Safe Spaces

Less Mosquito for Everyone!

I’m about to do something I never do, at least never on this blog. I haven’t sold out, I’m genuinely bowled over by this product and want everyone to experience the miracle as I have. It’s literally life saving stuff

If like me you are a veritable feast for the creepy crawlies all around us then read on. This is not a sales pitch* but a testimonial, from one begrudging victim to another, I have never been more pleased with a purchase in my entire life. I was so impressed I contacted Incognito to pass on my glowing review and impulsively offered to become a product ambassador for them, I was that enthused. They unexpectedly took me up on the offer and sent a box full of their various lines, 16 in total, and whilst I passed a few around to other long suffering pals, I am pleased to report they enhance the already magical properties of the PMD oil found in their roll on and sprays, by minimising the amount of body odour that is detectable to critters. From the crystal anti-deodorant to the citronella oil and bath soap, each product is designed to work in synergy with the others, to provide a layering cloaking effect leaving you completely invisible to bloodsuckers of all kinds.

Impressively Incognito also repels many arachnids, like ticks, which, for an avid dog walker and lover of our four legged friends, is a massive bonus, obviously I don’t want to risk Lyme disease but it gives that extra reassurance on top of the regular flea and tick treatment I give to my dog. I simply apply the roll on to my hand and wipe down her fur. 

With each new fact I learn, I am even more excited about the potential for its uses, not only is it providing me with 100% protection against bites that I’d suffered with my whole life, to which I reacted very badly, I can use it on my dog, which in turn could bring her vet fees down considerably. When Frida squatted down to wee over an ant’s nest recently she was bitten several times which resulted in oozing lesions. Frantic, as I wasn’t immediately aware of the cause, I emailed the vet some pictures and after identifying them correctly she was prescribed an ointment for £35. I decided to keep an eye on them instead and luckily they resolved themselves after a few days. I started applying the roll on to her then and am pleased to report it was an isolated incident, she has been bite free ever since.

Incognito doesn’t kill bugs as other repellents may do, it just repels them. I’ve seen flying creatures make a bee line for me then swerve at the last minute. I’ve watched them hover around my window, under which I’ve placed an Incognito room freshener, then buzz away completely disinterested by the inviting bright warmth of my abode.

For 3 years I have managed to avoid attacks that would blight and infect my skin, and it was an attack. Once whilst camping I fell asleep with my hand outside the tent and awoke to find it had swelled so I couldn’t move my fingers. It was intensely itchy and painful; I spent the rest of the day pressing crosses into the skin with my nails for some relief. Another time I met with some friends on the green up Brixton hill. I was devoured through my clothes, my entire back bobbled like a mogwai erroneously fed after midnight! A friend had a zap ease contraption that she applied to my back for me but it was a number of days before those welts went down, during which time I could barely sleep, or sweat, without sobbing a little. I’ve since learnt horse flies have saw like jaws instead of individual teeth and I’m convinced this is what caused the carnage that induced an audible gasp in those caring for my back.

When I moved to a house that is not far off from a boggy body of water, I knew I had to take the health of my skin seriously. I love the great outdoors and would live in a tent if I could but have always been somewhat hesitant because of the way nature can turn on me. In the past I have used products containing deet but spent the time consumed with guilt at all the creatures falling like flies, and concerned for the effects long after I’m gone. I took my hunt for an ethical sustainable protection system seriously. I spent varying amounts on products because I reasoned the cost was unimportant, when it was something so crucial to my well-being. I have mosquito guards for my windows but the odd pesky one would still sneak through. I have used cosmetic repellents, essential oils, luxury moisturising repellents, clinical looking and sounding ones but when I chanced upon Incognito my interest was certainly piqued, it contained every single repellent herb and oil I’d ever come across, and it was making some rather bold claims, about how it was 100% effective, for much longer than any other brand, and this whilst being gentle enough to use on 6 month old babies. I reasoned Ocado wouldn’t stock snake oil, not if their commitment to trading standards is worth anything. At around £8 it’s on the reasonable end of the scale too. It absolutely did not disappoint and they found a loyal customer for life in me.

As if I needed any more convincing, their new suncream insect repellent is such a useful product when under the sun: it has broad spectrum protection SPF30.

The secret process has long been a thorn in the side of big pharma who are predictably resistant to the concept of an ethical multi use product that would bite into their profits. Just look at any seller’s comments sections for the 1 star reviews, claims such as that they didn’t know incense sticks could set fire to plants, as though that is the fault of the product and not the end user. I’ve used Incognito’s incense sticks for 3 years and never run into any problems, because I understand fire safety and do not leave flammable items unattended. Reviews such as these bring the overall ratings down and it is not a massive stretch to consider they might be malicious. If anything it makes me even more determined to help Incognito succeed. 

In a world that is rapidly changing so that we the people will no longer stand for the planet destroying endeavours of corporations just in it for themselves, Incognito shines a beacon for the way ahead. It uses sugar cane packaging for its products, and is committed to clean energy, not just in the production but the running of its offices and transportation systems. I highly recommend you check them out and get yourself the protection you deserve against what seems to me, increasingly hostile and hench bugs. The changing weather is bound to have an effect. PMD oil has also been shown to kill some coronaviruses and is currently being tested against SARS-COV-2 and whilst the results are still pending, it doesn’t hurt to use it as a hand-sanitiser as well. 

Keep an eye out for the 15% sale coming soon to their website!

lessmosquito.com

*I have not received any payment for this asides from the samples pictured

Social distancing for the socially inept

Being on week two of self isolation, without symptoms, I’m what you might call socially conscious. Sure, I have underlying health conditions so may be at higher risk but more than that I am truly afraid of passing something on that could prove fatal. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew a loved one or even a stranger with a compromised immune system met their fate because of an avoidable exchange with me. I suppose social isolation is second nature for some of us, we’ve had enough practice under the Tory’s hostile environment but then I also genuinely care about people; so there are lots of motivating factors ensuring I stay at home for the foreseeable.

The British public, however, aren’t like me and my friends. For years they have been told by the government and other proud Britons in print media and state broadcasting they don’t need to care about anyone else. They don’t have to care about Europeans, or Muslims, or refugees, or women of colour, or victims of child sexual assault perpetrated on by white predators. The great British public thronged beaches and public parks over the weekend, when people should have been in isolation, or at least keeping their distance, instead crammed together for maximum exposure.

For centuries they had believed their own hype but for the latter part of the last century they were considered somewhat of a joke on the world stage; no one likes British tourists or our sense of entitlement. Just a couple of days ago France requisitioned trucks carrying face masks bound for Britain. Decided, just like that, to hold on to them. It had also threatened to shut the border if Boris did not comply with their demands to take more stringent measures and Boris folded. Yay sovereignty.

If our premier is struggling to take this seriously and consider all the dangers, then what hope in hell do the general public have? The government, along with morning TV hosts like Lorraine Kelly and Piers Morgan have launched scathing attacks on the public for their selfishness, resorting to shock tactics like imagining the corpse of a loved one between yourself and the next person as a way of measuring social distance or shaming people for their panic buying, when self interest has been de rigeur since Thatcher and has even infected the socialist left with its centrist contingent ensuring we always get a right wing government whoever we vote for. You can’t encourage individualism then bash the British public when they don’t understand what it is to be socially conscious, they need to be taught by example.

We are headed towards unprecedented levels of suffering. In just a few days the death toll is going to sharply rise. The years of drip fed propaganda reassuring Britons they are a breed apart and impervious to the usual ills will be their downfall. Just like Brexit ensured we are vulnerable to the worst outcomes in this crisis, because we think we’re better than everyone else when the reality is we are isolated and unendearing, coronavirus will have found a happy home in a population ignorant to the needs of the whole.

When the father of your prime minister goes on record to say he, as a senior citizen at risk of contracting the virus, will still go to the pub if he ‘has’ to, against government advice, then similarly entitled solipsists will follow suit. Perhaps this will be our reckoning.

A Cautionary Mental Health Story

I learnt a long time ago I could not express myself in the way I wanted to or expect to be treated as an equal on rainy fascist island. I knew that speaking up would make me a target and I wasn’t strong enough to take it. I decided I would write down my version of events anyway, immediately, to remind myself this is how it happened, because things get downplayed, minimised, erased and historically I’ve been easily silenced, and gaslighted, even by people you’d never suspect of such an injustice.

I flagged on social media my first session with a specialist psychotherapist because I felt really uneasy afterwards, like I had been scrutinised and judged. I reasoned perhaps this was what it was supposed to feel like, I was here to learn of the inconvenient truths I’d buried but it irked me that the therapist hadn’t smiled at me once. I learnt about unconditional positive regard over 20 years ago, in a psychology module, as an example of best practice. Therapists must show clients acceptance and support in order to build a rapport and this makes sense, how else are vulnerable people meant to engage with a service if they feel they are being maligned?

I quieted the little voice that told me to run as fast as I could, even though my first therapist told me to always listen to it. I reasoned it was just an assessment, and that it would be followed up by another session to further assess my needs and this process was bound to get messy. I stuck with it, although I had to cancel 4 of the 11 sessions I was booked in for. The therapist would later assert that I had cancelled 6 of the 11, neglecting to mention she had cancelled one herself, and another was rearranged owing to a hospital appointment I absolutely could not miss, to investigate a possible auto-immune condition. There were 3 absences I was accountable for, when I had simply felt too sick to attend. It wasn’t very helpful either that there was no consistency in the times and dates I was offered, for example I might be booked in on a Thursday for 3pm, the following week Tuesday at 10am. This chopping and changing had the effect I suspected it would; on Thursday I booked a dogsitter to watch Frida whilst I went to therapy but it was only when I’d handed her over that my blood suddenly ran cold and I remembered the appointment was for 10.30am. I calmed down after a few minutes when I remembered it was for 10.30am the following Monday. It wasn’t the first time it happened either, it accounted for one of my absences. I had called in to check what time my appointment was only to be advised I had already missed it.

From the first session, I felt unwanted, a burden. She would sigh in exasperation at my expectations (or lack, thereof) and perspectives, and at the end of every session asked what I wanted from the service, as if I had more of an idea of what they provided than she did. I informed her I was not aware of all the services they offered and with this, she would arrange a follow up appointment to continue the assessment. Of the 5 sessions I was in attendance, I told her about everything, my life, my relationships, how I interact with them and the world and she actually said “it sounds like you’re trying to impress me” (!) I responded that I was trying to give her as clear a picture as possible so that she could use her professional experience and do her job to signpost me to the relevant services.. why would I need to impress her? She kept eye contact for too long or not all, making me shift in my seat. Always with the stony face.In every session she would suggest that perhaps this was not the right service for me, and I’d be better suited to group work, or somewhere that was closer to my home. She wanted rid and I had never felt more awkward but I was going to play the game, when specialist psych services are so thin on the ground, you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Plus I never want to piss a mental health professional off, they have the power to ruin your life with just one diagnosis.

There is always a power imbalance in a therapeutic setting, it should be a safe space where you are able to let yourself be vulnerable but this is not something I felt comfortable doing here. I felt she was prejudiced towards me for whatever reason and I absolutely did not feel comfortable discussing cultural differences with her. Contrary to what some might suggest, I do not feel like this about all white people, my first therapist, the late Angella Ryan, was white, with French and Irish ancestry but she was also an immigrant, and she was the first person to open my eyes to the inequalities I navigated every day. She saved my life. She was critical of me, but she built me up first. I never felt judged, I always felt she had my best interests at heart, I believe tough love is not completely without its virtues, if it’s coming from someone who genuinely wants the best for you. She knew I was perceptive and didn’t fear me for it, or try and minimise my gut feelings, she actively encouraged me to heed them.

I called in sick for my last session, I felt so heavy I could not open my eyes. I had a sore throat and was experiencing bowel issues, as one might with irritable bowels. A few days later I received a letter informing me I was no longer on their service as I had repeatedly failed to commit to attending and how she was right after all in her assessments that a local service might be more suitable to my needs, and with this came an epiphany; I was relieved. I wouldn’t have to appeal to disinterested and potentially bigoted professionals with coercive power that I was worthy. It dawned on me that my body knew before I let my brain accept what I had already intimated deep within me; that I was not thought of as an equal or someone worthy of acceptance by this person who had behaved in a way that is familiar, on a cellular level. My body reacts to microaggressions even when I am trying to fool my brain into complying with an illegitimate authority. Interestingly I touched on authority with the therapist, because she suggested I was a ‘rebel’ for standing up to historical abusers, instead of a ‘survivor’. Rebel to me suggests I have no respect for authority, and am a contrarian for the sake of it when in actual fact, legitimate authority is all I really crave. I have no parental figure in my life I can turn to when I feel weak, which is why illegitimate authority rubs me up the wrong way.

It was in her rejection that the most valuable insight was revealed; my body cannot abide bigots of any kind. I had a sick record to be ashamed of before I had my breakdown. I wasn’t making it up, I had operations on my ovaries, and a couple on my back. I have irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, hypermobility, CPTSD, anxiety, depression.. except there are sometimes days when I feel like I am in peak fitness. Those days usually involve a lot of laughter and love, I feel safe and protected and the world is just a blip on the horizon.

I’m kind of sick of feeling like my illnesses are of my own creation and that I could feel better if I just did xyz.. I eat incredibly well, almost nothing processed. I take vitamins and supplements, I do cardio and weight training, I take my dog for walks, I sleep 7-9 hours a day and I try to laugh every day. I try to remember to tell someone I love them and am there for them, and I let love into my life. My sicknesses are not for lack of trying on my part, they are a natural reaction to the racism and ill treatment of minorities in Britain, along with all the misogyny and sex abuse.

In this respect my specialist psychotherapist inadvertently helped me realise why my abiding patterns are so hard to let go of – they were never in my control.

Or at least, they could be, if I leave and never look back.

Honour Based Violence in the British Royal Family

If we were to spend our lives believing everything the way it is presented to us by those in power, it might work out easier for us in the long run, to leave all the important decisions to somebody else but for those of us who choose to think critically, those of us who value honesty so much we are willing to suffer for it, the world is a stage and the 1% actors, presenting the side of themselves they believe we wish to see. There is no better example of this than the British royal family. ‘Sources’ reporting to the tabloids are palace staff, if not members of the royal family themselves. There is an army of royal correspondents, attached to their respective papers and broadcasting stations, and every last one is a royalist, prepared to read out official statements and pass them off as personal opinion. They hold dress rehearsals for funerals years in advance. The royal family is a live soap opera, fulfilling ideals of fairy tales that are poured into little ears from the moment the midwife assigns us female.

What nobody seems to consider, ever, not even the superior white feminists for whom femininity is a curse, is how the women who marry into the royal family are often treated as pariahs, as though they should be grateful for their privileges and in exchange cannot be allowed to have feelings ever again. Kate Middleton is one example of a woman who submitted, she has made herself small (quite literally) and churned out those heirs like a good un, never speaking out of turn or hinting at a personality. When Markle gave birth the papers were placing bets on when Kate would pop next, like it’s a competition for the queen’s affections. As the oldest daughter in law, wife of the heir apparent, she is given preferential treatment, like access to looted Mughal jewels, whereas Markle is forbidden (according to the Daily Express who like to take a royal press release and make it their own). It actually makes me laugh because the royal family conducts itself in exactly the same way as those who engage in honour based violence in the South Asian diaspora have done; the eldest son is in charge and his wife is given first dibs on everything, promoting inequality and ill feeling.

Familial abuse is an issue I am familiar with, from personal experience but also in my professional career as a women’s worker. More often than not it is considered a cultural matter because South Asian families stick together as opposed to moving away when they go to university or get married. It is something I grappled with growing up, this notion that certain suitors might estrange you from the family, as a result most people married within the clan to avoid such grievances. If everyone knows what is expected of them there’s less chance of conflict further down the line. This is what the royal family did themselves, the queen was betrothed to her cousin as a young child (still feel sickened by the news reel gushing about this child being in love with a grown man), and Prince Charles was related to Diana in a number of ways, not least because they shared Henry Tudor as an ancestor. If the royals hadn’t been white and immensely privileged, you could say it was a Forced Marriage. Look at the misery they endured for the length of their union and how Diana felt she’d done her bit providing an heir and a spare. Imagine if she’d had girls!

When Piers Morgan attacked Markle with the words “I always thought you’d do this anyway” he sounded like the in laws on Bhaji on the Beach (a film about honour violence made in 1993) attacking their dark skinned daughter in law (who’d married their son for love against their wishes) for leaving the family after he’d beaten her, claiming that the darker ones are sly and can’t be trusted. Morgan insists he is not racist and this is not about racism but he’s an ex tabloid editor, and has always been untrustworthy. Why is he allowed an opinion? I ran away from home at the age of 15 because I was sick of outsiders inserting themselves into familial matters as though they are personally invested when in actual fact they thrive off drama and conflict, and are always looking to settle old scores. Morgan has been waiting for the opportunity to let rip, because he is a savvy racist and knows how to play the game. This is about Meghan Markle being an outsider, not least because she is black and won’t bow down to pressure. What else could have informed his childish prophecy?

When racists have attempted to rationalise their prejudice for me, they often bring up the refusal of other groups to assimilate, and the resistance to intermarriage, to their chagrin. At the heart of it they fear rejection so pre-emptively reject the rejecters, at least that is what they say. The Royal Family is surely an example of this, they are supported by like minded die hard colonialists who do not assimilate yet stand apart from the rest of us, because they like to feel special, and they actively resist outsiders, demanding they fall into line if they should break through or else risk the wrath of the entire establishment. They are the most intolerant of all.

How is that the most public family in all of Great Britain escapes the attentions of the authorities, whether they are sexually abusing children or domestically abusing their wives and daughters in law? Emotional abuse is actually illegal in the UK but then so is racism and very little gets done about that. Women’s safety groups should be advocating for Meghan Markle, as a victim of familial honour based violence, she has “brought shame to the family” and is therefore at her most vulnerable (Diana died for her efforts). Antiquated beliefs such as this are mocked by the authorities when the victim is South Asian, as though we are backwards and savage yet the world’s media is happy to reinforce it for the royal family.

Aren’t you sick of the hypocrisy?

Solidarity with Owen Jones but not POC

Hearing the news Owen Jones has been targeted by fascists again. Whilst 3 of his attackers from another incident are awaiting sentencing, fascists started a hashtag on Twitter targeting the left leaning mouthpiece, for his sexuality among other things. Homophobia is wrong, fascists are always wrong, but this has a touch of the old schadenfreude for me.

Speaking as someone who has been victimised by fascists, for various strands of my identity, with little to no support resisting them, I’m a bit low on sympathy. When we, the ‘fringe lunatics’ were targeted, it suited everyone to ignore it, as though we didn’t exist. If anything, they, Owen Jones and his ilk, probably thought we deserved it. We were just as bad as the white supremacists, the hard left, for using bad language and assuming we had a part to play when we were nobody. If they thought their popularity would save them, they were wrong.

Solidarity isn’t difficult, it shouldn’t be a privilege afforded to those who have earned it (in a broken system), it isn’t something you should monetise or stratify on the basis of existing inequalities, benefiting those with power whilst those without are pushed further under the bus. I can’t think of anything more insulting in this struggle than to see a white man being hailed as a revolutionary for his resistance to white supremacists. What about the countless people of colour who’ve had their accounts suspended on Twitter, for daring to retaliate? There were no supportive hashtags for us, no outrage.

If anything, Owen is part of the problem. There is a select group of approved spokespeople who comply with the system, even when they are (allegedly) the opposition. They went to the same schools, they speak the same privileged language and they agree to keep the dialogue between themselves . When we challenged harmful attitudes on matters such as racial identity within (allegedly) left and liberal circles, they closed ranks. They had nothing to feel ashamed about or sorry for, we were the real bullies and oppressors. If they thought their whiteness or proximity to it would save them from oppressive white supremacy, they were wrong.

6 years ago I was attacked on public transport by a racist and the packed bus sided with him. My attackers were never brought to justice and the news barely caused a ripple on social media. Around the same time fascists targeted my online spaces so that I no longer have a Twitter or Facebook account. They led a sustained campaign of abuse stretching years because they haven’t been challenged by anyone with any power. Compare the reaction to the attack on Owen Jones, how quickly justice was served, and the swell of support on Twitter, resulting in a trending hashtag. If you’d like to understand how we have a fascist government in its 3rd term, you only need to look at the way we operate as a society, how we repeatedly victimise the most vulnerable and reward those who maintain the status quo. Owen silenced me once, many years ago and continued to ignore my tweets and appeals for solidarity, because it wasn’t his problem I guess. I said then this slippery slope to iniquity was in their hands, and they could change its course, and they ignored me. I don’t feel bad about being right in this instance, sometimes people have to to see and feel it for themselves to believe it exists.

I can’t say whether Owen has the wherewithal to approach this with the deference he should have employed all those years ago, but I can say for certain it will only get worse if he doesn’t. Owen isn’t a primary target/victim, but a cautionary tale for all white people who aren’t heterosexual, in peak fitness, on the right wing; if you tolerate this, then you’re definitely next.

RIP Jack Merritt

Jack was killed by a terrorist who was released on license having served half of his 16 year sentence.
(from Sky News)

If a father who is suffering the worst pain imaginable can still respect his son’s views and separate his personal feelings towards his son’s killer from the wider implications of legal reform, then everyone else can fall in line and respect his wishes.

Boris Johnson said he was heartbroken in reaction to the news some members of the public had succumbed to their injuries. I thought it was an odd choice of words, devastated perhaps, despairing even but heartbroken? One must be in possession of a heart for it to break. When we are heartbroken we do not have the energy to threaten punitive action, vengeance is the last thing on our minds. The heartbroken are defeated not emboldened. Johnson was inspired by this event and sprang into action, prompting many to consider this incident a false flag operation, especially given he was already known to security services and was being monitored.

How does a brown chap (considering the ways in which beige and brown people are frequently accosted in the street even when they’re minding their own business doing the shopping, for eg) with a bomb vest (nobody knew it was fake) and a knife taped to his hand manage to evade the cameras that are dotted every few yards in London (never mind London Bridge which is set up to withstand terrorist attacks with increased security; blast guards around the tube station, including additional CCTV)? He had an electronic tag which I presume means he was in constant contact with the probation service who would surely have noticed a change in his behaviour? There are too many holes in this story.

David Merritt’s words are particularly poignant because he has proved himself to be a man of principal, who cannot be swayed even when it personally impacts on him. He is a true hero who thinks about others, even to his own detriment. His son was a credit to him and I share a small part of his pain, to lose someone who was intrinsically good and protected the underdog (in his dad’s own words) in a world where such qualities are in short supply is a tragedy, and I grieve for him.

RIP Jack Merritt, thank you for all that you did.

Justice Can’t Be Blind and Racist

(CN – discussion of suicide)

Last month a Boston student was indicted on an involuntary manslaughter charge after prosecutors revealed she had sent 47000 messages encouraging her boyfriend to kill himself in the couple of months leading up to his death. Inyoung You was said to have isolated Alexander Urtula from his family and it is alleged she was aware of the depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse. There was a similar case in 2017 when a Massachusetts woman was indicted for the involuntary manslaughter of her boyfriend after he died following texts and emails in which she told him to kill himself. For some inexplicable reason the district attorney acknowledged the level of control You had over Urtula wasn’t as significant as the perp in the other case but how they came to this conclusion remains to be seen (in light of all the evidence to the contrary).

This case has drawn my attention because it suggests precedence in the US regarding inducement to suicide for offenders who directly or indirectly contribute to the death of vulnerable individuals. It is interesting because in both cases the perpetrators were women, a fact we have to recognise in the greater context of criminal justice and sex discrimination (and the subject at hand) and how women (especially woc) are disproportionately criminalised.

It has been 6 years since I started receiving death threats including instructions to kill myself, in fact at one point Kiwi Farms ran a poll to predict my most likely outcomes, with suicide receiving the most votes. Kiwi Farms administrator Joshua Moon takes great joy in targeting vulnerable individuals who are already known to mental health services for a variety of reasons, myself included. I have complex post traumatic stress disorder from a lifetime of abuse, I had faced death at least twice before I was targeted en masse by Nazi incels keen to finish me off and take all the credit.

I almost obliged them at the beginning of this year when, unable to defend myself on social media against nazis alleging that I was a self proclaimed paedophile, having been maliciously reported and suspended and resigned to victimhood by the authorities who disregarded the threats to kill and rape me, I gave up and spiraled the furthest I ever have. It was like a fever had taken hold of me and it was in control and I could only watch from the outside; perhaps it was the only answer, perhaps then I didn’t have to be afraid anymore.

I got lucky, I have people who genuinely care. It took some months but I was myself again. Far from the white supremacist echo chamber that is Twitter I healed a little and doubled down in my efforts to make Moon accountable.

Sadly there were others who succumbed:

Kiwi Farms had about 200 webpages bullying a teenaged girl named Julie Terryberry and she killed herself. Kiwi Farms is proud of causing this suicide and brags about it.

A second Kiwi Farms victim named Chloe Sagal self immolated after being relentlessly cyberbullied on Kiwi Farms:

A third victim by the name of Chance Carmichael killed himself following a campaign of abuse. Kiwi Farms celebrated this suicide.

Nicholas McCrary was the fourth person to be goaded to suicide by Kiwi Farms and they celebrated his death too.

The fifth and final victim (for now) was a young YouTube star by the name of Desmond Amofah aka Etika.

Kiwi Farms have a kill count on their forum, they have expressed intention to cause as many suicides as possible and yet they have not received anywhere near the attention a young Korean woman has, for potentially causing the involuntary death of another person (fwiw I believe she is culpable but there must be parity).

What is American justice, if not the centuries old racist and sexist endeavour it always has been? Shame on Lady Liberty.

Speaking Partial Truth To Power

There has been a slight surge in traffic to this blog in the last couple of days, specifically with regards to my many Twitter suspensions. A cursory glance at the news joined the dots for me; Twitter had suspended Ralf Little for spreading disinformation but the blue ticks kicked off and he was reinstated 4 hours later. Oh, how the other half live.

I read back some of my posts and away from the cesspit that is Twitter and perhaps slightly rejuvenated in the absence of all those monsters, and as a result, more centered, I felt differently about the things I’d said (although I have no regrets). In this post, my offending tweet is altogether awful, without context, it makes me cringe and yet I wrote it with the best of intentions. I wanted my attackers to see what it felt like to be targeted themselves and in exactly the same way. This is just how I deal with the world around me, when a dog bit me once, I bit it right back. As a child victim of violence I was barely 10 the first time I retaliated. It was empowering and made me a survivor.

What people took away from my activism was that it was actually I who was the real racist, because unconscious bias minimises attacks against me but amplifies my retaliations and in the case of Twitter, helps maintain existing inequalities with its inconsistent guidelines, no doubt moderated by chan styled white supremacist incels. Ralf thinks it’s a bit conspiracy nut to assume someone might have maliciously locked him out of his account to protect coercive power but I disagree, this is and has always been Twitter’s M.O, they just didn’t care when it happened to us.

Twitter doesn’t care about what’s fair and right, it has always been skewed in favour of power. The more power you have the longer it takes for this to become apparent. Ralf Little has a lot more power than I do. When I was at my most vocal 6 years ago Ralf and Co were directly opposed to what we were asking. I don’t mean to single Ralf out, but consider James O’Brien’s impassioned plea on his behalf. He would NEVER do this for someone who wasn’t white and immensely privileged, he would just assume we deserved it. This is the same James O Brien who revoked his sympathy for Grenfell residents as they worked their way through the Kubler Ross model.

You can’t be shocked at this stage, fellas, this is a world of your making. You thought we were liars and fantasists and trouble makers and attention seekers but never once a comrade worthy of empathy. We challenged YOUR power, because we know it has enabled fascism in the past, the mainstream media is a tool for the establishment to normalise bigotry and encourage violence and it worked. Now we’ve reached the inevitable conclusion and people are shocked and filled with unease? Shame you didn’t feel that way in 2013.

“Free speech!” they all cried as a justification for their bigoted views yet turned their backs when our speech was curbed.

They came for us first, never forget that, and you said we were stupid and wrong. What’s your excuse?

Tim Walker MP Has Proved His Humanity

When Nigel Farage revealed his fascist party would not be challenging any of the Tory’s seats it was as though a line had been drawn in the sand, placing all of the fascists both in and out of parliament firmly on one side. This was an unwelcome development when I had laughed just days earlier at Boris Johnson’s response to Trump and Farage’s proposal they form a pact to push Brexit through. He said no, which was actually quite surprising but it seems as though Farage just won’t be deterred.

It was heartwarming then, to see Tim Walker the Liberal Democrat candidate for Canterbury announce he would be stepping aside because he did not want to split the Remain vote. Reassuring is also how I would describe it, because it seems as though he has an accurate grasp of the political climate and isn’t so arrogant to assume his party has any chance of competing with Labour. He has realised party politics is second to the potentially catastrophic effects of a fascist run brexit and his conscience is literally not letting him sleep at night. Ironically I want him to be an MP because he is not ruled by his ego but his humanity. He knows that Jeremy Corbyn is essentially a decent man and whilst he would not vote for him, he could live under his rule. He has chosen humanity over more of the same divisive and life threatening policies inflicted on the British people by the Tories and their radically entitled counterparts UKIP and co. He could not live under a fascist leadership and so took a stand. He chose love not hate and he will probably sleep more soundly for it. I wish him the sweetest and most pleasant of dreams and send my best to him and his loved ones.

Sadly we cannot trust the Liberal Democrats as a party. Following Tim’s news they released a statement suggesting they would field a candidate against Rosie Duffield because power is more important to these weasels. They actively want a hung parliament because they know they have no other chance of being voted in, it’s what they do best, pretending to stand for something, proving time and time again they’re just Tories who expect a thank you. Do people still not understand what is at stake here? I guess when you’re not personally affected by austerity or fascism, there’s no drive to prevent it.

How you vote in this election will define you for the rest of your life. it will have an effect on your children and your grandchildren; from healthcare to early years provision, consequences for tax dodging billionaires and free education for all, these policies will impact on each and every one of us. Aren’t you done with austerity and the deluge of hate that hasn’t let up at all?

Tell the Lib Dems you care for more than just Brexit, that’s just one of our many problems. What happens when they’ve achieved Remain, if they do at all with their shoddy election promises?

Vote for peace. Vote for equity and equality. Or instead vote for more death.

This decision DEFINES you.

(PS: It must be very comforting for people who have political theory to fall back on, and a comfortable job they got because of their elite education, which affords them the time to sit around reading books and judging people who have nothing, for daring to vote at all. If you can seriously hold on to your radical principles at a time when most people are mobilised and ready to vote because their very lives depend on it, I’d suggest you take a long hard look at your privilege and accept you’re just not desperate enough to do whatever it takes.)

Asian Grooming Gangs Were A Cover Up For Endemic Sex Abuse In The UK

Imagine if the mainstream media actually cared about sex abuse instead of using it to deflect attention away from white sex abusers. They might join the dots to give us an accurate assessment of the extent to which we are in trouble.

From releasing the most depraved of sex abusers (as though you can rehabilitate these monsters and so quickly) to the minimisation of crimes committed by people in authority, we are fighting a losing battle with coercive power.

George was sentenced for her part in the 2009 Plymouth grooming gang case.
Despite the damning evidence (see next image) this rapist was cleared of rape
If this isn’t evidence, then what is?

He’s not the only rapist with a get out of jail free card.

An honourable and disciplined man were it not for the 3000 images of toddler sex abuse.

Any decent person would balk at these comments. I don’t give a fuck if he’s polite and good at his job, he is aroused by violence against children! What a sick justice system we have, where all Asians can be held to account for a minority of perpetrators and yet white sex abusers of babies get a commendation from officials charged with upholding the law.

I wonder how this perp’s trial will go down.

Is it a condition for public office in some circles, to join a paedophile ring? There seems to be a heavy correlation between people drawn to political office and sex abuse of minors. See next image.
Faces the boot but nothing has been decided..

Like this Cambridge egghead, they’ll let him back in when everyone moves on to the next thing.

I dread to think this is happening all over the UK, where there appears to have been a resolution only for authorities to backtrack once enough time has passed.

This former Royal Ballet star obviously doesn’t have the connections you need to wriggle out of sex charges.

Nor this working class offender.

To clarify, I’m not sad they’ve been brought to justice, merely pointing out what sets these perps apart from the ones who walk away scot free

The chap below was given a 10 month jail term suspended for two years after he convinced the judge he’d suffered enough being estranged from his wife and two daughters. Must have friends in high places, with his £8 million family engineering business.

And this barrister, a 24 month community order for upskirting. A former government lawyer trusted to observe and uphold the law caught breaking it in such an appalling way, shouldn’t he have been made an example of? If he was black or brown you bet he would have been.

From lawyers to cops, the authorities are littered with men and women who violate the law with impunity. I can’t think of a worse time to be a female cop, when the MeToo movement is so prolific and yet conviction rates for sex abuse are at an all time low.

To be so brazen, so carefree, even in these times, is frankly frightening.

Sex abusers have ramped up the violence in recent years because they have witnessed the consequences i.e there are none (unless you’re Asian or in some other way marginalised as opposed to privileged).

Even more disturbing is the number of female offenders actually making the news. I’m yet to find one who isn’t white but I am actively looking.

Seems children aren’t safe anywhere. Not even in nursery.

The accused is male but most nursery staff are female and this isn’t the first time small children have been targeted in a pre school environment. Nowhere is safe until we start having a frank discussion about the profiling of sex offenders in the UK.

We need to acknowledge the entitlement that informs the actions of sex abusers and how we treat survivors. When MPs like Nigel Evans are acquitted despite testimonies from multiple victims it leaves me feeling hopeless for other victims in similar circumstances.

In a country where violence against animals is on the increase, we can only expect more violence against women and children.

You can judge a country for the way it treats its most vulnerable.

Do we have to seek our own justice? Reading this gave me a sense of peace.

Ditto this one.

Releasing sex abusers, when they cannot be rehabilitated, is like throwing a ticking time bomb into the community, it is only a matter of time before they offend again. This evil pos sexually assaulted a 5 year old girl in front of her shocked mother on the train home right after he was released.

He got 26 months for the latest assault so we’ll just have to wait and see what he does next time he’s released

We cannot trust the authorities, they have led us on a wild goose chase that has promoted violence against an ethnic group (and enabled further abuser of marginalised women and children) rather than admit the truth which is Britain is heaving with vile sex offenders, from Mountbatten to Prince Andrew and the media and political heavyweights. We can go along with this narrative and hope our own children are never targeted but there are no guarantees.

What we do now will have repercussions through history.