Law

Asian Woman Doesn’t Speak For Me

In 2010 I finally found the courage to turn my back on a toxic relationship I had suffered for 5 years. As an historic victim of child abuse with toxic internalised object relations, I had very little experience of healthy interaction within an intimate setting (my father was extremely abusive to my mother) I was hardwired to experience negative emotions in a positive light. My brain translated fear/anxiety into excitement. The very early interactions you have in a romantic relationship, unspoken even, determine whether you give someone a chance and if I’d been just like any other young woman in her 20s with a secure attachment to her early caregivers I would have given this man a wide berth. Unfortunately, I was not, and I was already in too deep the first time he revealed his true nature.

When people suggest victims of abuse could leave if it really was that bad, they are in fact suggesting they do not believe the victim. I tried, many times, to break it off, run as far as I could but abusers know you have nowhere to go, it is in fact one of the things that attracts them to you in the first place, not so much the neon sign on your forehead asking for trouble but the vulnerability we carry all around us, the sadness that seeps through and the need we have to fill all the empty spaces with love, whatever the cost. Estranged from my family, whom I’d fled to escape abuse, I found myself leaping out of the frying pan into the fryer, barely a year into the relationship, when he ‘put his foot down’ and decided he would no longer pander to me, because I had asked him to rinse the bath out after he was done.

Abusers know you have no recourse so they do what they like. They use your body, place their own thoughts and feelings in your brain, pushing yours into the furthest recesses where you can’t find them so easily, gaslighting you until you don’t know who you are anymore. You forget who you are, in a bid to keep them happy, because you know they’re capable of love and empathy, that’s how they draw you in, and you can’t help but wish it will be like that again someday. In the course of an abusive relationship a part of you dies forever. For what it’s worth I am glad that part of me is dead and buried, I was afforded the opportunity to be born again, in a sense. I am at peace with the fact my 20s were destroyed by this leech of a man who did not deserve me. One of the lasting memories I have, if only because of how ironic, is of various male friends of my exes crowing in disbelief he’d managed to score a girl like me. Of course, it was all done in the name of ‘banter’ and whilst I am not personally an advocate for jokes that make no one laugh but insult often vulnerable people, it did cheer me up and now I know they were telling the truth, which is probably why he used to get so upset back then and scream at them he had me cos he was worth it.

You might be wondering why I am bringing this reprobate up now, 7 years after I washed my hands of him. When feminists talk about domestic abuse in the context of gendered relationships, a binary set up, usually with one person in a traditionally male role and their partner female, this dynamic also being prevalent in homosexual relationships, we are keen to illustrate the difference in how this abuse is perpetrated because it matters. It matters in a society where opponents of feminism will accuse women of holding equal structural power and control and being just as likely to commit domestic abuse and get away with it. This is simply not true, gendered violence against women is encouraged in a patriarchal system. The penalties for gendered violence are poor, conviction rates abysmal and support is hard to come by. The rate for repeat offence is the highest in domestic abuse, compared to all other crimes. 76% of victims/survivors will endure further violence for daring to leave. There are many ways men continue to control women they believe to be their property, sometimes many years after the relationship broke down, directly but also indirectly, affecting your future relationships and career even.

This is where my ex Shihab Salim Joi creeps in. Despite his unacceptable behaviour during and shortly after our split, using gendered slurs against me, saying I was a slut for e.g. and good for nothing else he had the audacity to ask me for information regarding a book he was thinking of writing. He wanted to write about domestic abuse refuges and what could go wrong, and wanted to pick my brain for insider information. Obviously I said no. He promised me exposure, as though it was the magic word that would erase memories of him domestically abusing me (most of it was mental/financial/sexual but he thumped me a couple of times). I put *my* foot down and told him to get stuffed.

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A few years later, I was googling myself (at least I’m honest) when I saw a link to Asian Woman Magazine which confused me, I had written stuff for Asiana but that was when I was still dating the editor, Shihab Salim, his work for Asian Woman was definitely post-split, after he’d been made redundant as a victim of the credit crunch. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read what it said. Not only had someone used my name and job description from Asiana, I was the ‘agony aunt’ for a bit, they had given out the kind of advice an abuser would deem suitable. As a staunch feminist who hates most men I am hardly going to advise you pander to any manz fragile ego. If these shoddy little men can’t get a grip on their own toxic masculinity I would advise you kick their asses to the kerb and let them cry wank into the night, you are worth more than some man child who missed out on key developmental stages and really just wants you to be his mum. THIS is why I have written this post. When you google my name, or Shihab’s I want this link to show up too.

I contacted Issuu who said they cannot amend or delete any content without the publisher’s consent but the publisher/editor is as elusive as Wally, in that I can’t find her, even though her name is all over the internet. I can’t/won’t submit a DMCA request because copyright infringement would mean they used words I’d written without my consent and I want it noted I most definitely did not write the frankly, badly written frottage of an excuse for journalism published by J Wimal, clearly without editing, otherwise she would have known I wasn’t at all involved in Shihab’s shameless display of male entitlement and indirect harassment.

It has been 7 years and I am still having to deal with this man turd and his attempts to control my opportunities. This is why women don’t leave. We’re afraid they’ll carry out threats to destroy us, our reputations (as it is in my case), or even our lives, the 52 women murdered by their intimate partners every year a testament to this, for daring to think of themselves for a change, for saying enough is enough.

UPDATE: Issuu have quarantined the offending article as the publisher appears to have deleted their details from the Issuu database. Thank you to Jonas at Issuu for taking my concerns on board.

ANOTHER UPDATE: I will never cease to be amazed at the lies people tell, even when you have evidence to the contrary. What is going on in that tiny little brain of yours Shihab? Is it perhaps a barely veiled threat to out me, giving the name on my passport without my permission (kinda your MO), as though you can scare me into a corner in defense of my anonymity? You were one of the people who convinced me to change my name! You said you wouldn’t employ anyone who sounded like they might wear a hijab and suggested I include a photo of myself with my CV.

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That’s really odd, because if you really are telling the truth here that’d mean you also used my image without my permission.

It behooves you to tell the truth as it happened, Shihab, lies always have a way of unraveling themselves.

Poor Shihab, leaving a trail of angry ex girlfriends in his wake, when he is just a kind and decent sort. I’m not the first to say he’s an abuser, and I won’t be the last. I have plenty more evidence should anyone require it. You won’t take me to court because you’ll lose. Just saying.

Remember the Holocaust, punch Nazis

Today marks the 17th Holocaust Memorial Commemoration Day. It reminds us of the date the Nazi concentration camp Auschwitz was liberated by the soviet union in 1945. We also remember the victims of subsequent genocides; Bosnia, Rwanda, Darfur. It comes as a timely reminder of just how close we are yet again to experiencing a similar fate, if certain forces are allowed to continue spreading hateful propaganda.

With so many genocides behind us, you’d think we’d know by now how to prevent one. It seems easy enough to me, failed states look for scapegoats; whether Jews, Muslims, trans, disabled or LGBT, already marginalised groups are easy targets, because they have no way of defending themselves against a system that begrudgingly allows them to exist.

It seems obvious to anyone who is willing to sign their name to the truth; neo Nazism has risen off the back of a white supremacist agenda, promulgated by people/organisations we thought we could trust (like the BBC). The instinct to protect humanity is chipped away at by the state and media, gradually, drip feeding the message that all of society’s ills can be attributed to this group, unlike us, that has failed to do x. In times of economic crisis, failed states and their leaders crank up the propaganda machine to distract us from their deficiency, so we are not baying for their blood and demanding our dues but killing each other, conveniently letting our toffee nosed overlords off the hook.

How can we in good conscience honour the victims of genocides past when we seem to be teetering on the brink of another, nefariously intimated by the same individuals espousing liberal platitudes such as ‘Never Again’?

‘Beware Hate Speech, says Auschwitz Holocaust survivor’ is a featured story on the BBC website. There are also segments on Newsround such as ‘Holocaust Memorial; what can we learn?’ Yet it wasn’t so long ago the internet was aghast at the BBC for their promotion of real live fascists like Farage who was given more airtime in the run up to the general election than all the other leaders combined. You might have caught the swastika tattooed Nazi on the news who went by unchallenged by BBC presenters when he suggested the swastika was not in fact racist. The BBC likes to claim its non partisan stance reflects its programming but in refusing to label Nazis they have failed in this respect. By downplaying the Nazi, they have chosen the Nazi.

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The execrable minimisation of genocidal white supremacy by your faves has enabled a 21st century descent into fascism, yet still there are those who claim to uphold liberal values whilst ushering in this kinder, gentler attitude towards Nazis. Nazis just need to be shown some humanity, allegedly, to stop behaving like Nazis. You absolutely must not punch a nazi or you’re as bad as those who slaughtered 11 million people in the name of white pride. If you’re the sort of person who has even a shred of empathy/sympathy for Nazis, you might be a nazi too, or at the very least a white supremacist. When I think of Nazis, I don’t stop at a punch, Nazis are for the wall. Y’see I understand Nazis don’t even think of me as human, just medical waste. I knew as a child Nazis would have come for me, it made learning about the holocaust shockingly real and painful.

I guess this could go some way to explain the dissonance of those who mark memorial days yet platform Nazis in their newspapers and magazines. Fascism won’t ever directly impact on Nazi collaborators, they’re white by and large, middle class too if they’re journalists and academics. A bunch of these folks were fine othering Muslim people or trans people and denying it would lead to fascism but now that it is here, they’re down for punching Nazis. Dissonance or naivete, I can never tell but it might have helped stall things had they believed us.

If we read enough we know historically Nazis respond only to violence, rather it is the only thing that can stop them dead in their tracks. Nazis are cowards, they are opportunists, they thrive only because liberals legitimise their extremism, they claim to be moderates yet turn away refugees and make distinctions between good and bad immigrants, Europeans and non Europeans, Muslims and Jews. Nazis do love to divide rule and conquer so we must respond with solidarity, whether it personally impacts on us or not. When they other even one of us, we must fight back together as a whole. Othering is a white supremacist tool used to justify dehumanisation then genocide, it has no place in a civilised society. It is bullying to speak of other identities whilst excluding them from the discussion, protesting this fact does not make the protester a bully but a revolutionary.

The world is in need of a therapist, to show us all the incongruence of our words against our actions, and the good grace to admit our deepest faults, in the belief we can all be forgiven if we uphold the truth.

In our post truth, fake news world, I despair.

How to prevent genocide

Whether or not you believed survivors of pre Brexit British Values one thing is for certain, most people have witnessed now the consequences of state propaganda and wilful apathy towards people who are not like us. Being a seat of power in the enlightened west doesn’t protect us from the greedy man and his pursuit for coercive power and control, it merely delays the inevitable. It makes it easier even. For years the British press and various personalities on Twitter have denied the persecution of British minorities with the excuse that debate is a pillar of any civilised society, conveniently excluding said minorities from sharing their experiences. To make matters worse they depicted a scenario where they were being bullied and oppressed by minorities for protesting the ways in which they were being misrepresented (the free speech demonstration attended by Namazie and Tatchell springs to mind). This is called propaganda. It is a tactic used by powerful aggressors to incite divisions in order to take the spotlight off their inhumane behaviour. Most Britons happily fell for it.

Then Brexit happened and Polish people were targeted. Foreign white NHS staff were threatened with lists. An Irish woman was told she needed to provide additional identification because she was a foreign national, her fear and outrage both palpable and oddly familiar. It’s impossible for me not to feel just a smidgen of bitterness towards these people. Who will speak up for you now they have come for you, when you didn’t speak up for all the others? Marmite has had more support in this one day than Britain’s minorities have had since the Tories seized power. This misanthropy will come back 10 fold on the citizens of rainy fascist island. We’re seeing the first shockwaves from our devalued currency; Unilever has withdrawn its products from Tesco’s shelves because the latter refused to increase prices. What kind of evil corporate entity rushes to capitalise on the misfortunes of the poorest in society? Capitalism is murder, by default, it squeezes the life out of those at the bottom, starves them to death.

Perhaps now you will look to this model without sneering. The 8 stages of genocide are laid out to remind us we have been here before, but there are strategies to prevent or halt this jaunt down fascism street. Still, I will break it down so there is no confusion.

CLASSIFICATION – Categorising Asian people, all of them, as pakis and therefore Muslims has enabled violence against British Asians ranging in colour from beige to dark brown, whether Muslim, Sikh or Hindu and non believers like myself. Islamophobia, openly encouraged on public platforms from national treasures like Richard Dawkins, David Starkey, Katie Hopkins etc should have been widely condemned by their peers when they said it was not racist to criticise Islam. The west has conflated the people of the Asian subcontinent with Islam > Arabs > Taliban > Al Qaeda > Terrorism, they have racialised a belief system as they did with Jewish people pre Holocaust, who were as varied in their origins. The media could have played a part in informing society of the differences in people, that the actions of one do not reflect millions of others and should have condemned the practice of collective punishment instead of surreptitiously fanning the flames.

SYMBOLISATION – The west has long held a grudge against the visible differences we have with each other. Their stance is not only that they disapprove of other cultures but that other cultures must bow to superior western values on most things. The burqa is considered the ultimate symbol of oppression to enlightened westerners who never thought to question BBC narratives. This item of clothing is now a beacon to racists everywhere who cannot appreciate the irony of beating on women they believe need saving. To the women who choose to wear it it has become a two finger salute to those who would seek to control them. Bottom line, we must always condemn the practice of controlling the rights of women to freely express their beliefs. The rights of women to wear whatever the hell they want – no exceptions. That some feminists from the middle class white arena object to the clothes other women wear is a sign that maybe their feminism isn’t inclusive at all and maybe isn’t even feminism at all but white supremacy.

Immigrants fare no better in a system that seeks to control how we view people. At the beginning of this year, asylum seeking residents in the North East of England feared they were being marked out for easy identification when G4S, notorious contractors noted for their human rights abuses, painted their doors red which had already led to abuse from local communities. Actions such as these must come as a shock to all, contractors must lose their contracts for engaging in this dangerous activity. We have the power to hold them legally responsible, we can ban hate symbols and speech if they lead to criminal activity, as it has many times before.

DEHUMANISATION – People have a natural aversion to the taking of life, it’s all a bit close to home UNLESS you dehumanise targets so they do not trigger the instinct to protect. If you label them vermin, parasites they become easier to dispose of. These processes take years. Katie Hopkins should be legally held to account for the ways in which she has dehumanised people fleeing wars we created. People like Trump need to be held accountable by the international community, not allowed a platform from which to spew his hateful diatribe, never mind stand for president.

If you do not condemn hate at every juncture, if you think it has nothing to do with you, you’re wrong, we’re all connected. Denying one person, one group their humanity has a knock on effect throughout society, especially if done in the public eye. Precedents are set. It is better to suffocate narratives which dehumanise even one, we’re simply not evolved enough to hold it there.

The British government must be held to account for the ways in which it herds non nationals like cattle and tortures them, including pregnant women, at centres like Yarlswood. The UN must do a better job of fulfilling its original purpose, that is to implement human systems and incarcerate those who seek to degrade humanity. Prevention rather than cure was the intention and yet we are still waiting.

Broadcasters have a responsibility here too. Stop pushing far right narratives, BBC. Stop glorifying empire and supporting Nigel Farage. Similarly print journalists have their part in subtly reinforcing their desire for white supremacy, language that only refers to the white working class and asks for a Farage of The Left must be highlighted and ridiculed, if not criminalised. 21st century fascists have amended their behaviour so you cannot instantly mark them out as a racist/fascist. The commentariat may not use racial slurs but they do a brilliant job of gatekeeping and subliminal propaganda, or microaggressions.

ORGANISATION – Hate groups like Britain First must be proscribed. With the state hesitant to do this they encouraged it to propagate and proliferate. This way when the far right attacks, the British government can pretend it is innocent of any atrocities. Jo Cox, a serving MP was murdered in broad daylight by someone espousing Britain First ideology during his frenzied attack. In the months that have followed we have learnt of her inclusivity and her heart. She was targeted for these, because she believed our shared humanity unites us.

The far right have been organising and mobilising since the death of Lee Rigby when the state and media propaganda painted a situation that called for drastic action. Yougov polls excluded British poc, the PM called on Cobra, it was framed as an unprecedented attack even though it was the second of its kind in his lifetime. Our numbers were abysmally low for the counter demonstrations against hate marches the far right imposed on our towns and cities, the length and breadth of Britain, even when we begged and pleaded with those who do have the power to change things to make their support known.

The cops, media, politicians and far right have a symbiotic relationship. If even one of these were to properly stand against hate the whole hellish system would collapse.
It should concern us all that our failed state is such a prolific supplier of arms to war torn nations. Where is the UN and its arms embargo of nations engaging in genocide? Must we experience the genocide first in order to qualify?

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POLARISATION – Anyone who promotes this idea of ‘us’ and ‘them’, people like Katie Hopkins and those who state they merely wish to take care of British workers first are choosing to exploit the idea that it is not racist to put white people first. In a poll I conducted this past week, 25% of people answered no when asked if Britain was racist. Despite the murders, propaganda, the significant increases in attacks following media lies a large number of Brits believe Britain is not racist. They’re just defending their loot, even if it means considering other human beings as less worthy of resources (that were stolen from them most likely). This earth is not just for white people, it belongs to us all. There is no us and them, only the greedy bastards accustomed to evading responsibility for their own murderous actions, happy to let you die for them.

PREPARATION – At the recent Tory party conference in Birmingham the PM reinforced the usual racism but home secretary Amber Rudd took it one step further. In a move that would suddenly jolt slumbering Brits into action, she called for companies to draw up lists of their foreign workers. Non British LSE academics were informed by government representatives their input was no longer required. Suddenly the majority of people could no longer ignore the cow bells heralding in fascism, not when their French, German, Spanish etc workers lives were under threat of expulsion. This, my dears, has been the harsh reality for Britain’s Asian population since 9/11. Our lives have been scrutinised, we exist only at their behest, and the world has largely allowed it. My gran, rest her soul, came to this country in the 60s and she never let go of the fear they would get rid of us once we’d served our purpose. This inhumanity has been extended to Europeans and no one likes it, nor should they. Such a blatant attack on those we don’t usually target is a worrying sign the establishment don’t give a shit.

“At this stage a genocide emergency must be declared”.

Whilst methods differ and we cannot always be sure who they’re coming for next, we cannot deny the British government has allowed for its own citizens to be picked off by the state because they no longer qualify for additional support. People are dying from starvation in Great Britain, 1000s have perished when their mental, physical needs were denied. If we are to judge a country on the way it treats the most vulnerable, international condemnation should rain hard on this fascist island.

EXTERMINATION – If we’ve reach this stage, I’m not sure there’s anything else I can add other than fuck you, Britain and fuck you, world. In the words of my favourite communist sister “I hope the exit is  joyful quick and I hope never to return.”

DENIAL – The thing about fascists is they’re ultimately cowards, strong as a mob, weak and pathetic on their own. They never admit to their involvement even if they were the sole judge jury and executioner. Many would rather die at their own hand than ever be captured by the opposition and held to account. These stages of genocide are not static, there isn’t only one way this can go. Sometimes genocide is quick and over before you even know it began, other times it is a long and arduous process, frustrating because of the way denial plays a huge part. People will use slurs then say those slurs are not racist and the majority will go with that. It is the majority that call outcomes, the fence sitters, the anti intellectuals who are happy to take your word because you share certain identifiers. It is the intelligentsia who control the majority, through their newspapers and radio slots, prime time news on the telly. Ours are mostly bigoted white supremacists and it’s their fault we are discussing genocide in this day and age. They are neoliberals who cannot distinguish between far right thugs and antifa or empathise with the women and children they bomb in Syria. They must take back all their words and publicly condemn this government, not hold it up as feminist or revolutionary in any way.

UPDATE: It’s been brought to my attention this model has been revised. It now includes 2 further stages; DISCRIMINATION and PERSECUTION. No doubt amended to accurately reflect 21st century methods of fascism. I particularly commend the author’s stance on the words ‘counter terrorism’.

Brexit was an opinion poll, nothing more

Brexit has caused ‘economic PTSD’!

Brexit has forced the Tories to retreat from austerity!

Brexit has broken everything.

Whilst these headlines are presented as facts they actually mean very little. What is economic PTSD? Do you suffer flashbacks to the EURef whenever your eye accidentally catches the Euro symbol on your keyboard perhaps? Maybe the Tories will start throwing cash at everything now, they couldn’t have foreseen the collapse of our economy, not even with all the world class economists on speed dial. Also, when they say Britain has broken *EVERYTHING*, define ‘everything’. Do they really mean ‘every’ ‘thing’ as in every little thing that ever existed? Or do they mean everything that exists to their knowledge, so anything outside their sphere of experience isn’t actually a ‘thing’?

I’ll tell you something else Brexit hasn’t caused; racism. In the days that followed the referendum racism became impossible to ignore, only because the racists widened the net to include Poles, other European ‘migrants’ and people who don’t ‘look Muslim’. Brexit did make one thing absolutely clear; Britain is racist, of this there can be no question now but did it actually cause the racist violence prevalent today on Britain’s streets? Of course not. The majority of people targeted by the far right have been Muslim and many thousands of these incidents occurred before Brexit, before Zac Goldsmith’s racist mayoral campaign, before the racist van even.

I was personally racially abused on a London bus in 2013. The passengers on the packed night bus sided with the racists on that occasion, it was a frightening experience for me and my white friend. When I shared the incident through social media right wingers and liberals alike decided I had no right to defend myself against racism and listed all the things they imagined had happened instead of my eyewitness account. In fact every time I spoke about racism on the internet I was either ignored or targeted in malicious campaigns to silence me. I reported racism to the police and they responded with an informal caution for saying ‘kill all men’. Where were the defenders of freeze peach when I was deemed ineligible for support because I exercised my right to say whatever I feel? What possible justification did West Midlands Police have for blocking me on social media? The authorities turned their back on me when I needed the law, racism is in fact illegal and a punishable offence. It went by unchallenged though and emboldened racists to escalate their attacks against me.

With every inaction, every no holds barred ‘debate’ on immigration and attacks on people the mainstream can’t stomach; disabled people, trans people, refugees fleeing catastrophes we caused, the proud British racist was given the nod to abuse anyone he doesn’t personally like. He thought the referendum would decide whether or not immigrants would be made to LEAVE, in fact he knew nothing about the EU and our part in it.  The violent racism we have all witnessed the past few days has been picked up because the people with the power to spread information (or misinformation if we’re being honest) decided to publish it on their platforms. They keep the spotlight on it. If they had done the same for Muhsin Ahmed, Mohammed Saleem, Nahid Almanea perhaps we wouldn’t be in this nightmare scenario today.

If Richard Dawkins et al hadn’t been so focused on bashing Muslims at every opportunity, maybe we wouldn’t have been quick to ‘other’ European migrants. If Helen Lewis and her ilk had listened instead of ‘literally not giving a shit’ and monstering, othering and silencing marginalised groups they might have heard how we were suffering for many years before the rise of fascism went mainstream. Heck they might even have tried including us in their ‘debates’ so we could provide a suitable counter argument instead of the circle jerk that is the neoliberal mainstream media. Had David Cameron refrained from making Muslim mums the target for his racist crusades, others may not have seen fit to abuse them too. If Katie Hopkins never existed in the first place brown people wouldn’t have been dehumanised and reduced to vermin in a national newspaper.

Despite the many comparisons on the internet between the ‘journalism’ we are subjected to today and the hate speech which was the norm prior to the Holocaust there were still liberals and lefties calling Godwin and accusing us of attention seeking cos we’re all after a book deal (says a lot about the accusers in my opinion). Various national treasures feigned ignorance, going as far as to defend their use of racial slurs with the argument it is not in fact racist to say the p and n words (John Terry, Prince Harry, Anton du Beke, Jeremy Clarkson, India Knight etc made it commonplace where once it was censored). Theresa May justified her creepy racist van asking foreigners how we could make it easy for them to go home, because the British people insisted it wasn’t racist to talk about immigration controls. She can make even a British person stateless, if they are suspected of ‘terrorism’. Britain First, even after their proven links with Jo Cox’s killer, is not yet referred to as the terrorist militia it clearly is so I can only imagine it will be non whites who live with the threat of statelessness. When you make a person stateless it becomes easier to dehumanise them.

These aren’t projected fears, these behaviours have been identified as dangerous because human behaviour is formulaic. If x happens then y is sure to follow. Human beings have proved again and again, through various historical genocides that ‘othering’, that is to say polarisation of groups, ‘us’ and ‘them’ inevitably leads to dehumanisation then mass killings. On the flipside this means we can prevent atrocities if we are honest about the horrors around us. Try and get an honest answer out of a journalist or politican though and you’ll see why we are condemned to this Tory enabled Brexit wasteland. They’re all in it together, to the detriment of us plebs.

At every twist and turn we have raised flags and pleaded with powerful people to recognise “we have far more in common with each other than that which divides us” (as the late Jo Cox once said) and they responded with control; denying our experiences, denying our very existence and charging on without us, full steam ahead. We’ve been discarded and abandoned for demanding equality. The same people carry on today as though they are innocent of any wrongdoing and as shocked as the rest of us at all the worrying reports.

It is never too late to admit you have white privilege and make amends with those you have wronged. If you cannot humble yourself and put others first, you carry us further down this beaten path of iniquity, still against our will. There are those who’d rather we all perished than relinquish even a little of their power and control, and this thought should frighten us all.

The Politics of Violence Against Women

As a survivor of domestic violence and a repeat victim of online harassment and abuse, neither of which were acknowledged by the authorities or the commentariat responsible for throwing me to the trolls in the first place, I am angry but also demoralised by the display of ignorance and entitlement our feminist women MPs have treated us to the last few weeks.

Lucy Allan the Conservative member of parliament for Telford was found to have lied about the death threat she allegedly received in response to the fact she’d voted to bomb Syria. Similarly Stella Creasy lamented the ‘call doxxing’ she’d clearly imagined being as there is no such thing. Doxxing is what happens when someone trawls the Internet for your home and work details, pasting them online so that anyone can access your private information. Trolls and those with actual criminal intent (to rape or kill) are then free to hunt you down and hurt you. This hasn’t happened to Stella and even if it did the police would do their jobs, unlike the reality for the majority of victims who are not permitted to even defend themselves with words because it shows they weren’t frightened or intimidated by the perpetrator. Victim blaming aside, in my personal experience the authorities pass the buck on whose duty of care it is to safeguard vulnerable people online. If you’re an MP though, the cops are answerable to you, it’d be more than their job’s worth to treat the elite the way they do the rest of us plebs so to use this language not only incorrectly but to suggest there is no recourse is a blatant lie, especially when someone has already been jailed for getting on Creasy’s privileged side.

Siobhan McDonagh, another Labour MP claimed the attacks on her were comparable to domestic abuse, using emotive language in order to appeal for sympathy because we do care about victims in this country. Domestic abuse is so called because it happens in the home. It is where one person lives in fear of another, a relation, intimate partner, regardless of gender. It is not at all comparable to the righteous condemnation that goes hand in hand with being a representative for the people, particularly when you’re not doing a very good job of listening to your constituents. How do these MPs suggest we behave given that we’re being sold down the river for objecting to more war (and a million other policies) by these elitist warmongering neolibs?

However their words have not had the desired effect, instead survivors have expressed their dismay and unease at this appropriation of survivor language by women who should definitely know better. Why aren’t they trained in women’s issues, how can they be unaware of the ways in which patriarchy denies justice to victims on the basis that “women lie”? When one woman makes a false allegation of anything that is viewed within society as a women’s issue, it has a knock on effect for us all. It’s sad and unfair but a fact that whenever we do make progress we do so for the whole of womankind. Similarly when one of us fucks up, we make things difficult for all.

When Jeremy Corbyn was voted in as leader we were told how unfeminist it was to overlook the female candidates but the feminists themselves don’t understand how unfeminist it is to use these particular words in the wrong context, when so many women are denied justice.

Please stop using the words we use to describe our lived experiences. As marginalised people we need them to describe the actual things we suffer without justice and for people to understand what those experiences mean. To undermine this language is to undermine the work we do in the community and online to raise awareness of violence against women, something of which I’m sure the capitalist fems haven’t the slightest clue.

(To bomb Syria, where there will most likely be women and children is a feminist issue but then white feminism was adamant race wasn’t a feminist issue at all so they’re hardly going to join the dots here)

An Open Letter: To the racist next door (well, upstairs)

We haven’t met yet, I tend to avoid the stairwells at home time, in fact most of the time because I rarely go out but I frequently hear you come home after a relatively short day at work. The landlord says you’re a teacher and this was meant to prove your suitability for the flat above me, the walls are thin and I knew the last couple far too intimately, although I hadn’t met them either. Whilst it’s true there haven’t yet been any all night raves as yet, I am getting used to the drone of your very boring self important expressions. I don’t think this is your natural speaking voice but an affectation of what a teacher should sound like. You sound very male and very entitled even when I can’t make out the words, you frequently talk over your guests. When you’re not enunciating for the whole street you’re belting out Lloyd Webber classics for Britain First’s Got No Talent so it’s fair to say you like all the attention being you gets.

It is with this growing irritation that I peeked out of the peep hole when I heard your voice bellow loudly as you trudged up the stairs this afternoon. I caught the back of your head, looks like you don’t have any hair, and you seemed as tall as the door to the next floor. A shorter man with brown skin followed behind. He didn’t pique my interest as much as the words you were saying to him though. You said “whilst women in India are oppressed at least they get an education. In Pakistan they don’t even have that.”

Oh really? I’m even more pumped to meet you now, can’t wait to look at all your photos of Pakistan and hear about your best and worst adventures. Of course as an educator of future generations I assume you must have the information to make a statement so matter of factly, so I’m going to believe you when you say anything, otherwise why would you? Unless say, you were just repeating a thing you’d always heard and just assumed to be true because you’re a thickheaded arrogant racist (cos white supremacy runs deep even with the ones who don’t appear outwardly fascistic) and why should you care about whether things are factual or not, it’s not like due process is a thing poc even understand in their own corrupt countries so why would they expect it here, or something?

In my large family most of the graduates are women. My grandparents had a focus on educating the girls because they wanted us to be independent and not reliant on a husband who could do with us as he pleased. They saw education as freedom from patriarchy, which certainly confused me growing up being as my family weren’t lacking on the patriarch front. I think it was a latent desire to keep “our women” free from the clutches of western patriarchy, to increase our value as women in the western world where we are seen as servile and disposable. This attitude was prevalent in the community I come from. These were the poorest of Pakistanis and many married their girls off young but the suitors were always turned away at the door for us and my aunts. “They’re too busy with their studies” was the blanket response my gran had for anyone suggesting we were ripe. This remained the case forever, at least with regards to myself. I’m still unmarried, in my 30s, and still learning, at my own pace.

This isn’t the first time a person in a position of power has espoused dangerously problematic opinions with regards to the natives of my fledgling motherland. Another teacher, older than the racist upstairs and also a devout Christian asked me once whether it was true there was a whole village of imbeciles somewhere in Pakistan, where the IQ was nominally the lowest in the whole world. I didn’t even know what to say to that.

This kind of jarring ignorance has become commonplace in the wasteland of post recession Tory Britain, it’s breathtaking because it was not the norm for me, at least not growing up in my multicultural town with my multicultural friends and teachers. It was perhaps always there but cleverly disguised because at one time people believed in power of laws which forbid racism, I know I did. The various authorities inadequate response to racism has allowed for that attitude to seep into wider society because the racists know the cops are on their side. Whiteness trumps justice. In fact racism is condoned by the people occupying seats of power at the very top, for example when they call Cobra to deal with an unprecedented death of a white soldier on British soil even though that sentence is untrue in its entirety.

I have come to conclude there is no right or wrong in society only power and control, that is to say I believe there is a moral compass and most certainly a version of life exists for some where doing the right thing is the noblest and happiest way to live but for the majority of people it really is about what you can get away with in any given situation. These opinions white people have, where they deny the humanity of others and speak of them as aliens without any direct experience of the people in question is a narrative that is centuries old. Racism is most prevalent in the UK in the areas where there are actually no people of colour, so when you’re trying to reason with a fascist that they are wrong about all Muslims, you may as well be speaking to a shit brick wall. There is no reasoning with those who are devoid of reason, education, experience yet exist in a suit of white skin that elevates them to a state of enlightenment where they can make damaging untruthful statements about other humans without batting an eyelid or challenge.

They’re teachers and I left school at 16 so they’re right and I’m wrong, or at least that’s the version some of you allow yourselves to believe.

24.89.105.126

Dear hostmaster(at)accesscomm.ca,

Please find attached screenshots of abusive messages from IP 24.89.105.126.

I’m not sure what you’re going to do with this information as nobody seems to care about this kind of thing, but I’m hoping we haven’t slipped too far down the rabbit hole just yet. It says to report abuse on this email and that’s what I’m doing.

Yours despairingly,

Sam

2489105126 2489105126dickwad