Desmond Amofah AKA Etika was a YouTube star famous for his gaming channel, with a whopping 800,000 subscribers. He was a pioneer of YouTube gaming and leaves many distraught fans in his wake. There is an online petition with almost half a million signatories, demanding the reinstatement of Desmond’s channel, which was taken down according to the petition “due to his misconduct of a few uploads” (sic). YouTube may have suspended Etika for breaching the guidelines but I for one am amazed at their efficiency when cyberbullies Kiwi Farms have used YouTube to continue abusing their victims cross platforms for years. Perhaps his fans are unaware of the circumstances leading to his untimely death and need to be told, there is more to this story than first meets the eye.
Desmond Amofah had not drawn attention to the thread Kiwi Farms had created to target him, probably because he was afraid. I know I wanted to run and hide until it was all over. I had suicidal ideation that I was able to work through. In this haunting clip, he discusses his own death in a disconcertingly chirpy manner, forcing a smile that cracks in the corners as his eyes tell another story.
He is imparting his final wishes, perhaps knowing the truth that the day would arrive much sooner, but you can’t really say that to people cos it upsets them. I did and I was saved. Maybe he really didn’t want to be.
Desmond is the 5th person to end their life as a result of harassment and stalking by nazi incels and bullies Kiwi Farms. The death toll continues to rise and the response from the authorities is meagre at best. NYPD found and reported the news of Desmond’s passing yet failed to mention Kiwi Farms as a possible motive. Perhaps they are unaware. Of course it’s not like me at all to give the cops the benefit of the doubt but I’m hoping they will at least look into it.
So is anyone going to slap the likes of Toby Young and Julia Hartley Brewer on the wrist for the violence they have incited against Symonds’ neighbours? Domestic abusers and apologists must have been chomping at the bit to teach them a lesson. Not forgetting the far right who took the Stasi bait. Always tell on perpetrators of gendered violence, it is your moral duty.
The mainstream media have focused on the political affiliations of Tom Penn and Eve Leigh (The Daily Express, The Sun etc) with every sentence they’ve spewed in outrage at the couple’s act of kindness and decency, they are culpable for the death threats that have pushed them out of their home. This is Britain, where they pretend to care about abuse but only if they can use it to make a racist point. Britain hates women, it hates people who would help women. It consistently confirms my prejudices against white men for their entitlement and toxic masculinity. They have the power to write narratives that betray the reality, meanwhile society slips further down the slope, impacting on all of our lives. I have witnessed this descent into hell, as we all have and just when we think it can’t possibly get any worse it has.
There must be repercussions for this, as there have been unjustly for Tom Penn and Eve Leigh. As a society we must stop punishing people for doing the right thing and rewarding the scheming cowards who know how to manipulate situations. I’m afraid there are more people than we know, who are willing to act the part and pretend to care about what is right and just than actually genuinely do. It only ever becomes a serious concern when they are personally targeted.
You’re in a relationship with a powerful man, so powerful he is in the running for prime minister. It was all a bit of a whirlwind, the foundations for your relationship are rocky, not least because of his track record as a womaniser. He left another woman to be with you. He left another woman to be with her. He might eventually do the same to you so you have to really go that extra mile to keep him interested. He might push you about a bit, but then men do don’t they? You’ve grown up in world where toxic masculinity thrives, where secrets and lies bind you together instead of pushing you apart.
The violence is escalating, he doesn’t care as much as he used to about keeping it under wraps. Who would believe you anyway? Your neighbours might even have recorded evidence of an alleged assault, a thing they were pushed to do because they feared for your life. Yet still, you can’t quite name the problem because the gravity of the situation is overwhelming, the whole world knows your name and regardless of the facts or evidence, people have already made up their minds. So you consider damage control, and stage a photo opportunity where you seem engrossed in each other and oblivious to the assessments people are making of your intimate relationship, a scene entirely reminiscent of another case of gendered domestic violence, whether purposely or inadvertently, which leads to people questioning the authenticity of a such a spectacle, so soon after the incident, which had resulted in a safe and well check by the police.
Imagine you are Carrie Symonds and the privileged world you live in turns on you. You’re the reason he might not become prime minister, if you had just listened or done what it is you were told, he’d still be in the running. The 1% maintain their power with a polished veneer we rarely see past. If we knew the truth, how domestic abuse is rampant in the upper classes, much like child sex abuse, the whole sorry facade of British stoicism and civility would dissipate, and Britain would be just as bad as those Asian and African nations it loves to point fingers at.
Having supported 100s of victims of domestic abuse, I can say for certain the one thing that made my job easier and that of other agencies involved in the process, was the goodwill and bravery of witnesses who came to the rescue. The likes of Toby Young and Telegraph and Spiked columnists shamelessly refer to these acts of kindness as somehow being akin to the Stasi, in their typically hysterical and duplicitous way. These fragile snowflakes who demanded that milkshake throwers face the full arm of the law rushed to minimise gendered domestic abuse because violence against women is just a feature of their developmentally stunted lives. Toby Young can jizz to his dead heart’s content over underage girls and promote eugenics, safe in the knowledge that nepotism will save his mediocre arse. Is that the sort of person we believe in this country?
Friends of Boris at The Torygraph have suggested that Carrie Symonds may have staged these photos after the incident. It’s more like Johnson gave her the telling to of her life and issued an ultimatum to fix it. She may well have called the photographer, and paid them, but he’s still pulling the strings. Apparently they are in love, and this goes against the stories The Left are allegedly telling themselves. I repeat: it takes 33 attempts to leave an abuser, during which time you might still love them, and hope they will change. Perhaps Carrie thinks this sharp shock to the system might affect Boris’ behaviour, to think and act more carefully, even behind closed doors. This might just make Boris even more secretive and controlling, to avoid exposure like this again.
This relationship is doomed. It may take her many years to come to grips with it and shake herself free from its grasp.
If we’re looking at ‘evidence’, Julia, let’s consider the fact that non violent, non controlling relationships don’t usually result in a visit from the police. The people who made the report had sufficient concerns for her safety and well-being, if there was no evidence of an altercation the police would have said so and reprimanded the callers. To my knowledge, this did not occur.
The first response to Julia’s comment came right out of ‘the perpetrator’s guide to getting the police on side’. I can’t tell you how many times prolific perps, that is to say those who’ve had enough experience of the system to know how to play it, have said these exact words and used defensive wounds inflicted by the victim as evidence she initiated the attack. Luckily there are specialist domestic violence courts and professionals who’ve been trained to recognise these tactics, myself included (but this doesn’t help anyone when I am banned from social media).
Furthermore, we cannot advise people ignore violence if they are in the vicinity and can hear it loud and clear, ‘because it is none of their business’, that is how domestic abusers were able to run rings around the authorities as recently as the 90s. Not only that but this typically silencing behaviour is usually the purview of perpetrators. Non violent people who oppose violence do not ignore violence. This speaks to the decades of historic abuse where they all knew about it and nobody did a thing. Now we have a crisis as a nation of survivors and victims, authorities are ill equipped to deal with the fall out and senior officers of the law are even making unthinkable suggestions to let the past lie, because the present is all consuming.
There are two types of people in this world; those who abhor violence and are committed to calling it out and those who thrive on it, because it feels like home. We’re all telling on ourselves, one way or another.
It might just be me but there’s something strange about the way I was booted off Twitter (for as long as it usually takes to become yesterday’s news) on the very day two violent rich white men were splashed all over the news for gendered violence. I mean, it’s always a bit weird when I am ticked off for promoting bigoted hatred or inciting violence by a company that has actively fanned the flames of white supremacy and enabled Nazis when apparently they are not subject to the same rigorous vetting process opponents of white supremacy appear to be, but to silence me as an expert in gendered violence, at such a crucial time?
Tom Sleigh, a councillor for Bishopsgate in the City of London, was doing his utmost to protect his aggressive colleague and friend Mark Field, giving impassioned speeches about how threatened they all were, when a cursory glance at his TL the night before revealed how unfazed he had been by it all.
Perhaps he took umbrage at my daring, that I would forget my place and not fear their wrath. A 7 day ban for a hyperbolic tweet in which I was fairly measured compared to all the other responses it had garnered (a trophy hunting monster, unrepentant, threatening to kill more giraffes) is a bit excessive. Especially given the way they could not chastise me for my tweets on the matter in hand, so went trawling through my history, looking for the slightest thing they could twist to their advantage.
It might have been Tom, then again it could have been ‘Aunt Lydias’ Laura Kuenssberg or Julia Fartley Sewer. It might have been Iain Martin or even Charlotte Gill of The Times. Whoever it was, they defended violence against women in order to maintain their power. They keep dropping the bar, lowering standards for us all.
The following day we had the likes of Toby Young claiming the Stasi had it in for domestic abuser Boris Johnson. I’m well aware that the law exists only to punish the poorest in society whereas the upper classes are given carte blanche to behave as criminally as they like. Violence against a domestic partner is illegal and an arrestable offence, even if the victim doesn’t want to press charges. We have decades of experience telling us that victims often won’t press charges because there is a threat of further violence for going against the perpetrator. The worst incidents of violence usually occur after a woman leaves an abusive partner, 76% face a repeat incident post separation. It was decided that courts can enforce justice in cases where victims could be manipulated into withdrawing their allegations. The burden is placed on the authorities not the victim. In this way, we were able to hold more perpetrators to account. This is why it is crucial that neighbours report violence. In the absence of a doctor’s report or other professional testimonies, reports from witnesses suffice in a court of law. Imagine how loud they must have been for their neighbours to actually record it. They’re not living in a council building made of breeze blocks, the walls aren’t paper thin and from what I’ve seen it’s completely detached? They might have saved her life, those neighbours. I am grateful to them for their bravery and moral compass. We all have a duty to call out gendered violence wherever we see/hear it.
Carrie Symonds is probably never going to report her abuser. It takes on average 33 attempts for a victim/survivor to finally work up the courage to leave. For many victims, to have that abuse acknowledged when they cannot speak up, is a relief. I can’t say for sure whether she has tried to leave but I do know the neighbours reporting it on her behalf may have significantly cut the length of this process for her. She is no longer suffering in silence, the truth is out. Not that we ever thought that differently of notorious misogynist Johnson.
One of the first things Boris Johnson did in his role as mayor was to axe the role of Women’s Advisor at City Hall and five posts from the London Domestic Violence Strategy Team. He also removed £90,000 from the budget almost immediately. Given that this project had contributed to a 57% reduction in domestic abuse murders, one can only come to the natural conclusion that Boris hates women, and engages in gendered violence not only on a personal level but is actually a danger to us all. The Safer Travel at Night Board also got the chop, regardless of the fact it had ensured a 46% reduction in cab related sexual offences. The London Childcare Unit which provided support for low income families, 90% of them women, was also abolished.
At every turn, Boris has demonstrated his contempt for women. Perhaps this is why I was suspended, because I would have reminded you of his track record, and I was doing such a great job of shaming the defenders of Mark Field’s vaw, they feared I’d be in my element with Boris. I’ve tried to search for and so far failed to find the footage of Johnson actually making a joke about domestic violence on, I believe it was, Newsnight, with Paxman calling him out. Of course there is a footnote on Google explaining how some results have been removed under EU law.
What kind of person would defend such a monster? A nithing like Toby Billy No Mates Young of course. It suddenly makes sense why he has no friends, you are the company you keep after all, and I wouldn’t want to be judged for him.
Beware the Violent Rich White Men™, they have the power to deny everything and make it all your fault. Twitter is clearly in cahoots.
I think a few rich white men were offended by my tweets regarding white male violence against women and how easy it is for them to evade justice. I’ve just been suspended from Twitter again (for 7 days, during which I cannot tweet, only DM), for another hyperbolic tweet I’d completely forgotten about. I’m speaking in relation to trophy hunters, overwhelmingly rich and white and murderous. Nobody reported it at the time, presumably because nobody cares but what are facts when you’re trying to silence someone long enough for it to be yesterday’s news?
(the image featured a white woman holding a dead giraffe, apparently unrepentant, saying she would do it again)
As most of you know, I worked in DV services for near a decade, supporting women through the justice system, advocating on their behalf. I came into contact with women from all walks of life and learnt a lot about what to look for when there are no obvious signs of abuse because victims don’t tend to go shouting it from the rooftops. I learnt about how society enables abusers, how patriarchal societies are skewed in men’s favour, so that even violence against women and children is justified in order to maintain power. We provided a service for which there should not have been a need, that is, to ensure that public authorities were doing their duties correctly and to minimise further harm to vulnerable women and their children. A sad indictiment of British society, that we should need to constantly reiterate duty of care to agencies to prevent repeat incidents and educate them about the various types of abusers.
If there’s one thing I know intimately, it’s an abuser. I was raised by them, I was engaged to them, I watched many of them being sentenced for hurting my clients. Gendered violence knows no cultural racial religious or economic bounds (poverty doesn’t cause DV, just exacerbates it). Often the worst offenders are the people you are least likely to think of as violent, because they have a good job, went to a good school and move in the right circles. There is a higher prevalence of violence in males working public jobs in policing and justice. It felt counterintuitive to trust these people with vulnerable women but there were no other options. Just like it feels wrong to trust in the British state and government, people with the power to act with impunity, to claim up is down.
We all saw the footage of Mark Field handling the Greenpeace activist. As victims and survivors of gendered violence we were triggered, because we’ve seen that look before in an abuser’s eyes. We know that he’s done it before, it was so instinctual for him to grab her around her the neck. In the standard test for victims of DV, the CAADA (co-ordinated action against domestic abuse) DASH (domestic abuse, stalking and honour based violence) specifically asks whether the perpetrator has ever strangled or put their hands around the victim’s neck. This is because statistically, men who target the neck area are threatening to kill their victim. There is a correlation between men who strangle and domestic homicide. A yes reply would result in an instant referral to a MARAC (multi agency risk assessment conference) regardless of whether any of the other criteria was satisified. This fact cannot be downplayed by the defenders of violence against women, regardless of whether have a column in The Times or attended the Banker’s dinner.
When talking heads like these, with their privilege, and platforms use their power to deny abuse, as they have done with racism these past few years, incidents of violence increase. Violence trickles down, from parent to child, from the toffs to the underclass. They’re so keen to normalise violence, these very damaged adult children, because they took it when it happened to them, and didn’t complain, choosing instead to identify with their abusers. They are not normal, they are disordered, they believe violence against women can be justified.
..Except when the perpetrators are black or brown, then there are calls for collective punishment. We need to speak truthfully about the violence of white men and why it has been a badly kept secret for 100s of years. We know child sex abuse is endemic but we’re yet to accept the same of gendered violence, not when there are so many lazy stereotypes of poc to so easily buy into.
Given that there is a causal link between domestic abuse and terrorism, aren’t you reassured Field is the Minister of State for Asia and the Pacific? No? Me neither.
(The Greenpeace activist, Janet Baker, is quoted as saying Mark Field should go for anger management classes. I would advise against this as research suggests that perpetrators of gendered violence use them to hone their power and control, making them even more difficult to detect)
For the past fortnight or so, victims of Kiwi Farms have been reaching out to Brendan Eich and staff at Brave to see if we could appeal to their humanity and make them understand, that a group of nazi incels who’ve targeted over 1700 people for the purpose of harassment and stalking – owing to their protected characteristics – is wrong and should not be enabled via their service. It has taken many months if not years to have Joshua Conner Moon and his merry band of fledgling terrorists removed from social media platforms, they’ve had free reign for so long.
We’re not stupid, we know there’s a high likelihood we are appealing to the very same people who set up and bankrolled the nazis. They’re all white men, from the same corners of the world, with the same chip on their shoulder about their alleged supremacy. They run Twitter and Facebook, as I found out this morning when I tried to log on and was met with this screen.
They reported these tweets, clearly hyperbolic, but they will argue their feelings were hurt and it gave them undue stress because if there is one thing white men are good at, it’s playing the victim. That second tweet it looks like I’m advocating for the killing of Muslims, that I’m targeting Muslims, but I was referring to Aung San Suu Kyi and how she will never kill all the Muslims, they will prevail. Imagine punishing *me* for attacking Muslims.. These tweets are old, nothing to do with them. That means someone went through my entire feed to try and find *something* to beat me with. They sure are rattled.
Brendan Eich referred to us as trolls and reported us for harassment, which is a fucking irony given that this is exactly what we have been subjected to for a number of years, abuses that Eich himself is extending by allowing Kiwi Farms the means by which to get funding. Eich wants to get rich off all the nazis, paedophiles and terrorist monsters the rest of the web have been forced to reject.
He’s found his niche, having invested $30 million of his own money into the business, Eich is neither ignorant to the pernicious nature of these forums nor does he care, he just wants to profit off them. It would seem as though Brendan Eich is building a business for the sole purpose of funding Nazis like Joshua Conner Moon when other streams run dry. Eich refuted the claims on Twitter saying:
Considering it’s on the front page of Yahoo News, I’d think about suing.
Brendan Eich and his ilk need to be reminded we live in a world where tolerance is a peace treaty; in a civilised society we have laws to remind us of our limits, otherwise the entire structure falls down. If we are attacked we have the right to self defence. If our friends and families are fair game, then so are theirs.
We refuse to be victimised anymore, we’re taking back that power. Anything else would mean admitting defeat and letting these cowards win.
(Well Brendan, if the world was actually working and rules mattered, and laws had been applied, you’d have a point. No justice, no peace)
Brave software, providers of ‘safe web browsers’ are the latest tech company to face our collective ire for their continuing support of nazi incel forum Kiwi Farms and their fascist followers. We have appealed to them via Twitter and email to acknowledge their part in the promotion and proliferation of cyberbullying platform Kiwi Farms and their creator Joshua Conner Moon but they have ignored us.
Brave has provided Moon with a link (that I won’t be sharing). When followers of Moon click this link they are able to download a web browser for safer surfing and donate funds to Kiwi Farms. Moon is having to come up with ever more creative methods to keep his hateful enterprise afloat and the net is closing in.
Brave software is enabling fascism and hate directed at vulnerable people. They have failed to respond to our requests so now we must escalate it to the next step.