Politics

RIP Jack Merritt

Jack was killed by a terrorist who was released on license having served half of his 16 year sentence.
(from Sky News)

If a father who is suffering the worst pain imaginable can still respect his son’s views and separate his personal feelings towards his son’s killer from the wider implications of legal reform, then everyone else can fall in line and respect his wishes.

Boris Johnson said he was heartbroken in reaction to the news some members of the public had succumbed to their injuries. I thought it was an odd choice of words, devastated perhaps, despairing even but heartbroken? One must be in possession of a heart for it to break. When we are heartbroken we do not have the energy to threaten punitive action, vengeance is the last thing on our minds. The heartbroken are defeated not emboldened. Johnson was inspired by this event and sprang into action, prompting many to consider this incident a false flag operation, especially given he was already known to security services and was being monitored.

How does a brown chap (considering the ways in which beige and brown people are frequently accosted in the street even when they’re minding their own business doing the shopping, for eg) with a bomb vest (nobody knew it was fake) and a knife taped to his hand manage to evade the cameras that are dotted every few yards in London (never mind London Bridge which is set up to withstand terrorist attacks with increased security; blast guards around the tube station, including additional CCTV)? He had an electronic tag which I presume means he was in constant contact with the probation service who would surely have noticed a change in his behaviour? There are too many holes in this story.

David Merritt’s words are particularly poignant because he has proved himself to be a man of principal, who cannot be swayed even when it personally impacts on him. He is a true hero who thinks about others, even to his own detriment. His son was a credit to him and I share a small part of his pain, to lose someone who was intrinsically good and protected the underdog (in his dad’s own words) in a world where such qualities are in short supply is a tragedy, and I grieve for him.

RIP Jack Merritt, thank you for all that you did.

Vote for Your Lives

The announcement of an early election has hit me in waves of wildly differing emotions; apprehension, annoyance, excitement, fear, swinging from one end all the way over to the other as new things occur to me. This is a pivotal moment in British history and what happens now will define us for the rest of human existence, which sadly isn’t forever but might still be a fair while.

The country is at its most polarised and when all this has blown up and settled again, the ushers must be held to account. It seems as though whatever happens there will be blood, racial purists are too tightly wound to let it go. In all fairness it’s not like we haven’t had ample time to prepare minority communities or make the perpetrators aware of consequences, we just haven’t made the effort.

We are all complicit, for the times we turned a blind eye, and pretended it had nothing to do with us. I’m not a saint, I was almost 30 before I decided I could no longer play the game, and actively started to challenge inequality, even though I had been a community worker for years. To be a feminist, I had to ignore the class and racial divides that informed the framework under which we worked, the kyriarchy that places white women as saviours and white men as their co-conspirators, even in women’s services. I had to challenge the ‘friends’ or casual racists and misogynists who refused to accept they were part of the problem. It meant turning my back on school friends and even members of my family and starting again, making a promise to myself to be radically honest, especially when it is not in my best interests, because that is when we are most easily swayed.

It could have been so easy for me, I’m an ‘other’ but in the exotic, interesting, could be from anywhere sense, and presenting as ultra feminine, I’m not a threat. All I had to do was keep my head down and laugh at all their racist jokes, and I, personally, would have been ok. Except that’s only how it works in the small pockets of rainy fascist island where multiculturalism has won the day (in the doomed words of Scummy Bundle) and the rest of the UK is actually a hotbed of white fascist nationalism stuck in a time warp when Britons ruled the waves. They hate foreigners and they will prove it.

It’s no longer about being politically left or right, the spectrum is a hot mess. It comes down to voting for more racism, more misogyny, genocide even, or not. To vote Tory is to vote for social cleansing, nothing less. A vote for the Lib Dems isn’t much better, their current leader is more Tory than some of their card carrying members and anyone with a memory and a healthy grudge will not forget their fascist appeasing history, from their failed student fees pledges to their complicity in austerity measures.

A vote for any other party other than Labour is a final nail in the coffin for the poor, the disabled, the marginalised and oppressed. We are all one accident or illness away from disability, we cannot say for certain we will never seek asylum in this rapidly changing climate, and health care is an inalienable human right. The rich did not make their riches, they inherited them from tyrants and thieves who held the world to ransom, leaving rivers of blood in their wake. That wealth never trickled down, the chasm between the richest people in the UK and the poorest has never been wider. White supremacy has ensured the upper classes never get their comeuppance for their subjugation of white working classes, not whilst people of colour and other minorities act as a buffer between the two.

This election has the power to change entire nations and bring in a dawn to a new era. We could begin 2020 with a renewed sense of hope and love for this world we occupy together. With a leadership focused on humanity and what we have more in common than that which divides, we can really thrive. We can revive our beloved NHS, bring wages in line with the cost of living, make the tax dodging multi nationals pay or fuck off. We can start healing the rifts in communities, exploited by fascist governments and media conglomerates.

We can start healing the world by leading by example.

Bulgaria 1 – 0 England

I’ve been keeping an eye on the news regarding the investigation of racist Bulgarian football fans and how it has progressed quite swiftly compared to other areas of public life. In the past I have asked why the FA hasn’t done more to combat racism and judged fans for wanting to be part of something that is so tolerant of racist abuse, in particular the way John Terry was found not guilty of a racist offence even though he admitted saying “black fucking bastard”, among other things. The FA still chose to remove his captaincy, which suggests they took a harsher view than the courts but then the England manager Fabio Capello resigned in protest so it was all a bit of a confusing mess.


If it sounds as though I care about football, I don’t. Can’t stand it, can’t stand the hype and the way fans express themselves, or the fact that domestic abuse peaks when there’s a big match on. The entire culture breeds toxic masculinity, and it has always been my experience; whenever I’ve unwittingly walked into a train full of pissed up louts egging each other on to be even more obnoxious, I am renewed in my hatred for the shit show. I detest its power and how mired it is in capitalism, but that’s a grumble for another day. I have never been a football fan and I am proud of this.

Over the past week however, I have watched in awe at every little twist and turn in this saga, from the moment the match was halted to the statement given by the Bulgarian captain in which he expressed his embarrassment, and the resignations, notably the Bulgarian football chief Borislav Mihaylov who had dismissed England’s concerns over racist fans prior to the match as being “groundless” and “offensive” (as many of our own card carrying fascists have done this past decade). Following the match the Bulgarian prime minister called for his resignation and he obliged only days later. Compare the way this has been handled, not only in the football associations but as a nation, from the politicians to the men on the pitch and how woefully short Britain falls of this example. It’s a bit rich of England bosses to express concerns over racist Bulgarian fans whilst the entire nation waits with baited breath to learn of our post Brexit fates. It’s a stretch to position English fans and players as an authority on racism and to make demands of other nations to comply with a set of standards we struggle to achieve ourselves, in any section of society on rainy fascist island. Hypocrisy is something we excel at here.


I surprised myself with my reactions to the rolling news, at first I was understandably outraged and then resigned to this shitehole of a world but then the Bulgarian authorities responded in a way I had not anticipated. I can’t remember the last time a public figure was made to suffer consequences for their bigotry. Consider the apologism meted out in defence of Alan Sugar or Jeremy Clarkson. The numerous examples of serving members of parliament using actual racial slurs only to be excused for their ignorance because they “didn’t mean it in that way” never mind the piccaninnies, watermelon smiles and hijabs as letterboxes jibes from our current prime minister.

Never forget the torture inflicted on the very people who built this country up when it was on its knees following the war. They were always British citizens, descended from a British colony they were forced on to as slaves against their will, of course they didn’t need the paperwork to prove they belonged here. Their children, born on British soil, registered with British birth certificates couldn’t prove they had leave to remain either. So many deported to their deaths, because they were British not Jamaican and easily picked out in a crowd as a soft touch, presumed to be worth something hailing from Britain, mugged for the shirts on their backs, murdered in the scuffle. A Windrush child – a man easily in his 50s but possibly much older – told me recently so many of them had been disappeared, and who could begin to bring about justice for them? He said he was leaving it to his sister to apply for compensation, he couldn’t face it himself. Why isn’t Theresa May and the rest of her murdering cabinet rotting in their cells at The Hague? Why has the British media and government been allowed to construct a narrative that denies the daily racism visible minorities have to navigate as par the course, instead choosing to focus on the prejudice faced by one minority group, dominated by rich and privileged Europeans who claim black and brown people are being racist to them (and that’s why socialism is a bad idea)? You never see black and brown Jews in the mainstream media, why is that? Cos they exist, and need support too.

Football can do all it wants to stamp our racism in its ranks but it’s pointless if the rest of society resists. British football, British politics, British media should lead by example instead of waving fingers and micro-managing other nations. I would insert a quote here about being the change you wish to see in the world but it sprang from the mouth of a racist (be wary of minorities lauded by The West, there’s always a fucked up back story).

I have revised my demands of football; it can only exclude racists from matches but can’t really change the world, not when it hasn’t changed from within.

Sneaky Fascism is The Worst

On a walk recently with my dog I walked past some graffiti that made me stop and look back, because I felt like it had negative connotations, even though I could not remember exactly what. I took a picture and spent hours trawling through google, sending it to my friends, some of them seasoned anti-fascists. Nobody could place it and some even suggested it might be just a tag. I eventually found its origins and felt sick at what I discovered.


This symbol represents Wolfsangel SS, a division of the SS and it depicts a wolf trap. It was used by the Nazis in world war 2. It is not so easily recognised as the swastika and this is a tactic used by cowardly Nazis, to pick something so obscure so only they know its true meaning, whilst they operate in plain site.


On my next visit to the park I showed the image to as many dog walkers as I could, to inform them of its sinister roots. One person said they had no idea that it was so scary, they’d assumed it was just a 4 attached to a 7, and they’d seen it dotted around all over the area. I advised they carry a marker or similar with them on their visits, to cover it up and they agreed.


I was at the park again today, telling another regular about it when they asked me if I’d seen the news about the gun discovered in our park. Apparently it was a Luger, a German weapon used by the ‘German Empire’.. like, what the actual fuck. To make matters worse, it was loaded. A member of our community reported it. The West Midlands Police report seems to tie it in with regular gun crime, not far right white supremacist extremism, which leads me to question whether they’re being wilfully obtuse (they’re not exactly a shining example of race relations in the community) or just dense, having not connected the dots between Nazi paraphernalia and their apparent presence in the area.


I thought it would be enough to cover their symbols up in passive resistance but I’m not so sure now. We need an antifascist front actively manning the park and surrounding areas, an organised resistance, an antifa neighbourhood watch. The park lies on an area of land that is bordered by racially segregated communities, but also divided by class. On one side there is the white working class, or as locals call it ‘the co-op end’, on another, a fairly affluent white middle class, but there is also the ethnic side, Muslims, South Asians, Arabs and Irish.. if there were ever a race war, it would be quick and bloody, with little chance for escape.


I would like to ask all anti-fascists (or people opposed to fascism) to renew their local links and make themselves a force to be reckoned with. Nazis only bluster about for as long as we let them, they’re mostly cowards at heart who take their cues from fascists in the state and media, which is why they were silent for the most part during my childhood. I was born and raised here and asides from the NF making themselves a nuisance during the 80s, I was blissfully unaware of the contempt a significant number of white people have for other ethnicities in this country.


If things are this bleak in an area known for its progressive culture and community I dread to think what it must be like in the scarier parts of town. It makes me want to leave the house even less than I already do. We have to make ourselves safe, we cannot rely on the authorities or they’d have nipped the nazi problem in the bud when it was still masquerading as ethics in gaming.

What did the Muslims ever do for us?

In the course of human history empires are a relatively new phenomenon, spanning only the last 3000 years or so. From the ancients to modern day Britain, empires are born out of violence and domination, spurred on by greedy men with a desire to rule over the earth and all its inhabitants. Empires control resources and dictate cultures. It is for this reason we must acknowledge all empires, for the duration of their rule, if we are to gain an accurate assessment of human development, in the interests of provenance and posterity.


Take the Moors for example. Neglected in the history books for the most part, owing to the Europeans penning said tomes, their contribution to humanity has been effectively erased or minimised because it stands in direct contradiction to the white supremacist’s creed; that savages were to be civilised from the depths of their spiritual ignorance. They burned books, and monuments of cultural significance, much like Isis did in Palmyra, to the shock and dismay of enlightened Europeans who condemned this destruction of world heritage. I wonder whether the world had reacted to similarly to the barbarism of the conquistadors, or if it had in fact reveled in the bloodshed, as it does today whenever there is a terrorist attack committed against Muslims. I imagine they came out with the same excuses then as they did now “Europe for Europeans!” regardless of the rivers of blood trailing down from the bodies of innocents whose only crime was to pray to the one true God via their own cultural lens. The genocide of the Moors was as much about the colour of their skin, if not more, than it was about a Christian God, as we can see in the blackface festivals celebrated by prevaricating bigots from Spain and Britain to the Netherlands.

 The reins of their (Moors) horses were as fire, their faces black as pitch, their eyes shone like burning candles, their horses were swift as leopards and the riders fiercer than a wolf in a sheepfold at night . . . The noble Goths [the German rulers of Spain to whom Roderick belonged] were broken in an hour, quicker than tongue can tell. Oh luckless Spain!

Quoted in Edward Scobie, The Moors and Portugal’s Global Expansion, in Golden Age of the Moor, ed Ivan Van Sertima, US, Transaction Publishers, 1992, p.336

Sure, the Moors were probably a frightening spectacle when they invaded Spain in the 8th century but as is the way of empires, wealth and security leads to knowledge, and peace, and eventually empathetic non violence. Empires reach their end when the leaders peak in terms of civility, unprepared for savage invading forces, unable to defend themselves against the onslaught of rabid violence. Perhaps this is why Britain can never just sit back and relax, always pre-emptively asserting itself with made up wars.

The world has chosen to focus on the demise of the Moors as a natural conclusion to the decree ordained by the lord almighty. They had provoked God’s wrath with their salacious ways and fallen out of favour. It is this notion that has sustained the skewed version of history from both sides of the conflict. Europe has effectively slut shamed Muslims into submission who cannot respond with a clear conscience because they bought into the propaganda (having suffered such a humiliating defeat) and now conduct themselves with the same terror inspiring zeal of medieval Christian soliders, whom God allegedly favoured, to appease Him.

Without the Moors, there would be no ‘Spanish’ guitar (guitarra morisca). This is what we mean by appropriation; the Moors are not celebrated like the British or Romans or Greeks, despite their many contributions in the advancement of humanity, they have been denied their historical dues by usurping Europeans who took all the credit. Moors pioneered many medical treatments, identifying hemophilia as a condition, inventing anesthesia for the purpose of surgery, and treating hydrocephalus for example. Groundbreaking and lifesaving methods such as how to perform a ligature were first documented in Al Andalus.

The Moors invented watches, a fact all Europeans should remember when they tell the time, especially given they also invented the first sundial to show time in equal measures where previous models varied according to the seasons. Where would we be without this vital innovation? If the Moors had never existed newspapers/books might never have been a thing. They invented a printing device 100 years prior to the ‘invention’ of the printing press. Ibn Firnas invented the metronome in the 9th century, during a time the Europeans referred to as ‘the dark ages’. Where would the human race be without any of these black and brown Muslim visionaries, for whom the dark ages meant a golden age?

My own ancestors, the Mughals, were a creative trailblazing peoples I am determined to resurrect. The first sugar rolling mills appeared during the Mughal empire. They invented the first hookah or water pipe, for the purpose of smoking tobacco. According to Wikipedia modern metallurgists “thought it was technically impossible to produce metal globes without any seams” until they were rediscovered in the 1980s, 20 or so seamless celestial globes created during the Mughal empire. I learned very recently that my ancestors had built Lahore fort and Badshahi mosque, not forgetting the Taj Mahal. Ah, that universal symbol of devotion, a wonder of the world, steeped in Mughal history yet neglected for that very fact, denied the care and attention that should be afforded to a world heritage site. India hates Muslims, it is quick to condemn and even kill them, for eating beef, among other things and stripping citizenship from millions yet it reaps the world’s praises for the creation of something it had nothing to do with. The Indian government has let it rot. The Taj Mahal is a painful reminder of the erasure and appropriation of Muslim ingenuity, pinned together by enemies of enemies, whose party line is a collective resistance to the creeping shariah of Islam, despite their own grievances and in-fighting. These relics are stripped of their roots, co-opted by coercive powers and serve as a reminder of how we (Muslims) have been subjugated.

I’ve never liked being a part of a group, I can only be myself one to one. I think group behaviour is terrifying. When groups of likeminded people band together, it no longer matters whether something is right or wrong, the majority has the power to claim up is down. I’ve seen adulterous affairs justified in this way, and sex abuse cover ups. I’ve been groomed in this way, isolated, misrepresented, because I wouldn’t toe the party line. A similar malfeasance has been inflicted on Muslims.

In my almost 40 years of experience on this earth I have learnt the difference between what they say and what they really mean. Christians invading India were shocked at the inhumane practice of sati committed by fanatical Hindus, whereupon the female spouse jumps, or is thrown, onto the funeral pyre, because she cannot exist without her husband. They condemned them as idolaters and savages and appealed to Muslim Indians as they (rightly) believed in the one true God. To the Hindus they condemned the Mughals as occupiers and destroyers of Hindustan, a country for Hindus. In this way they divided and conquered and continue to do so to this very day. Far right Hindutva and their mascot Modi brutalise millions in their quest for a Hindu state, supported by western nations who look the other way when Muslims are being slaughtered, see also the Rohingya in Burma being summarily executed by Buddhist monks (ffs) for an example of one modern day atrocity. Religion of peace they scoff, when mocking Muslims yet Buddhists extinguishing life in cruel and unusual ways has escaped everyone’s attentions. See the Israel/Palestine conflict for another example of white supremacist divide and conquer, effectively polarising Muslims and Jews who have historically fought together against the scourge of Christianity (see Moorish Spain).

Tyrants all over the world look to the British empire for inspiration. Hitler himself was an admirer of the British rule in India, it was what prompted him to enact his own genocide. The holocaust is widely taught and accepted for the most part, because the teachers are white supremacists who exemplify divide and conquer of ‘minorities’ and use it as a tool to silence other ethnic groups. When an African person speaks of King Leopold and his slaughter of 10 million Congolese and questions why this isn’t taught in schools like the holocaust is, they are not denying Jewish history or cheapening it by comparing it (as I was once accused when I warned that current events were a catalyst to holocaust levels of genocide) they are appealing for consistency. When I highlighted the similarities between the targeting of Jews in Germany and modern day Muslims in Britain I was chastised for daring to compare. 11 million Indians were starved to death by Churchill who redirected grain to British forces during the war. Was this not a holocaust too? Not when the history book writers are white, evidently.

In a world where white supremacy holds all the power and writes the narratives, a maleficence of biblical proportions has been committed against believers of the one true God. Christians have employed idolaters to act as their proxies, to protect their global interests, and will shun them when they are no longer effective. Historical allies have been pitted against one another and the flames are fanned periodically to ensure their estrangement. Muslims are caricaturised as uncivilised, barbaric, wanton in their misogyny and to be fair, many of them are, but they weren’t always like this, they weren’t always so broken and reactionary, they were made that way by Christians.

Perhaps if we acknowledged the real truth, the many contributions made by Muslims to the sciences and arts, and the pursuit of pleasure with inventions like chess, poker, and alcohol (how many words do you know prefixed with ‘al’?) such inventions that changed the course for humanity and propelled Europeans to their ‘enlightenment’, Muslims might not be so angry or even perceived as such. Europeans weren’t beamed down to earth by God as naive fledgling angels innocent of all crimes and wrongdoing, hitting every branch of the enlightenment tree on the way down, no, they appropriated the hard work of Muslims and denied the historical truth, leaving those famed rivers of blood in their wake.

The transference of white supremacists must be called out for what it is, the fear of a comeuppance, of the chickens coming home to roost. They keep the conflict alive.

The Muslim Empires They Tried To Deny Ever Existed

I can’t remember exactly how old I was when I first started questioning my place in the world but I was very young, still in infant school, not yet a personality in my own right. I remember I still believed in Santa Claus and Christmas was an event that I was very much a part of, from the towering twinkling tree in the school assembly hall to the black bin sacks brimming with toys on Christmas morning. I accepted the nativity as fact, Mary and Joseph had plodded along with their heavy load and Jesus was born in a stable, and the festivities celebrating the day of his birth were meant for everyone. At this age I wasn’t too heavily indoctrinated in the faith ascribed to me by my family, they loved Christmas and celebrated it, coming together as a family but also extending kindness to our neighbours, sharing a box of quality street with the elderly white woman who lived next door, and cheerily welcoming everyone with the season’s greetings.


I wondered why we didn’t go to church. I was taken aback when I was corrected about the virgin Mary and how she was actually called Maryam and married to Yusuf. Isa hadn’t died for our sins but he would be returning. As I grew, in size, and as a person, I very quickly came to the conclusion that religion was a bit like Chinese whispers (or something less racist) and it seemed, to me at least, a way for people to claim they were better, more informed, superior even, compared to the people they didn’t like; for a bunch of other reasons usually, like the colour of their skin or the country they came from. I learned in RE that sometimes brown people were Christians, and sometimes white people were Muslims but I never came into contact with these outliers until I was much older. I was fascinated by history and learned about the Egyptians, albeit on a very basic level but it was enough to spark my interest in world history and how each empire shaped the world. I liked to read in my own time, checking books out at the library but I could never find anything remotely related to my ancestry. I was already in the process of hating myself, my folks, our clothes, and food and perhaps was desperate for something that would set us apart from the rest. We weren’t like all the others, I was adamant about this.


Children might not understand the reasons people are hostile but they certainly perceive it. I noted the aggression with which certain people responded to what seemed like perfectly reasonable and softly spoken requests, at the bank, or job centre, or store. White people who wouldn’t make eye contact and lacked manners. I noted the ways in which my folks ignored the harsh tones and doubled down in their apologism, always feeling slightly embarrassed for their intrusion – often achieving the results they were after, but at great cost to their sense of pride and well-being. They had accepted their lowly status, whatever the reasons for it were and I was acutely aware of how this would impact on my opportunities. I guess that’s when I started to dissociate, splitting my personality. I wasn’t about to bow and scrape for the bear minimum, I was going to assimilate.


I remember learning all about the Spanish inquisition at school but never was there ever a single mention of Muslims. A tremendous feat given they were the primary victims. Even Wikipedia says it was the rulers of Spain who asked the pope to drive out Jews who were pretending to be Christians, and that’s it. Jews were also being targeted but they lived in Al Andalus, Moorish Spain. No mention of the Islamic books and heritage they burnt, or how Islamic Spain had managed to create a peaceful state where Muslims and Jews lived peacefully alongside Christians until the rabid Catholicism of the day slaughtered entire villages, drowning and decapitating children in their beds, raping then stabbing Muslim women through the heart because any offspring would be spoiled. We learned all about the Romans, and Greeks, and the British empire yet nothing of the Moors, or the Mughals who ruled for many centuries and were such learned cultured peoples conducting themselves in genteel ignorance during the middle ages they had no way to anticipate the savage barbarism of cold and hungry Christians, raised by the rod and indiscriminately slaughtered by both state and neighbour alike (much like the East today).


Medieval Europe was a grim fucking stage for the origins of white power. By all accounts they reveled in torture. Ah yes, there was the Magna Carta (England) allegedly holding everything together, but I can bet more people know about it today than did back then. From the peasants to the clergy (who were all powerful) everyone was in it for themselves. If they hadn’t been so wretched they would never have won, in all fairness. To be devoid of humanity is the only true guarantor for success in the pursuit for world domination. You can’t love thy neighbour and feed the poor and be at all comfortable with coercive power and control. Yet this is what they did, the Christians. They lied and manipulated. They forcibly converted Muslims and Jews (the converts were referred to as Moriscos and Marranos, respectively) then killed them anyway. Nobody talks about this, or how Isis and the Taliban are a poor imitation of the conquistadors.


When you have no history you feel untethered, floating in the air with no clues as to where you’ll end up. I have a recurring dream in which I’m trying to get to places, one example being from that old primary school to my family home but I have to measure my stride and watch how I place my feet otherwise I bounce up into the sky, terrified at the velocity sometimes, which can throw me sideways, afraid I will come crashing back down and hurt myself or even die. My attempts at controlling my pace via lucid dreaming have yielded some results, some journeys have even been pleasant but I am not yet a master. I am convinced this is my brain trying to resolve deep rooted anxieties around identity and powerlessness over it. Sometimes I’ll panic because I’m wearing a skirt and no pants and if I don’t control the buoyancy effectively enough everyone on my street might get a flash of my lady parts. Other times I don’t care if they do. Once in a while my granddad is waiting on our porch and I’ll suddenly have to straighten myself out and stand very still, because he cannot know that I have this skill.


I felt as though we can’t have just transpired out of thin air, as a teen, and was determined to learn of my roots. I asked my grandparents, with whom I lived, who my great grandparents were and they gave the name of a great granddad on my granddad’s side and that was it. No great grandmas or great great grandparents. No lineage, no roots, no establishment. I wanted to know what we called the language we spoke at home because it didn’t sound like Punjabi to me. They replied Sikhs had a different dialect and that’s the difference I was hearing. Only, when I grew up, I met other Muslim Pakistanis who said they spoke Punjabi and they honestly did. I came to understand my ‘mother tongue’ is actually a lingua franca of sorts that enabled me to access at least 7 other South Asian languages, with its roots in Farsi. I had always managed to understand my South Asian friends whatever language they spoke at home but they rarely understood me. I had spent my life being told it was a cursed tongue, that it sounded dirty, and worthless, when it was actually a priceless tool. No wonder I found language so interesting, I had exceptional roots.

I registered the slight hesitance in my grandparents whenever I broached the subject of ancestry. They’d tense up. I thought they were embarrassed, especially when they snapped that it was enough. I reasoned it had to be a secret, whatever it was, otherwise they wouldn’t be so eager to change the subject. Perhaps we had been Hindus and this was a fact they had buried, because it was no longer of any use and they did not want to risk reversions.


It was many years later, long after both of theirs passing that I learnt the truth. Muslim history has been effectively erased in Europe. We don’t learn about it in schools, it is not spoken of much in pop culture, any allusions to it, like for example in The Spanish Princess, are post victory, when they are subjugated and at the behest of Catholic monarchs. Queen Isabella enacted a genocide on Spanish Muslims and her daughter Catherine of Aragon married Henry VIII. These moments in history that tie together the bigger picture, the union of these two countries for the sake of all Christiandom, Henry being a cornerstone of British history that is over taught in my opinion, from the many perspective of teams for and against the Tudor tyrant, and his many wives and their friends and foes; to so brazenly leave out the connection to how Europe was shaped by the sword and owes a debt to the world for its ignorant destruction of culture, is surely deliberate and intended to mislead. The Tudors weren’t just special because Henry was a literal ladykiller (what a thing to focus on though, how this country was spearheaded by a domestic abuser), the empire began with his devil spawn. Oh we all learnt about Walter Raleigh sending back spuds from the new world to flatter his queen but they left out the genocide of Native Americans on the curriculum. I guess it would lead to questions about other ethnic majorities on other continents, displaced and erased by the same people. I can see why, teaching a bunch of hormonally charged teenagers the reason they are here today is because you were there for 500+ years and you still haven’t left is asking for trouble. Kids tend to have a stronger sense of injustice than adults who’ve spent a lifetime lying to themselves about what is and isn’t virtuous.

A racist procession marking a time when the Moors ruled Spain (click image for more information) from the 8th century to the 15th yet Wikipedia refers to the Moors as ‘Muslim inhabitants’

Take sexual freedom as one example of the clash of civilisations in medieval Europe. Cold and hungry white Europeans hated sex. They believed it was a sin and a chore, even in marriage, where it was a method for procreation and not pleasure. Perversely a lot of their torture methods centred on the genitals, the pope even had a ‘pear’ for such purposes (google but nsfw). It is sexual freedom among other vices that was cited by Christians as a reason for their victory against the savage Mohammedans. Such lax attitudes concerning pleasures of the flesh had led to their fall from grace in God’s eyes and that is how they lost their empire. To this day, Muslims repeat this harmful life to justify their misogynous control over women and their attitudes towards sex in general. Sick of the way black and brown men/Muslims treat their women? But they learnt from the best. Muslims were making art about how sex was a gift from God before Christians turned that light out in them for good.

Published 15th Century

So what can we do about it now we know? For my part, I’d like to know more about who collected taxes and crops from my ancestors and our land, forcing them to bury grain so they wouldn’t starve. That chap’s descendants owe me and mine. As part of the decolonisation process, reparations are crucial to the healing process, to feeling grounded. Reparations come in lots of forms, acknowledging the histories they tried to erase is a good starting point. As a descendant of Mughals myself, I was only made aware very recently of my rich history. When there is denial and erasure even in families (because the ignominy of having it all and losing it, for not being pious enough, is too much to bear or acknowledge) it’s even harder to begin to unravel the chaos that ensured ten generations of trauma and toxic shame, the true legacy of the British Empire.

The Net is Closing In, and YouTube had better take notice

Joshua Conner Moon must be feeling the heat, in a week where dozens of potential shooters have been arrested before they can commit a crime, in the wake of the El Paso and Dayton shootings, victims of Moon and his Kiwi Farms forum have been advised to report their individual concerns to the FBI, in particular examples such as this one, which can be found here

Bizarrely, Moon says he has been accepted into the YouTube partner program which suggests he is being funded by them now. YouTube continues to ignore the growing tide of resistance to Nazi incels, particularly because of the known links between this type of offender and domestic abuse and terrorism. I personally reported Moon’s channels and videos for harassing me and encouraging violence against me, to no avail. Please report this channel to YouTube, if only so we have a ‘paper trail’ for the appropriate time.

At a time when other internet services are clamping down on this kind of criminal activity, for example here, Moon complains of search engines de-indexing him (thank you, DuckDuckGo ), it is mind boggling that YouTube would continue to support his brand of hateful violence. Moon is also being sued in the Supreme Court. Perhaps what we need is a class action lawsuit against YouTube?

Escambia County Police did a drive by of the house Moon used to live with his mother under cyber-stalking laws in violation of U.S. Code Section 2261 and found it empty with a key box out front as though the house were on sale. Moon himself purports to be hiding away in a basement in Russia but we think this is a blag. It is just a matter of time, as I said way back in 2014, when I first reported Moon and his ilk to the authorities for rape and death threats, and a question of finding non white supremacist law enforcers to uphold the law for justice to be done here. We’re closer than we’ve ever been and we’ve got the stamina and support to see this play out.

Someone owes us, big time. When the authorities do eventually catch up with him and there’s an audit, for all those who funded Moon, or gave him an out when big name vendors withdrew, there will be a bill, for the mental emotional and physical turmoil these Nazis and their sympathisers have inflicted on us. You carry on YouChoob, with your blatant disregard for laws protecting marginalised groups, you’ve the deepest pockets of them all.

UPDATE: Seems YouTube are doubling down on the white supremacist’s right to free speech over the lives of minorities. They have blood on their hands and must pay.