Halal? Is it me you’re cooking for?

There are 2 billion Muslims in the world, the majority of them observing halal practices such as the slaughter of animals for food or redistribution of wealth (for example). Halal means permissible, whether this refers to consumption of food products or platonic interactions between the sexes or a bank account that does not accumulate interest, these conditions protect the rights of all human beings to a fair and healthy life.

Muslims, like Jews, and even some Christian factions do not consume pork which is deemed haraam, a sin. Contrary to popular myth it is not because it is a dirty animal but because pork is a perishable meat and prone to parasites like trichinella. From a health perspective it made sense to avoid it 1500-2000 years ago in the middle east but in these times of modern refrigeration and advances in microbiology this argument falls short for those of us who trust in science. God gave us the guidelines, sure, but he also gave us a brain. However, halal does not only refer to the animals that are permitted but the way in which they are slaughtered. There is nothing inherently haraam about a chicken but it is not halal until it is drained of blood in a specific way, whilst the butcher also recites a prayer. Chicken that is prepared for human consumption using western methods is referred to as ‘makruh’, a ‘disliked’ or ‘offensive’ act but in my personal experience, it is not so offensive to some Muslims. In places where halal food is not readily available, makruh is acceptable. The consumption of meat is sunnah; a tradition or way of doing things as the prophet did. There are guidelines for halal marriage and a sunnah to observe, the wedding party should be fed a meal of at least one sheep. Meat consumption is central to a Muslim’s way of life (although there are further hadiths – kinda like the gospels – warning of the dangers of consuming too much).

It bothers me then, that so many white supremacist westerners see fit to take issue with the way other people conduct their faith. Halal rage is a tried and tested trick to whip fascists into a frenzy over faux concerns for animal welfare and Toblerone is the latest to face their ire. A halal certification does not mean a product contains halal ingredients necessarily, it just means it is not haraam. Air is halal. Water is halal. Breathe and drink to your heart’s content unless you are a white supremacist I guess.

It’s not animal welfare they’re concerned with though, if it were they’d start closer to home and consider all the horrific animal abuses Europeans are guilty of, and do something about it. Take Ortolan, the French ‘delicacy’ whereby the bird is placed in a dark cage where it reacts by gorging itself on grain. Once it is sufficiently stuffed it is thrown into a vat of Armagnac where it drowns and marinates. Diners place a napkin on their heads to hide their shame from God yet this practice evades the attention of rabid racists. The French are frogs except when they are white nationalists and allies to other white supremacists. It’s perfectly fine to force feed geese and ducks until their livers are so fatty and diseased they can be sold as a delicacy for exorbitant amounts.

The French are not alone in their barbaric butchery. In Spain lechon, or suckling pig is slaughtered between the ages of 2 and 6 weeks. The method of slaughter is harrowing, the squealing babies are impaled then thrown onto a heap of dying gurgling piglets. It is slow and torturous, from the moment they are torn from their mother’s teat – hence the name lechon, leche meaning milk – and slaughtered without a glance back to witness the suffering or even acknowledge it as such. With hellish conduct like this it is bizarre to consider the comparatively humane method of halal slaughter – and indeed kosher – as somehow more offensive to the genteel sensibilities of the enlightened European. Plucking newborn animals from their mothers maximizes suffering, whether lechon or veal, and it is forbidden in Islam.

No, the fascists don’t care much for the wellbeing of animals, they care only about white supremacy. The idea that there is a company going around, offering deals to manufacturers in exchange for favours, in this case halal certification, is not new. The fascists are afraid Muslims are doing to them what they did to the Muslim world (and beyond). They’re thinking about the East India Trading Company and all the sly manoeuvres they made, coming under the guise of merchants doing business, upending entire nations in the creation of white supremacist imperialism. Without the East India Trading Company there’d be no USA, no British empire, no divisions between the colonies they would subjugate and raze to the ground.

White supremacists don’t care if you kill animals for food, they want everyone to eat bacon sandwiches. Nope, they’re just afraid the chickens are coming home to roost.