A Woman’s World 2012

“What were you doing when the Olympics were here, grandma?”

What will I tell them? It is possible that I will say; I vehemently refused to be part of an event that actively encouraged division of the human race and placed insurmountable pressure on a few select individuals who were only as important as the medal they snatched from the claws of their sworn patriotic enemies and that my actions were confirmed to be the only plausible reaction to a persistent offender of misogyny, highlighting wherever possible how they’d ‘let the women’ do things like that man sport, boxing. Yes children, can you believe, in the 21st Century, the great Britons were obsessed with how the women actually performed exceptionally well on the world stage yet it still didn’t stop them from commenting on their beautiful smiles? I wished that Tom Daley would smile, just to see whether they’d comment on his but in my heart, I already knew… Men don’t smile…

What does a fat female Olympian look like? As a Snatch weight lifting competitor, you’d need to be a little on the heavier side for balance and strength, core stability and strong legs to support the weight of an average teenaged male. From a squatting position, one is required to lift the barbell to chest height and in one smooth action extend overhead and hold. Size 0 need not apply. Male weightlifters are barrel shaped and sturdy, females are just fat.

But Jessica Ennis, y’know, pretty, feminine Jessica, she’s fat too. Sporting a 6 pack most men would die for, Jessica is not rakishly thin. She treads the tightrope many of her compatriots have succumbed to, wanting to be taken seriously as an athlete in her own right whilst allowing the gutter press to photograph her applying her girly makeup. It gives her a ‘boost in confidence’, to run in a full face. Well, it’s one thing being called fat but ugly? It doesn’t bear thinking about. The pressures she and her teammates are under to conform to the disgusting standards set to us by the Western press are unachievable. They are, in fact, dangerous. The gruelling schedules they are subjected to, the many hours of training they have to put in; if they do not eat well, they will burn out. But since when did patriarchy care about the illnesses it has invented to control women?

“Obama applauds Saudi women Olympians.” A massive step forward for feminism..!

STOP. Stop holding the East up as an example of how shoddy brown women’s rights are when I’m still opening my free English newspaper up to the words “The sisterhood knows how to celebrate a win. When it comes to girls scoring goals and women winning gold, the female athletes at London 2012 have no shame in showing each other the love. Here’s the best of the girl-on-girl action.” Lesbians. That’s what I’m thinking now. And so are you.

“I did not watch any of the nudge-nudge girls’ volleyball.” And there you have it. Bruce Anderson, Tory rent-a-gob actually manages to get himself published on the Conservative Home Blog (why I am so surprised at this, I don’t understand) saying what he and many other Tories – no doubt – really think about women. “It sounds a charming digression from the more serious events (how dare you dude?). But girls’ boxing: no. That sounds indecent. In the nineteenth century, we prevented females from working as coal-miners. That was an advance in civilisation. Now, we are allowing female boxers. That is regression. The whole notion is deeply squalid. Above all, it is nothing to do with feminism. Feminism insists that women should have the right to stand alongside men in scrutinising the farthest frontiers of the universe, the tiniest sub-atomic particles. Feminists should demand equality of opportunity in the arts, in commerce, in law, in politics. Not in the boxing-ring, lest they lose contact with femininity. Any girl who feels uncontrollable pugnacious impulses need not despair. She could always try to emulate Margaret Thatcher.” (Bet they laughed at her behind her back).

When will men stop defining feminism, femininity and stop referring to themselves as we and us as females?

..Possibly when they stop seeing us a threat.

The crux of the matter is that patriarchy bullies women into submission. It cannot let us believe that we are valid and worthy of international praise based on our skills and abilities. Patriarchy is fixated with the way we look; it has made it so that our popularity is heavily dependent on how attractive we are to men. If there are physically strong women giving out a righteous message of solidarity and independence, it messes with their power and control structure. They are scared. And despite my anti Olympics stance, this makes me very happy. The Olympics haven’t shown us how far we women have come; it’s shown us how utterly afraid patriarchy is.

Well done Team Woman. We’re winning.

*Bruce Anderson also believes in child abuse and violence against women (just google him and ‘torture’).

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