yet have failed to respond to correspondence informing them they are enabling abuse. Their silence translates as unequivocal support for nazis and the abuse they mete out to often vulnerable and marginalised targets. The collaborators and enablers, the sympathisers, what are they if not nazis themselves?

On the 25th May GDPR means organisations will need our explicit consent before sharing our data. For months now I’ve been inundated with emails begging to be allowed to continue sending me bumf I have tried to opt out of numerous times over the years. It seems to me they’re really desperate to get my permission and yet I am not confident this will have any effect on nazis stalking and harassing women on the internet. Mostly because the authorities have failed to hold anyone to account for the multiple threats to rape and kill me. However I am in the process of compiling evidence for the police, yet again. Because people have been murdered by nazis and we can shame them into action, even if they don’t personally care.

I have a group of white professionals (mostly male), some with legal backgrounds, prepared to accompany me to the local police station. It’s easy enough to fob off minorities, especially when they have mental health issues and can be harangued into breaking down and disengaging, but white people, white middle aged men, well they know their rights and they’re not averse to demanding them.

Last time I reported nazi incels to the police, in 2014, they said that they could not prove in a court of law that I was distressed or intimidated by the numerous threats to slit me from ear to ear or the images depicting rape followed by promises of the same. They went on to warn me I could be prosecuted for my use of the phrase ‘kill all men’. Well, it’s been a few years since I said those words, once I’d been reminded that my speech was not free. I haven’t responded to many threads promising violence, or the stalking and harassment of my friends and family, many of whom have deleted their online profiles. I have been a good little victim. Let’s see where that gets me.

(PS: The nazis would have had a harder job of tracking me down were it not for the abusive ex partner (also journalist) Shihab Salim Joi outing my full name a coupla years ago in a bid to slander me for exposing him as a domestically and sexually violent abuser. He set up a profile on Twitter which was eventually taken down for impersonation but not before the damage was done. Well done Shihab, for enabling nazis *slow clap* As a father of two daughters yourself, I’m sure you’re pleased with your work. All hail the entitled patriarchy, whether brown or white, they just want the freedom to abuse women and shut them up just because they can. This is usually where I say my favourite phrase but as I am censored you’ll have to imagine it instead)

If you have any information that might help, please contact me on Twitter or via the comments below.

Britain’s Rejects

My 72 year old immigrant grandmother died in 2002, prompting a rushed visit to Pakistan. She had specified her wishes to be repatriated to her final resting place when the time came. Growing up we’d always objected to their pipe dream plans to show us the motherland, even going so far as likening it to death, given that we were never short of a cautionary tale or two of what could go wrong if they were not truthful of their intentions. There was always talk of so and so’s kid who’d gone off the rails so the folks took them ‘back home’ to straighten them out. This usually meant a forced marriage but there was always the worry you’d never return.

For 20 years I’d ignored their pleas to at least give them a chance and see what they had built with their own hands, for us, so that we had roots and a place we could always call home. My gran, or dhaadhi as we called her, would look at us in disbelief and shake her head, unsure of how else to sell it to us; the stories she’d tell of exotic fruits abundant in the courtyard, trees grown especially for us, her face wrinkled up in a smile as she recalled the exceptional quality of, as she put it, the juiciest mangoes on God’s green earth and other fruits I don’t know the English word for.

Whilst I love listening to her and seeing her clear delight I wasn’t convinced. I considered myself British, English even, and harboured an unhealthy self hate; I wasn’t above sneering at Pakis. Eager to set myself apart I believed the things white people said about Pakistan and Pakistanis and asserted my Britishness whenever it was required of me. I do cringe whenever I think back to that mindset. I think about the sort of white person who’d get off on hearing my disgust for people like me, the kind to collect tokens and play brown people off each other, dividing Muslims and Hindus for example and profiting off the misery that inevitably follows. Divide rule and conquer works to this day.

It didn’t matter when she died though, I suddenly felt I owed her a trip. Almost immediately I was consumed with guilt that I hadn’t honoured this wish of hers whilst she had been alive but I hoped she knew I was with her for her final journey. Barely six hours after she took her last breath we (my twin, dad, aunt and I) were in business class on a PIA flight bound for Islamabad. It was the first time I’d ever flown and my nerves were shot, I’d barely slept or processed what had happened but the hot cloths and silver service made up for the turbulence a little bit. My dad even let twin and I smoke a cigarette! It was that kind of a day, normal programming abandoned, venturing into the unknown out of a sense of duty and family pride. I tried not to think of her, alone, entombed in a wooden box, along with the rest of the cargo.

We landed at Islamabad airport at 6am. I was hit by the heat, as if I’d walked into a wall of hot air and it would suffocate me, upon exiting the plane. The sun hadn’t been up long but it was already 27 degrees. My thoughts went to my gran and the effect these conditions would have on her lifeless body. We waited for her coffin to be released and clung to each other through the chaos and din of the arrivals lounge, we weren’t in Kansas anymore. Random strange men pawed at our luggage offering to carry it, not being entirely forthcoming about the tip they expected for this service. It smelt funny, and the people were scary, staring at us as if we’d fallen from the sky. An uncle herded us out of the terminal and explained we looked different to regular Pakistanis and they were probably trying to figure out if we were worth anything.

It didn’t feel like a homecoming but the worst day of my life and the natives weren’t exactly helping. I didn’t want my worst fears to be confirmed, that we were easy pickings and could be disappeared, never to return. Dad’s cousin thought we were hilarious, batting furiously at the flies that seemed to throng the air, shrieking at the various creepy critters that had dared to greet us. We were a novelty. Fragile. Typical of desis who’d lost their way. A highly amusing form of entertainment for the locals.

The funeral was as expected; the outpouring of grief par the course but I had never imagined my dear gran knew so many people. I was bewildered by the number of women sat around smoking, a practice that was almost entirely gendered amongst the older generations in Britain. I only ever knew one lady smoker, my granddad’s sister in law and she had a free pass on account of her mental status. Here it just seemed to be a way of life, the chilum, similar to a shisha, was a permanent fixture. Granted they weren’t holding penis shaped cigarettes as they do in the west (cigarettes were originally marketed to women on the basis that women envied the penis and smoking would achieve equality or something) but this was really a sight to behold for someone who’d been brought up in a strict household where women most definitely did not smoke. I was also surprised at the relative freedom my girl cousins had with regards to their personal grooming. We’d been forced to keep our hair long, our eyebrows natural and our sleeves below the elbow and yet my cousins had no such restrictions. It’s when I first started to believe our grandparents were trying to preserve something of our culture in the west, that we were a snapshot frozen in time of an era pre colonialism whereas the rest of the world had just moved on.

They referred to us as the English princesses, for being so vulnerable to the elements. In our hurry to bury dhaadhi according to Islamic law within 24 hours, we’d had to forgo the usual preparations; shots for foreign diseases and the like. Within 48 hours we were struck with a mystery bug that was determined to shoot itself out of both ends and stifling temperatures in the mid 50s weren’t helping the situation, especially when the electricity was guaranteed to give out at least twice a day. I had never felt more miserable in my life and decided there was nothing else for it, we had to go home. Everyone else had other ideas though; we hadn’t given it a chance, we needed to eat more and think about getting better, the airline wouldn’t carry us if we were too sick and for a brief time I was petrified they weren’t going to let us leave at all. Maybe this had been the plan all along.

Fortunately the bug seemed to attack in waves and a day later our uncle took us shopping, we hadn’t come with very much stuff, in my case I didn’t even own more than one pair of salwar kameez. All was going well until we actually spoke to the vendors and my uncle clocked they were hiking up the prices. He said if we liked the look of anything to point at it rather than say anything aloud. I was confused, we’d been conversing in Punjabi but apparently even that sounded different to them and English people could afford to pay more.

I felt personally attacked, not gonna lie. I didn’t belong here, as people were keen to point out with every interaction. I didn’t like the heat, I didn’t like the food, or the people even, they were rude and looked at me the way closeted racists did in England. I didn’t feel safe. All I wanted was a cheese and tomato sandwich and my bed, at home in rainy blighty. I asked for fries on one occasion, thinking there isn’t a place in the world you can’t get fries, and bawled my eyes out when they arrived dusted with chilli powder. In the end, I shook off as much of it as I could and sliced up some tomato and onion for the weirdest chip butty ever. I dreamed of Nandos. I vowed to kiss the ground when I got home and never complain about the cold ever again (delirious or delusional, you decide) and made it my mission to pester the folks at all times, ET had to go home. Eventually, 10 days after the ordeal began we boarded a flight home, excited like you wouldn’t believe I made lists in my head of everything I would drink and eat.

I wasn’t sorry to say goodbye to my dysfunctional country of origin, but I did think of what it might be like, 50 years on. There’s no doubting Pakistan is a hellhole for many reasons but it was made this way. It was a consolation prize given to the victims of the British empire, those who once considered themselves Indian, those of my grandparents generation who would’ve been young children at the time of partition. They’ve seen horrors we can only imagine. They are the product of such horrors. To show humanity you must be shown it and Pakistanis are amongst some of the first to be dehumanised. They are the losers of the empire and all the alliances that followed, between extremists bound by mutual desires for power and control and must be mocked and denigrated in order to maintain the global hierarchy. They are Muslims and they were once proud rulers of India, loved by moderates of all faiths. Their fall from grace is the only lasting legacy for young Pakistan, it simply hasn’t had enough time to recuperate.

Our grandparents were refugees of a kind, the land they occupied was destroyed by the British who busted a dam, destroying everything. Britain promised those people refuge from a disaster of their own creation and so they came, naive to the racism that awaited them. They never accepted they were British, my grandparent’s generations, their hearts were too broken, unable to mend. Such is the life of the stateless citizen. I had tricked myself into believing I belonged in the UK but 9/11 changed all of that. The unspoken hate bubbled to the surface and became impossible to ignore. It’s gotten exponentially worse in recent years, there’s no denying it now. They say we don’t integrate but when we do they want to ban us from getting involved, just look at the furore over the Xmas ads, life is impossible for those of us who do not belong anywhere.

There’s no love lost between me and centrist Sadiq Khan but I felt for him today. We don’t belong anywhere, we only have an idea of what it is to belong somewhere and our place of birth is the nearest we can get to realising it, despite what the racists might say.

Toxic Twitter is for White Supremacists

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Yesterday I posted a tweet regarding the suicide of Carl Sargeant, who took his own life following allegations of sex abuse.

I stand by this tweet, at a time when media vultures are desperate to create a narrative that will help cover up the true extent of sex abuse in our society we must take it upon ourselves to maintain the truth even when it makes us uncomfortable. I wasn’t surprised when the usual suspects – white men – turned up in my mentions to tell me to go see how I liked it in Delhi, a nod to the gang rape a few years back and how I was a bitter woman and an attention seeker.

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I didn’t go looking for this man, just to be clear, he found my tweet and approached me just to say I was an attention seeker. I replied:

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I would suggest this was a fair enough rebuke given that he was doing exactly what he was accusing me of, seeking my attention. He went on to say:

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This random on the internet was just looking for an excuse to bully me and so I muted him after the swiftest of exchanges and thought nothing more of it. In fact I had many tweets attacking me for standing in support of victims of sexual violence:

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I can just imagine Alan wanking furiously to the thought of brown women being violated in foreign countries, it’s a fetish of his. He blocked me before I could report his account for targeted harassment and abusive behaviour aimed at my perceived race/religion etc.

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This is a perfect example of white power, subjected me to hateful language and harassment whilst claiming I’m the racist.

alanconalancourseOnly an entitled white male with zero self control/awareness would think it ok to suggest I give a shit at all about whether he finds me attractive or not. Never mind the infantilisation that comes with it, quite sickening when you think of it in the context of sex abuse. He thinks he’s attacking a girl, not a 35 year old woman and this makes it even more despicable.

gelnpellroth

This take.. correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the PIE filled with right wing establishment types, like prince Andrew’s best mate? As if I’ve ever made a distinction between the sorts of men I’d like to see dead and buried. ALL men are capable of sex abuse and ALL men must be held to account.

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White men do not care about victims of sexual violence, they object to non white predators. You can draw a parallel with the ‘coming over here, taking all our jobs’ trope, they’re only upset there are fewer victims for them. This is why you never see white men demand action against all predatory sex attackers.

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That’s SIR Jimmy Savile, 1300 child victims of sex abuse, and everyone knew about what he was doing but no one said a thing, not the BBC, nor the government or the mainstream media. A mentally ill sex pest who used his elite networks to abuse white children at whim but all is forgiven, the real issue is those darkies who’ve been hardwired that way. Timmeh’s account is live still despite directing hate at a group of people/members of a religion. What a fascinating double standard Twitter seems to operate.

Later in the day I went to log in to Twitter only to find myself locked out. The prat who’d said I was an attention seeker reported me for two tweets which I happily deleted upon being prompted by Twitter and yet my account was still restricted, effectively silencing me for a week as I am not able to tweet, RT, like or send media in my DMs. I can read my TL and I can send DMs to mutual follows.

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There are Nazis advocating genocide on Twitter but we must allow the marketplace of ideas for civilised debates even if that means inciting hatred and violence towards minorities but I can’t be hyperbolic and suggest a man eat his own weiner, what if I tracked him down and made him do it..?

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He sent me a tweet calling me an attention seeker and routed a bunch of other white supremacist misogynists my way and when I tried to return the favour (at which point I also muted his account because he wouldn’t stop tweeting at me) he reports me for abuse and I am punished for a week? I don’t think this is just crappy algorithms, in recent weeks I’ve seen many of the prominent woc I follow have their accounts suspended because they were reported by a fragile fuckin snowflake and Twitter has done nothing to rectify this. I don’t think the Twitter nerds are ignorant, I believe they are actively supporting white supremacy behind the scenes – wtf is the Trump account about? – but cannot sieg heil in public because nazism doesn’t pay, at least not this century.

Update: Twitter has verified the account of the Nazi who organised the Charlottesville klan rally where Heather Heyer was murdered by a white supremacist. Twitter is telling us what it is, it’s time we listened and accepted it.

 

All Grooming Gangs

Maajid Nawaz (a man I’m strangely familiar with even though I couldn’t tell you what he does for a living) has admonished his Muslim ‘sisters’ and pleaded with them in a ‘heartfelt’ campaign to remove their Muslim dress, and as an added bonus, dredged up the old Asian grooming gangs ‘scandal’ a coupla days later, reiterating how we as British Pakistanis should be discussing it not brushing it under the carpet. I don’t think we need reminding ever because the narrative around Asian grooming gangs is ongoing, it is the first thing bigots of all classes belch at us when we defend our right to exist free from harm.

I also find it dangerously problematic this man of Pakistani descent is contributing to a narrative which excuses the violence perpetrated by white men against Muslim women for their dress; Muslim women have been murdered, beaten so viciously they have lost their unborn children, spat at, sworn at, assaulted, all because of what they are wearing. Rather than support his Muslim sisters in their choices and seek to protect them by naming the problem –  violent white men with empire sized entitlement issues – he enables it, victimising them further. He wants white men to attack Muslim women in the street. He’s given them carte blanche when he, self-appointed mehram, is PLEADING with us to be good little Muslim girls and strip for the white people. If we dare to disobey this very public appeal then we’re, honestly, just asking for it, white supremacists are looking for any excuse. Maajid repeatedly underlines that Muslim women are attacked in the street because of Muslim men who flee terror situations in female attire. He doesn’t once mention the racist judgments white people make of anyone who is not lily white, of the sort of violence and arrogant misogyny white men subject Muslim looking women to.

I was wearing a dress cut to my knees with bare legs and my hair out when I was racially abused on a packed bus at 3am in a multicultural part of London. It does not matter how many hoops you jump, my beloved diaspora siblings, a dog born in a stable is still a dog to these mad Englishmen. Take your veil off, uncover your face, you arse even, men will still be men, racist cunts will still be racist cunts. I challenged a white male on Twitter recently, when he said he did not want Europe overrun by Asian grooming gangs yet didn’t think twice before he told me:

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That’s why I find this stab at the ol’ grooming gangs all the more grotesque. This insistence that Asian grooming gangs are somehow the biggest threat to society is deliberate. This regurgitation of information to the exclusion of all other facts is propaganda. What makes the victims of Asian grooming gangs more deserving of recognition and justice than the victims of Britain’s national treasures, parliamentarians, social services, the police, the football association, the church? I know for a fact no one cared about these young victims of sadistic brown men. It went on from 1997 to 2013 and the excuse given by the all-powerful authorities is they didn’t want to offend anybody. How awfully British in its delivery and the fact that it is complete and utter bullshit. When I was a domestic and sexual violence worker for women of all colour, religions etc. I would often inquire with the officers in charge of my cases why there was such a gap in provision for women of colour and they used the exact same excuse, that the perps would insist it was a part of their culture and the authorities didn’t want to offend. From my perspective, it was just lazy racism, when you are not motivated to care about people you do not consider human you’ll make up a thousand excuses for your negligence and no one will think to question it because it is in line with their lazy racism.

Fact: no one, not the cops, or the governing authorities, or even the average white man, gives a flying shit about white working class girls. You think of them as chavs and sluts and mock them for being gym slip mums in love with Albanian refugees. I’ve seen it, heard it, I’ve worked with these young victims. Nobody cared until it appeared the rug had FINALLY been pulled out from the elite paedosadist networks and we’d finally get justice for the many thousands of historic victims.

Every time well-meaning bros like Maajid and Adil Ray contribute to this metanarrative of predatory men of colour seeking out white women to spoil, they are confirming entrenched notions of sexual violence as a basic trait found in most if not all darkie savages to the detriment of all victims of white men.

Whenever I try to point this out I am targeted by white supremacists who just keep repeating the same old shit; “why don’t Muslims condemn it?” They condemned it in 2013 and again in 2014, read all about it here.

“Why are you denying there is a problem in the British Pakistani community?” If you’d ever actually listened to me you’d know I believe all men are capable of sexual violence in a patriarchal society that actively encourages harassment and subjugation of women, both east and west. In my opinion I wish they’d all drop dead but some of y’all find this contentious too.

“You don’t want to discuss it, just pretend it never happened.” Maajid, again with his impassioned pleas, has said we must talk about the grooming scandal and yet twice, I’ve tweeted at him to let him know he has an open invitation to discuss it with me, a British Pakistani, a cultural Muslim as opposed to firm believer, a survivor of male perpetrated violence from both Pakistanis and whites, a domestic and sexual violence worker with feminist leanings and first and foremost, a woman, and he hasn’t responded and most likely won’t. I do not fulfil their stereotypes, I provide a real account of life on rainy fascist island from the perspective of those women everyone seeks to silence. Or maybe he cannot speak to me because he is NOT my mehram and can only communicate via a third party. I find it cheeky af he uses his position as a ‘brother’ to convey certain patriarchal dynamics whilst being most unbrotherly like when he asks them to take their clothes off. Whatever his angle, it wasn’t as innocent as it would seem with his emotive culturally familiar language, it just makes it even more despicable.

When they do this, recycle ‘scandals’ like these, I cannot help but wonder what they are trying to cover up. It is sensationalised and it’s difficult not to get swept up by it, rage is renewed, the facts are distorted some more until it feels like it only just happened yesterday. How many thousands of victims of white grooming gangs are currently suffering unimaginable cruelty because we’re all focused on a particular kind of rapist? When they do come forward they get accused of only doing it for the money or attention, no one ever believes them. This should be an obvious double standard, plain for everyone to see.

Don’t be a racist collaborator, Maajid, it never ends well, & fucking well answer my tweets.

Penny Sized Thoughts

As a short Asian woman (5ft 1in) belonging to one of the largest demographics on this here planet of ours, representation matters. We’re an easy target, we’re smaller so we can’t get away quick enough, or we’re more visible because we are child sized in an adult world, frequently fetishised by orientalists and predators who think we’re easy pickings. Everyone has a go, and I mean EVERYONE, because we’re traditionally submissive and scared of most people. The penalties for deviating evident on this very blog, as a notoriously small yet unusually loud and ‘aggressive’ south Asian woman I’m a shock to most people’s systems because I refuse to play to type, not that it matters, people only see what they want. We never have legitimate concerns, we’re merely acting out, throwing a tantrum.

Perhaps this logic can be applied to some people, just not all. The equally diminutive Laurie Penny has since deleted the offending tweet but I gather it went something like this:

laurie penny 2

fetishising yes

Here’s the thing Laurie, there isn’t a niche market for little Asian lady clothes, we live in a society that almost exclusively caters to white people, with their big bones and flat bodies. We are masters of the wunderweb or else we have our clothes professionally altered, it’s always been more expensive to be a little Asian lady on Rainy Fascist Island, unless you manage to find a child sized garment with enough room for woman sized boobs and bums.

We’re the same size more or less, Laurie and I, in height that is. Our bodies are completely different, as you would expect. I suspect Laurie, whilst similar in stature, has a fetishisation for bodies she would deem exotic, the curvier silhouette of a woman of colour for example. It is perhaps why, when she overheard me bemoaning the severe lack of smoochable comrades at a party, she offered her own mouth. What was I going to do, put on the spot like that? I couldn’t exactly reject her (I’m much better at saying no these days, beware)  so I obliged. It was nice enough but I couldn’t shake off the feeling it was a bit awkward and entitled and she walked away straight after, if it wasn’t already weird enough.

Thinking on it now, with my more rounded view of Laurie and the world she inhabits, she probably did it just so she could say she’d kissed an Asian girl and she liked it. It’s not the first time she’s gotten into trouble for saying inappropriate things about woc, specifically small Asian women.

laurie penny fetishlaurie penny fetish 1

Or you could just be a white woman with an orientalist fetish, and enjoy the relative privileges being white gives you. You can dip into short people’s oppressions when it suits, and also the ways in which you are perceived, for instance, I think you play on the infantilisation people impose on you. We’re expected to forgive the awful things you say because you haven’t eaten, when people like myself are expected to never make a mistake even when we’re on opiates for ill health.

laurie eats toast

Frankly, I’m sick of this petulant brat. She is beyond reproach, schmoozing Nazis, helping to rebrand white supremacy for the 21st century and her sycophantic audience laps it up, time and time again. Laurie has many opinions on womanhood and how we use performative femininity to attract men, completely ignorant of the various cultural reasons non white women have for keeping their hair long. She thinks of herself as enlightened, almost Godlike (a white supremacist trait) in her analysis of other women.

I don’t care what she meant, or whether she thinks her words are being taken out of context, every interaction Laurie has with the wider world speaks volumes about the kind of person she is; irresponsible, self absorbed, entitled and ultimately, a predictable bore.