Feminism

Understanding the Domestic Abuser Part 2

You’re in a relationship with a powerful man, so powerful he is in the running for prime minister. It was all a bit of a whirlwind, the foundations for your relationship are rocky, not least because of his track record as a womaniser. He left another woman to be with you. He left another woman to be with her. He might eventually do the same to you so you have to really go that extra mile to keep him interested. He might push you about a bit, but then men do don’t they? You’ve grown up in world where toxic masculinity thrives, where secrets and lies bind you together instead of pushing you apart.

The violence is escalating, he doesn’t care as much as he used to about keeping it under wraps. Who would believe you anyway? Your neighbours might even have recorded evidence of an alleged assault, a thing they were pushed to do because they feared for your life. Yet still, you can’t quite name the problem because the gravity of the situation is overwhelming, the whole world knows your name and regardless of the facts or evidence, people have already made up their minds. So you consider damage control, and stage a photo opportunity where you seem engrossed in each other and oblivious to the assessments people are making of your intimate relationship, a scene entirely reminiscent of another case of gendered domestic violence, whether purposely or inadvertently, which leads to people questioning the authenticity of a such a spectacle, so soon after the incident, which had resulted in a safe and well check by the police.

Imagine you are Carrie Symonds and the privileged world you live in turns on you. You’re the reason he might not become prime minister, if you had just listened or done what it is you were told, he’d still be in the running. The 1% maintain their power with a polished veneer we rarely see past. If we knew the truth, how domestic abuse is rampant in the upper classes, much like child sex abuse, the whole sorry facade of British stoicism and civility would dissipate, and Britain would be just as bad as those Asian and African nations it loves to point fingers at.

Having supported 100s of victims of domestic abuse, I can say for certain the one thing that made my job easier and that of other agencies involved in the process, was the goodwill and bravery of witnesses who came to the rescue. The likes of Toby Young and Telegraph and Spiked columnists shamelessly refer to these acts of kindness as somehow being akin to the Stasi, in their typically hysterical and duplicitous way. These fragile snowflakes who demanded that milkshake throwers face the full arm of the law rushed to minimise gendered domestic abuse because violence against women is just a feature of their developmentally stunted lives. Toby Young can jizz to his dead heart’s content over underage girls and promote eugenics, safe in the knowledge that nepotism will save his mediocre arse. Is that the sort of person we believe in this country?

Friends of Boris at The Torygraph have suggested that Carrie Symonds may have staged these photos after the incident. It’s more like Johnson gave her the telling to of her life and issued an ultimatum to fix it. She may well have called the photographer, and paid them, but he’s still pulling the strings. Apparently they are in love, and this goes against the stories The Left are allegedly telling themselves. I repeat: it takes 33 attempts to leave an abuser, during which time you might still love them, and hope they will change. Perhaps Carrie thinks this sharp shock to the system might affect Boris’ behaviour, to think and act more carefully, even behind closed doors. This might just make Boris even more secretive and controlling, to avoid exposure like this again.

This relationship is doomed. It may take her many years to come to grips with it and shake herself free from its grasp.

poolia

If we’re looking at ‘evidence’, Julia, let’s consider the fact that non violent, non controlling relationships don’t usually result in a visit from the police. The people who made the report had sufficient concerns for her safety and well-being, if there was no evidence of an altercation the police would have said so and reprimanded the callers. To my knowledge, this did not occur.

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The first response to Julia’s comment came right out of ‘the perpetrator’s guide to getting the police on side’. I can’t tell you how many times prolific perps, that is to say those who’ve had enough experience of the system to know how to play it, have said these exact words and used defensive wounds inflicted by the victim as evidence she initiated the attack. Luckily there are specialist domestic violence courts and professionals who’ve been trained to recognise these tactics, myself included (but this doesn’t help anyone when I am banned from social media).

Furthermore, we cannot advise people ignore violence if they are in the vicinity and can hear it loud and clear, ‘because it is none of their business’, that is how domestic abusers were able to run rings around the authorities as recently as the 90s. Not only that but this typically silencing behaviour is usually the purview of perpetrators. Non violent people who oppose violence do not ignore violence. This speaks to the decades of historic abuse where they all knew about it and nobody did a thing. Now we have a crisis as a nation of survivors and victims, authorities are ill equipped to deal with the fall out and senior officers of the law are even making unthinkable suggestions to let the past lie, because the present is all consuming.

There are two types of people in this world; those who abhor violence and are committed to calling it out and those who thrive on it, because it feels like home. We’re all telling on ourselves, one way or another.

DULUTH WHEELS FOR NON VIOLENCE AND POWER AND CONTROL
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Violent Rich White Men

I think a few rich white men were offended by my tweets regarding white male violence against women and how easy it is for them to evade justice. I’ve just been suspended from Twitter again (for 7 days, during which I cannot tweet, only DM), for another hyperbolic tweet I’d completely forgotten about. I’m speaking in relation to trophy hunters, overwhelmingly rich and white and murderous. Nobody reported it at the time, presumably because nobody cares but what are facts when you’re trying to silence someone long enough for it to be yesterday’s news?

rich white prats

(the image featured a white woman holding a dead giraffe, apparently unrepentant, saying she would do it again)

As most of you know, I worked in DV services for near a decade, supporting women through the justice system, advocating on their behalf. I came into contact with women from all walks of life and learnt a lot about what to look for when there are no obvious signs of abuse because victims don’t tend to go shouting it from the rooftops. I learnt about how society enables abusers, how patriarchal societies are skewed in men’s favour, so that even violence against women and children is justified in order to maintain power. We provided a service for which there should not have been a need, that is, to ensure that public authorities were doing their duties correctly and to minimise further harm to vulnerable women and their children. A sad indictiment of British society, that we should need to constantly reiterate duty of care to agencies to prevent repeat incidents and educate them about the various types of abusers.

If there’s one thing I know intimately, it’s an abuser. I was raised by them, I was engaged to them, I watched many of them being sentenced for hurting my clients. Gendered violence knows no cultural racial religious or economic bounds (poverty doesn’t cause DV, just exacerbates it). Often the worst offenders are the people you are least likely to think of as violent, because they have a good job, went to a good school and move in the right circles. There is a higher prevalence of violence in males working public jobs in policing and justice. It felt counterintuitive to trust these people with vulnerable women but there were no other options. Just like it feels wrong to trust in the British state and government, people with the power to act with impunity, to claim up is down.

We all saw the footage of Mark Field handling the Greenpeace activist. As victims and survivors of gendered violence we were triggered, because we’ve seen that look before in an abuser’s eyes. We know that he’s done it before, it was so instinctual for him to grab her around her the neck. In the standard test for victims of DV, the CAADA (co-ordinated action against domestic abuse) DASH (domestic abuse, stalking and honour based violence) specifically asks whether the perpetrator has ever strangled or put their hands around the victim’s neck. This is because statistically, men who target the neck area are threatening to kill their victim. There is a correlation between men who strangle and domestic homicide. A yes reply would result in an instant referral to a MARAC (multi agency risk assessment conference) regardless of whether any of the other criteria was satisified. This fact cannot be downplayed by the defenders of violence against women, regardless of whether have a column in The Times or attended the Banker’s dinner.

When talking heads like these, with their privilege, and platforms use their power to deny abuse, as they have done with racism these past few years, incidents of violence increase. Violence trickles down, from parent to child, from the toffs to the underclass. They’re so keen to normalise violence, these very damaged adult children, because they took it when it happened to them, and didn’t complain, choosing instead to identify with their abusers. They are not normal, they are disordered, they believe violence against women can be justified.

..Except when the perpetrators are black or brown, then there are calls for collective punishment. We need to speak truthfully about the violence of white men and why it has been a badly kept secret for 100s of years. We know child sex abuse is endemic but we’re yet to accept the same of gendered violence, not when there are so many lazy stereotypes of poc to so easily buy into.

Given that there is a causal link between domestic abuse and terrorism, aren’t you reassured Field is the Minister of State for Asia and the Pacific? No? Me neither.

(The Greenpeace activist, Janet Baker, is quoted as saying Mark Field should go for anger management classes. I would advise against this as research suggests that perpetrators of gendered violence use them to hone their power and control, making them even more difficult to detect)

BREAKING NEWS – Police called to house Boris Johnson shares with Carrie Symonds.
“At one point Symonds could be heard telling Johnson to “get off me” and “get out my flat”.

 

West Midlands Police don’t care about rape threats against women of colour

West Midlands police have launched an investigation into UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin aka Sargon of Akkad (a persistent and odious troll rooted in Gamergate, he was a champion for that other misogynist Elevatorgate) for saying he’d rape Jess Phillips if he were under pressure. He had previously said he wouldn’t even rape her, in 2016 when Jess discussed men threatening rape on social media.

Prior to this, in 2014, I had approached West Midlands police with a dossier of tweets aimed at me threatening to rape me, in sick detail, and death threats, suggestions to kill myself, a calculated effort on the part of gamergaters and various chan types to silence the most vocal social justice activists. They were sicced on us by the liberal leftie media (led by Helen Lewis) when we challenged their outrageously bigoted takes on minorities whilst excluding us from the conversation. At the time there was a surge in radical feminists taking a stand and ‘kill all men’ was a hyperbolic retort to the escalating harassment and stalking of women activists online. This phrase caused more of a ripple at my local plod office than the reams of threats and attempts to dox me. They said they could not prove rape threats were outside the realms of taste and decency in the context of international law and if I was so threatened I should log off the internet. Furthermore I was advised I could face criminal prosecution for my use of said phrase. I was victimised again by the very people who are supposed to keep us safe. I wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.

westmids

I said as much on social media, and challenged West Midlands police on their Twitter account for failing to do even the most basic of their duties and they blocked me. So self assured were they, that someone as insignificant as me would go unheard, they just turned their backs. I approached Jess about it on Twitter and she told me to talk to my own MP, but only after a slanging match. I tweeted Stella Creasy as well and she just ignored me. Now we’ve got everyone bending over backwards to condemn the nazi rapists who went largely ignored by the authorities for YEARS until someone ‘important’ was targeted.

I will reiterate what I said then, as pertinent as it is now; you might have more in common with them, they may share your political leanings, your skin colour, or your mutual dislike of opponents but you let them brutalise even one of us and you’ve allowed for society to take a nosedive in standards and made the world a little colder and crueller with your indifference. Doing the right thing isn’t a commendable thing really, not when we find it so easy to help the people we like. To stand for people who can do nothing for you, against injustices that have a knock on effect on us all, that’s a true measure of one’s character; to be principled in complex scenarios, and sadly we just haven’t had the leaders in place to ensure this.

It has allowed for perpetrators of ‘unpleasant comments’ to legally stand for public office.

electroal

Consider the way in which Bahar Mustafa was targeted amid calls for her to lose her job for saying “kill all white men”. Or the way Sarah Jeong was mercilessly harangued, for remarks such as “dumbass white people” by the very same Gamergate incels who no doubt informed her opinions. It’s very easy to mount campaigns to uproot and destroy the lives of women of colour yet white men can LEGALLY make threats to rape serving women MPs and the electoral commission just shrugs, minimises criminal intent and says “what can you do?”

As a society we have rewarded the worst in human traits. In the pursuit of white supremacy, a thing all white people even the ‘not racist’ ones must protect, it was easier to pretend we didn’t exist perhaps in the hopes we would succumb to threats. We haven’t and the abusers have only been empowered by the authorities’ tacit approval, so much so that they can threaten rape and stand for public office.

5 years on we haven’t killed all the men or even one, but the number of women targeted by rapists and the far right has grown out of control. Our free speech came under question but the criminal activities of rapist nazis were enabled because they are actually all on the same side.

This country has gone to shit and it isn’t because of immigrants, it’s raping paedophile nazis platformed by the mainstream media and government. Jess is perhaps best placed to change this.. FOR ALL WOMEN.. but will she?

New Zealand’s National Treasure

In the days since the white supremacist terrorist attack on a mosque in Christchurch New Zealand we’ve seen things that have shocked us, angered us, left us feeling helpless. As the British government doubles the security fund for religious buildings to make mosques safer here, repercussions are felt all over the world as we feel them here. However there is one shining light pouring through the cracks, soothing the almost physical pain at times, and that is New Zealand’s human prime minister. Never mind that they’ve just had a terror attack in which so many perished, I want to live there.

From the way she has handled the victims and their families to the reforms she is firing through and the respect and dignity with which she carries herself, knowing exactly the right thing to say and do, well I’d hang up my anarchist hat for her. She refuses to refer to the terrorist by his name, because he wanted notoriety and I love her so hard for that. She labelled it a terrorist attack, actions that place her head and shoulders above our government and media. She is a just leader. She understands coercive power and control and toxic masculinity, she won’t compromise on her values. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern doesn’t believe putting a scarf on her head, as a feminist, is contradicting her beliefs because she’s not doing it for herself, but for them, those who’ve so cruelly suffered in her nation. I’m sure this tiny gesture would have been so lovingly received, in this world the bar is so low that even basic respect is a radical act.

jacinda

I know that my heart flutters when I see her in the news. I feel an affinity with her because she knows right and wrong and how to feel and think appropriately. She’s like Jeremy Corbyn in that respect. I’m sure they would listen to ideas they don’t necessarily believe and could be swayed with logic. I think they’re open to regular people in a way that world leaders the world over just aren’t. The 1% have a lot to answer for.

New Zealand is a place I’ve wanted to visit. Never met a Kiwi I didn’t like. They tell me that it isn’t so great, there are problems lurking under the veneer but then isn’t everywhere like that? Surely what matters is the resistance to these issues? I don’t care that there will always be racists so long as there are plenty of us willing to punch the fuck out of them.

Plus these guys, they’d be good to have on side, don’t you think?

haka

Love to the people of New Zealand for respecting and honouring humanity.

________________________________

For balance (I do tend to get carried away*): a Muslim perspective from inside New Zealand. Sadly it’s the same everywhere

The hypocrisy of New Zealand’s ‘this is not us’ claim

https://f7td5.app.goo.gl/i6eJR

*with other people’s good intentions

Condemn the Racist Guardian and FB Friends

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In the wake of the New Zealand mosque attack a narrative is emerging that perhaps seeks to minimise the causes for these acts of terror. Facebook has taken down 1.5 million copies of the video clip filmed by the white supremacist terrorist as he slaughtered his victims. The Guardian suggests it is “highlighting the enormous challenge involved in keeping violent and offensive material off social networks”. Funny, I was banned for calling someone a rat on Twitter, I’d had previous suspensions for telling someone to eat his own weiner in retaliation to racist and sexist threats and with regards to fb in particular, I closed my account when I’d had enough of the racist threats to rape me, which fb said did not violate its apparently nonexistent standards.

raborg (2)

This didn’t happen in a vacuum, white supremacists didn’t one day decide to say and do all the things they’ve been legalled banned from doing so since 1965 with the Race Relations Act (the act banned racial discrimination in public places and made the promotion of hatred on the grounds of ‘colour, race, or ethnic or national origins’ an offence); this was a long process of normalisation, of proliferation via social media. It was a miscarriage of justice enabled by the institutionally racist police force and crown prosecution service. Freedom of speech doesn’t extend to protected groups, suspensions disproportionately affected minorities. These attitudes were confirmed in national newspapers with even ‘left wing’ columnists claiming silencing and oppression for having bigoted views.

suzanne moore

They enabled violent hate speech by claiming it was not islamophobic or transphobic to spout their privileged propaganda. Where is the inquiry into the causes for this breakdown in humanity? Perhaps the very same white supremacists who created this crisis are still in control of the reins and are steering it towards their original objective, white supremacy, self assured in their limitless power?

silencing

Every time we see a white supremacist terrorist in the news they fit the type; worthless useless antonym of supreme kills people for kicks and white people everywhere claim a victory for white dominance. This clash of civilisations was a misnomer, there is no clash of equal strengths, they’re not crashing together like cymbals, it is a death match heavily weighted towards an historical oppressor. It should have been called the White Supremacist Superbug, its resistance to progression and social justice hypothesised as the catalyst for genocide the globe over.

These have-a-go-at-homicide nobodies would stop if one of their leaders went down for their part in the normalisation phase. Indict Mark Zuckerberg for crimes against humanity. Milo Yanofuckface should face charges not just a suspension from travel to Australia, for his comments following the massacre. Tumblr, for eg, has just taken down all its porn posts, essentially losing 1/5 of its user base yet Twitter and FB are hesitant to do the same with Nazis. It is for this reason alone silicon valley bosses have been slow to react to hatred and bigotry; white supremacy is big bucks, whether off the back of a terrorist slaughter or a good old fashioned war, these greedy pigs chose to line their own pockets over tolerance and humanity. Personally I don’t have a problem with porn but Nazis can die in a fire. I’d hazard a guess porn is a bigger money spinner than racist hate but no one wants to have sex with Nazis. 

We antifascists have been begging and pleading with those in power to give this issue the attention it deserves since at least 2012 and look at where we are now. We are still being silenced, still being oppressed and the architects of this injustice (and I include the Guardian in this for their platforming of bigots such as Suzanne Moore, Grace Dent and Julie Bindel to name a few) are revising the facts so that fb deserves sympathy as opposed to our wrath. The problem is the journalists, the tech geeks, the politicians, they all went to the same schools and hit up the same coke dealer for that good Columbian shit and this status matters more to them then scores of dead Muslims. They have more in common with each other than the rest of humanity. We should be joining the dots between the main offenders and figuring out who went to school with who, and who is in possession of whose dirty secret, so that we might get a handle on this shit show once and for all.

grace dent

(Happy Shamima Begum’s baby died after all, I bet)

Rainy Fascist Sexist Island and Child Protection

So that’s that then, Britain can and will make teenagers stateless. Correction: it will make non white British citizens stateless, because this was never our home. That’s the message I received when news of Shamima Begum’s citizenship being revoked flashed across my phone screen. It confirmed what I already knew, that rainy fascist island doesn’t care about victims of grooming, unless that is, it can use the victims to promote a racist agenda, and Britain can and will expel us, by mob rule it would seem.

To add insult to injury, our knuckle-headed home secretary has added that Ms Begum’s child may be allowed to reside in the UK. This isn’t because he’s all heart, this is a tactic used by the cruel and inhumane authorities in response to pleas for child protection, thinking of the newly born baby who, through no fault of his own, is being punished for the actions of another minor (his mother was 15 years old when she was groomed). This is not new, as an advocate supporting victims of domestic abuse I had many clients who were threatened with the same action. It is a despicable assault inflicted on vulnerable mothers who come to us with many issues only to be told their situation could get much worse. Have you ever seen a mother separated from her baby? What kind of sadistic entity saw fit to pass this kind of ruling? “I know how we’ll cut our numbers down on national assistance, create a loophole in child protection, relinquish any rights towards mothers, if they care so much about the well-being of their kids, they’ll leave them in care and fuck off” (this is how I imagine it went down, expletives an’ all). As advocates for women and children this is when we would use the human rights act to remind the ghouls what being human is all about. The right to family life for instance, the belief that family is better together whatever their circumstances, than apart. This is precisely why the Tories wanted shot of it. Humanity is the answer to everything which is why they constantly seek to dehumanise us.

Knowing what we now know about the child protection system, the sex abusers amongst the establishment using care homes and the like as a sort of home order catalogue, I’m not happy entrusting any child to the state. I would even suggest Shamima’s baby is better off in a refugee camp than it is is Britain’s care homes, and if she can try and find haven elsewhere, then she should do that.

Her comments on hearing the news come across as naive and so very childlike, I have no doubts this young woman has been failed. I hope sincerely she has people working in her best interests and not just using her as a vehicle for something else.

For the rest of us commonwealth folk (who’ve never seen a penny funnily enough) we need to fight the state before it makes the rest of us stateless on a whim. Shamima might seem like a lost cause to y’all, as if you could never be in the same position because you are a law abiding citizen but the state doesn’t make that distinction, it only cares that you are not white. It’s not about to exile the ‘natives’. This law wasn’t created to boot white people off rainy fascist island, it is just one more dirty cannon in white supremacist Theresa May’s hostile environment. A gun for funny tinges.

The Injustice of a Racist Britain

justice

White supremacy is in white people’s DNA. They’ve ruled the waves, they will never be slaves, they do the enslaving. From the toffs to the chavs they whip into a frenzy in the name of white skin, they all BELIEVE they are superior (unless they are actively dismantling white privilege and abolishing the structures that enable it).

You can show them evidence of white people’s crimes and they will minimise it, from the cops to the court system and beyond. The brutal murder and rape of Alesha McPhail at the hands of a 16 year old white male has been fairly muted compared to the sensationalist and somewhat salacious accounts being reported on the matter of jihadist teen brides keen to repatriate. No, I personally do not believe all should be forgiven and forgotten in cases such as these but I do not think we should be making children stateless (or anyone for that matter – NO BORDERS). If we can hide the identity of a 16 year old rapist and murderer who inflicted some of the worst injuries the police have ever seen on a 6 year old baby, a suspect who’s never shown any remorse, and continues to evade justice by perverting the course to it (he says the semen was planted on the child’s body by a vengeful Jezebel), then we can show compassion to a young person who was groomed into her role as a sort of useful idiot. There’s no confidentiality clause for young brown people when they are suspected of committing heinous crimes. No, not when 76% of Sun readers have made their minds up about letting her and the baby rot in their sorry refugee camp. With scenes from the BBC’s Bodyguard fresh in everyone’s minds, brown Muslim women are already condemned as traitors and terrorists, sly and sneaky. Why take the risk eh?

When Asian men groom young white girls everyone is up in arms (eventually) but their primary victims, their wives and daughters and mothers are fair game. Isis teen is born evil I guess, just like all the other darkies. Listening to her though, with the tiniest bit of compassion and understanding of the naive developing mind of a teenage girl (she was 15 years old when she was recruited) and not as an other but one of our own, born and bred, I can see only how she has been neglected and pushed to the limits by a society that has rejected her from the moment she was old enough to understand she was an other, and how easily a predator could have taken advantage of that. She appeals to the British public’s sympathy because that is the image we’re given of white people, they like to see themselves as magnanimous and she is aware of it, as we all are. Sadly I don’t think she actually believes it (as none of us do), but she’s desperate. She has given her newly born child the kind of protection she has never afforded herself. To her own detriment she is appealing for the safety of her child, as any mother would. She needs guidance and rehabilitation not spiteful retribution. People like Maajid Nawaz managed it but I have to wonder, is it because he routinely toes the British National party line on good and bad Muslims? Do you have to jump hoops to satisfy white interests? Swear allegiance to queen and country? A rhetorical question obviously, I can confirm this to be true.

Every day I see more evidence of white crimes, the likes of which chill you to the core and make you not want to step foot out of your front door or have your own children. I had a white lady anti vaxxer threaten to lick me, at one end of the batshit scale and read of threats to lynch women of colour MPs who dare to speak out against Brexit, down the other. I’ve had my own troop of white savages threatening to rape and kill me since a white journalist used an opportunity to deny racism was everywhere. Imagine if Helen Lewis had been sympathetic to our pleas all those years ago or any of her journalist friends instead of throwing us to their fascist following. Are we really going to let the media and politicians get away with the hellscape they’ve created?

Farage has recrutied 100,000 people to his newest fash party. Like all his other ventures into the mainstream this party has only one objective and that’s racism. He’s not building a legitimate party to win a war of words he’s putting together an army. He has threatened violence before. He has denied murderous violence, in the wake of the white supremacist slaying of Jo Cox in broad daylight. He is dangerous and should have already been blacklisted. Why hasn’t this happened?

The liberal/left wing media denied Britain was racist and turned everyone against the people who were trying to wake you up to this reality. Then they claimed antisemitism was the only racism any of us should pay attention to and rushed to the aid of European nationals threatened with repatriation under Brexit, whilst they quietly condemned the Windrush generation to deportation and destitution. They let brown foreign nationals die in hospitals from treatable diseases because their humanity is lost. Everywhere I look I see intense suffering of ethnic minorities and trauma that will span some generations to come and injustice wherever white people commit crimes.

To be a white supremacist is to be inhumane.