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The Unabashed Racist Sexism of Twitter

Twitter has locked me out of my account today because of this tweet:

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They say it violates their rules and I have to delete it before they’ll reinstate me but I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to delete it because Twitter allows these people even after they make personal threats against me:

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I get emails informing me that personal threats to find/kill/rape me and racist/sexist bullying doesn’t violate anything to their mind so I’m not going to play this game where they want me to submit despite the many levels of hell I’ve endured.

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Twitter is a platform for entitled white men. They’ve used it to racially sexually harass me ever since I first joined. I stopped expecting their outrage on my behalf a long time ago, what I am perplexed by on this occasion is the insistence that I can make it all go away if I just delete what I said, to take it back, to erase it. No, I will not. That tweet was in response to a white male who wanted to take pictures of my ‘pretty Arab feet’ from which I might make more money than my ‘crappy self named blog’ who’d referred to me as a cunt and a whore and other racially motivated slurs yet managed to retain his account.

I had threatened to raise hell if Twitter took issue with my use of the phrase ‘kill all men’ as it did when it blocked a woman of colour for using it recently so Twitter chose to make an example over a different sentiment.

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I don’t want to use a platform that is so blatantly skewed towards entitled white men. Like fuck them. I do however want to hit them where it hurts. Solidarity can be costly, it can keep us from doing all the things we so enjoy, in support of our principles, but it’s one of the only good things we have right now. I urge you to log out, if not for me then yourself, because this medium is a means of white supremacist control. It was an ordeal ridding myself of my FB account some months ago now but it was the best decision I ever made, standing up to an enabler of racist/sexist abuse. They justify their behaviour because of our continued reliance on their services despite the ways in which they use and sell us out.

As @qqasim89 says in his letter to Twitter “Banning a few prominent “alt-right” users is simply not good enough because you are now doing half the job for them by banning the active resistance. Please reinstate @SamAmbreen_ and make it clear that defending yourself is not a crime” because if they do not do this and I comply with their unreasonable request they have disempowered me and reinforced the message that entitled white males are free to do as they wish with the rest of us and there isn’t a thing we can do about it. Is this our reality now?

(If we normally keep in touch via Twitter, leave me a message in the comments below instead, I will be here for the foreseeable)

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How to prevent genocide

Whether or not you believed survivors of pre Brexit British Values one thing is for certain, most people have witnessed now the consequences of state propaganda and wilful apathy towards people who are not like us. Being a seat of power in the enlightened west doesn’t protect us from the greedy man and his pursuit for coercive power and control, it merely delays the inevitable. It makes it easier even. For years the British press and various personalities on Twitter have denied the persecution of British minorities with the excuse that debate is a pillar of any civilised society, conveniently excluding said minorities from sharing their experiences. To make matters worse they depicted a scenario where they were being bullied and oppressed by minorities for protesting the ways in which they were being misrepresented (the free speech demonstration attended by Namazie and Tatchell springs to mind). This is called propaganda. It is a tactic used by powerful aggressors to incite divisions in order to take the spotlight off their inhumane behaviour. Most Britons happily fell for it.

Then Brexit happened and Polish people were targeted. Foreign white NHS staff were threatened with lists. An Irish woman was told she needed to provide additional identification because she was a foreign national, her fear and outrage both palpable and oddly familiar. It’s impossible for me not to feel just a smidgen of bitterness towards these people. Who will speak up for you now they have come for you, when you didn’t speak up for all the others? Marmite has had more support in this one day than Britain’s minorities have had since the Tories seized power. This misanthropy will come back 10 fold on the citizens of rainy fascist island. We’re seeing the first shockwaves from our devalued currency; Unilever has withdrawn its products from Tesco’s shelves because the latter refused to increase prices. What kind of evil corporate entity rushes to capitalise on the misfortunes of the poorest in society? Capitalism is murder, by default, it squeezes the life out of those at the bottom, starves them to death.

Perhaps now you will look to this model without sneering. The 8 stages of genocide are laid out to remind us we have been here before, but there are strategies to prevent or halt this jaunt down fascism street. Still, I will break it down so there is no confusion.

CLASSIFICATION – Categorising Asian people, all of them, as pakis and therefore Muslims has enabled violence against British Asians ranging in colour from beige to dark brown, whether Muslim, Sikh or Hindu and non believers like myself. Islamophobia, openly encouraged on public platforms from national treasures like Richard Dawkins, David Starkey, Katie Hopkins etc should have been widely condemned by their peers when they said it was not racist to criticise Islam. The west has conflated the people of the Asian subcontinent with Islam > Arabs > Taliban > Al Qaeda > Terrorism, they have racialised a belief system as they did with Jewish people pre Holocaust, who were as varied in their origins. The media could have played a part in informing society of the differences in people, that the actions of one do not reflect millions of others and should have condemned the practice of collective punishment instead of surreptitiously fanning the flames.

SYMBOLISATION – The west has long held a grudge against the visible differences we have with each other. Their stance is not only that they disapprove of other cultures but that other cultures must bow to superior western values on most things. The burqa is considered the ultimate symbol of oppression to enlightened westerners who never thought to question BBC narratives. This item of clothing is now a beacon to racists everywhere who cannot appreciate the irony of beating on women they believe need saving. To the women who choose to wear it it has become a two finger salute to those who would seek to control them. Bottom line, we must always condemn the practice of controlling the rights of women to freely express their beliefs. The rights of women to wear whatever the hell they want – no exceptions. That some feminists from the middle class white arena object to the clothes other women wear is a sign that maybe their feminism isn’t inclusive at all and maybe isn’t even feminism at all but white supremacy.

Immigrants fare no better in a system that seeks to control how we view people. At the beginning of this year, asylum seeking residents in the North East of England feared they were being marked out for easy identification when G4S, notorious contractors noted for their human rights abuses, painted their doors red which had already led to abuse from local communities. Actions such as these must come as a shock to all, contractors must lose their contracts for engaging in this dangerous activity. We have the power to hold them legally responsible, we can ban hate symbols and speech if they lead to criminal activity, as it has many times before.

DEHUMANISATION – People have a natural aversion to the taking of life, it’s all a bit close to home UNLESS you dehumanise targets so they do not trigger the instinct to protect. If you label them vermin, parasites they become easier to dispose of. These processes take years. Katie Hopkins should be legally held to account for the ways in which she has dehumanised people fleeing wars we created. People like Trump need to be held accountable by the international community, not allowed a platform from which to spew his hateful diatribe, never mind stand for president.

If you do not condemn hate at every juncture, if you think it has nothing to do with you, you’re wrong, we’re all connected. Denying one person, one group their humanity has a knock on effect throughout society, especially if done in the public eye. Precedents are set. It is better to suffocate narratives which dehumanise even one, we’re simply not evolved enough to hold it there.

The British government must be held to account for the ways in which it herds non nationals like cattle and tortures them, including pregnant women, at centres like Yarlswood. The UN must do a better job of fulfilling its original purpose, that is to implement human systems and incarcerate those who seek to degrade humanity. Prevention rather than cure was the intention and yet we are still waiting.

Broadcasters have a responsibility here too. Stop pushing far right narratives, BBC. Stop glorifying empire and supporting Nigel Farage. Similarly print journalists have their part in subtly reinforcing their desire for white supremacy, language that only refers to the white working class and asks for a Farage of The Left must be highlighted and ridiculed, if not criminalised. 21st century fascists have amended their behaviour so you cannot instantly mark them out as a racist/fascist. The commentariat may not use racial slurs but they do a brilliant job of gatekeeping and subliminal propaganda, or microaggressions.

ORGANISATION – Hate groups like Britain First must be proscribed. With the state hesitant to do this they encouraged it to propagate and proliferate. This way when the far right attacks, the British government can pretend it is innocent of any atrocities. Jo Cox, a serving MP was murdered in broad daylight by someone espousing Britain First ideology during his frenzied attack. In the months that have followed we have learnt of her inclusivity and her heart. She was targeted for these, because she believed our shared humanity unites us.

The far right have been organising and mobilising since the death of Lee Rigby when the state and media propaganda painted a situation that called for drastic action. Yougov polls excluded British poc, the PM called on Cobra, it was framed as an unprecedented attack even though it was the second of its kind in his lifetime. Our numbers were abysmally low for the counter demonstrations against hate marches the far right imposed on our towns and cities, the length and breadth of Britain, even when we begged and pleaded with those who do have the power to change things to make their support known.

The cops, media, politicians and far right have a symbiotic relationship. If even one of these were to properly stand against hate the whole hellish system would collapse.
It should concern us all that our failed state is such a prolific supplier of arms to war torn nations. Where is the UN and its arms embargo of nations engaging in genocide? Must we experience the genocide first in order to qualify?

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POLARISATION – Anyone who promotes this idea of ‘us’ and ‘them’, people like Katie Hopkins and those who state they merely wish to take care of British workers first are choosing to exploit the idea that it is not racist to put white people first. In a poll I conducted this past week, 25% of people answered no when asked if Britain was racist. Despite the murders, propaganda, the significant increases in attacks following media lies a large number of Brits believe Britain is not racist. They’re just defending their loot, even if it means considering other human beings as less worthy of resources (that were stolen from them most likely). This earth is not just for white people, it belongs to us all. There is no us and them, only the greedy bastards accustomed to evading responsibility for their own murderous actions, happy to let you die for them.

PREPARATION – At the recent Tory party conference in Birmingham the PM reinforced the usual racism but home secretary Amber Rudd took it one step further. In a move that would suddenly jolt slumbering Brits into action, she called for companies to draw up lists of their foreign workers. Non British LSE academics were informed by government representatives their input was no longer required. Suddenly the majority of people could no longer ignore the cow bells heralding in fascism, not when their French, German, Spanish etc workers lives were under threat of expulsion. This, my dears, has been the harsh reality for Britain’s Asian population since 9/11. Our lives have been scrutinised, we exist only at their behest, and the world has largely allowed it. My gran, rest her soul, came to this country in the 60s and she never let go of the fear they would get rid of us once we’d served our purpose. This inhumanity has been extended to Europeans and no one likes it, nor should they. Such a blatant attack on those we don’t usually target is a worrying sign the establishment don’t give a shit.

“At this stage a genocide emergency must be declared”.

Whilst methods differ and we cannot always be sure who they’re coming for next, we cannot deny the British government has allowed for its own citizens to be picked off by the state because they no longer qualify for additional support. People are dying from starvation in Great Britain, 1000s have perished when their mental, physical needs were denied. If we are to judge a country on the way it treats the most vulnerable, international condemnation should rain hard on this fascist island.

EXTERMINATION – If we’ve reach this stage, I’m not sure there’s anything else I can add other than fuck you, Britain and fuck you, world. In the words of my favourite communist sister “I hope the exit is  joyful quick and I hope never to return.”

DENIAL – The thing about fascists is they’re ultimately cowards, strong as a mob, weak and pathetic on their own. They never admit to their involvement even if they were the sole judge jury and executioner. Many would rather die at their own hand than ever be captured by the opposition and held to account. These stages of genocide are not static, there isn’t only one way this can go. Sometimes genocide is quick and over before you even know it began, other times it is a long and arduous process, frustrating because of the way denial plays a huge part. People will use slurs then say those slurs are not racist and the majority will go with that. It is the majority that call outcomes, the fence sitters, the anti intellectuals who are happy to take your word because you share certain identifiers. It is the intelligentsia who control the majority, through their newspapers and radio slots, prime time news on the telly. Ours are mostly bigoted white supremacists and it’s their fault we are discussing genocide in this day and age. They are neoliberals who cannot distinguish between far right thugs and antifa or empathise with the women and children they bomb in Syria. They must take back all their words and publicly condemn this government, not hold it up as feminist or revolutionary in any way.

UPDATE: It’s been brought to my attention this model has been revised. It now includes 2 further stages; DISCRIMINATION and PERSECUTION. No doubt amended to accurately reflect 21st century methods of fascism. I particularly commend the author’s stance on the words ‘counter terrorism’.

This Oct. 16, 2012 photo shows author J.K. Rowling at an appearance to promote her latest book "The Casual Vacancy," at The David H. Koch Theater in New York. Rowling, the popular author of the "Harry Potter" series, spoke for just over an hour before a capacity crowd in her sole U.S. public appearance to promote her first novel for grownups.  (Photo by Dan Hallman/Invision/AP)

JK Rowling and the Order of the British Empire

In this capitalist world where celebrity is everything, endorsements from the rich and famous can win or lose an election. Part of the reason Brexit was such a shambles was the utterly confusing mix of ‘idealist’ lefties and unapologetic bigots all on the same side. This is not to say I believe Galloway is an idealist or even a leftie for that matter but he says he is (even though I had some trouble reconciling this idea with the images of him sharing a platform with Nigel Farage). Whatever the leftie Brexiters thought they were doing, they weren’t prepared for the violent backlash against anyone deemed not English enough and in the weeks that followed there were some heartfelt retractions and apologies. Turns out if you ally with right wing fascists you only lend credence to their cause.

Perhaps this is why people like JK Rowling believe hard left and hard right are one in the same; they saw some of them mingling together for good ol’ Blighty and imagined the need for independence was unifying, they can work together so long as they kick back at the uber state. Personally I couldn’t understand how anyone could claim to be left yet relish the idea of having a national identity, separate from the rest of Europe because we are Englanders and we should be proud of such greatness. Nothing leftie about that if you ask me. Nationalism is not socialism but I can see why it could be so confusing for so many, this theory that the far left and the far right come together like a horse shoe. I can see why people would think in this way but I have to add, it is a bit of a reach and sounds like the opinion of people who repeat truisms parrot fashion. It sounds like the brain fart of someone who has never attended a counter demo against a far right rally for if they had they would know that the far right are always the first to attack and it is on the far left to defend. The far left resort to violence because it has been proven through history fascists only respond to this kind of protest; you can ask them nicely to leave and see where that gets you.

Far right knuckle-heads repeatedly threaten communities where the population is majority non white. Far left comrades; black, white, brown, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Atheists, LGBTQ, disabled and many others defend these communities because we know an attack on one group is an attack on us all. Do not tar these very distinct groups with the same brush, JK and friends, it only magnifies your political ignorance and detachment from reality.

Neoliberals, Blairites, Red Tories etc would like for us to accept this idea they know what’s best for us, even though they haven’t the slightest interest in what makes us who we are. I want to talk about JK Rowling specifically because she was presented as their ace card – surely no one would dare question the almighty creator of Hogwarts, they assumed. With such a huge following I guess they thought we’d listen to her. Well, actually, a bunch of us were going to notice JK making false equivalencies between antifascists and fascists especially when she has a track record of ignoring minority voices pleading with her to honour their cultural practices and not misappropriate native ideas. This white lady with immense privilege routinely blocks brown people for saying she is stealing their culture and not compensating them for it. Heck, she isn’t even acknowledging it. It does feel suspicious doesn’t it, when we say it out loud and join the dots? A white lady picking and choosing how she would like to represent ethnic minorities, ignoring their protests at being misrepresented, hinting at the fact they and their supporters are just as bad as the white supremacists who would have us all wiped out.. It’s not just me, is it?

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Couple this with the fact that Blairites seem to glaze over whenever you bring up the Iraq war and the devastatingly harrowing legacy we left behind, choosing instead to vote for more bombs then gushing sycophantically about how much richer they got under Blair.. We cannot lay claim to greatness as an island until the war criminal has been held to account. We cannot claim to be a democracy when up to 2 million people were silenced when they marched to Stop the War. We cannot turn our backs when generations of Iraqi children are condemned.

When racists mock non whites for having a chip on their shoulder, for rinsing their oppression dry with the excuse “it was all a very long time ago and I wasn’t there, don’t blame me” they are choosing to ignore the ways in which non white cultures are still being carved up for mass consumption, rewarding the Columbusing white purveyor whilst various ethnic majorities struggle to ensure our basic survival. All she had to do was listen and come to an agreement with the people she is using to propel her successes; to give back what she took from them, in a manner befitting the native tradition. She actively chooses to ignore them. It’s why I had to interject when I saw JK conversing with an old time hero of mine, Sanjeev Bhaskar, in response to a Twitter user asking how he felt about JK supporting racist Blairites. His response was in earnest but coupled with the subsequent tweet from JK it presented Sanjeev in the light of a token brown person, his testament erasing the many voices who feel JK has profited from our ideas and stifled debate from the very people it concerns. Kudos to Sanjeev, I appreciated his frank replies to me, and the exchange prompted me to write this post, something I have been avoiding this past week, partly due to the inevitable white knighting from scary dudebros if they chance upon it but also because it would be ignorant of me to leave out the bit where I admonish the usual suspects for their erasure of the important points being made here. Of course Helen Lewis and Laurie Penny were going to circle jerk their support for this beloved children’s author of whom we’re all just jealous, for being so smart and original. The same faces who’ve systematically erased and silenced poc protesting erasure and silencing have propped each other up to the exclusion of everyone who is not rich, white and not famous.

They can’t have Sanjeev Bhaskar, not when already they have Panju.

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Further reading:

National Geographic – Native Americans to JK “We’re not magical”

Magic in North America Part 1 – Ugh

Natives in America – Dear JK Rowling: We’re still here

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Brexit was an opinion poll, nothing more

Brexit has caused ‘economic PTSD’!

Brexit has forced the Tories to retreat from austerity!

Brexit has broken everything.

Whilst these headlines are presented as facts they actually mean very little. What is economic PTSD? Do you suffer flashbacks to the EURef whenever your eye accidentally catches the Euro symbol on your keyboard perhaps? Maybe the Tories will start throwing cash at everything now, they couldn’t have foreseen the collapse of our economy, not even with all the world class economists on speed dial. Also, when they say Britain has broken *EVERYTHING*, define ‘everything’. Do they really mean ‘every’ ‘thing’ as in every little thing that ever existed? Or do they mean everything that exists to their knowledge, so anything outside their sphere of experience isn’t actually a ‘thing’?

I’ll tell you something else Brexit hasn’t caused; racism. In the days that followed the referendum racism became impossible to ignore, only because the racists widened the net to include Poles, other European ‘migrants’ and people who don’t ‘look Muslim’. Brexit did make one thing absolutely clear; Britain is racist, of this there can be no question now but did it actually cause the racist violence prevalent today on Britain’s streets? Of course not. The majority of people targeted by the far right have been Muslim and many thousands of these incidents occurred before Brexit, before Zac Goldsmith’s racist mayoral campaign, before the racist van even.

I was personally racially abused on a London bus in 2013. The passengers on the packed night bus sided with the racists on that occasion, it was a frightening experience for me and my white friend. When I shared the incident through social media right wingers and liberals alike decided I had no right to defend myself against racism and listed all the things they imagined had happened instead of my eyewitness account. In fact every time I spoke about racism on the internet I was either ignored or targeted in malicious campaigns to silence me. I reported racism to the police and they responded with an informal caution for saying ‘kill all men’. Where were the defenders of freeze peach when I was deemed ineligible for support because I exercised my right to say whatever I feel? What possible justification did West Midlands Police have for blocking me on social media? The authorities turned their back on me when I needed the law, racism is in fact illegal and a punishable offence. It went by unchallenged though and emboldened racists to escalate their attacks against me.

With every inaction, every no holds barred ‘debate’ on immigration and attacks on people the mainstream can’t stomach; disabled people, trans people, refugees fleeing catastrophes we caused, the proud British racist was given the nod to abuse anyone he doesn’t personally like. He thought the referendum would decide whether or not immigrants would be made to LEAVE, in fact he knew nothing about the EU and our part in it.  The violent racism we have all witnessed the past few days has been picked up because the people with the power to spread information (or misinformation if we’re being honest) decided to publish it on their platforms. They keep the spotlight on it. If they had done the same for Muhsin Ahmed, Mohammed Saleem, Nahid Almanea perhaps we wouldn’t be in this nightmare scenario today.

If Richard Dawkins et al hadn’t been so focused on bashing Muslims at every opportunity, maybe we wouldn’t have been quick to ‘other’ European migrants. If Helen Lewis and her ilk had listened instead of ‘literally not giving a shit’ and monstering, othering and silencing marginalised groups they might have heard how we were suffering for many years before the rise of fascism went mainstream. Heck they might even have tried including us in their ‘debates’ so we could provide a suitable counter argument instead of the circle jerk that is the neoliberal mainstream media. Had David Cameron refrained from making Muslim mums the target for his racist crusades, others may not have seen fit to abuse them too. If Katie Hopkins never existed in the first place brown people wouldn’t have been dehumanised and reduced to vermin in a national newspaper.

Despite the many comparisons on the internet between the ‘journalism’ we are subjected to today and the hate speech which was the norm prior to the Holocaust there were still liberals and lefties calling Godwin and accusing us of attention seeking cos we’re all after a book deal (says a lot about the accusers in my opinion). Various national treasures feigned ignorance, going as far as to defend their use of racial slurs with the argument it is not in fact racist to say the p and n words (John Terry, Prince Harry, Anton du Beke, Jeremy Clarkson, India Knight etc made it commonplace where once it was censored). Theresa May justified her creepy racist van asking foreigners how we could make it easy for them to go home, because the British people insisted it wasn’t racist to talk about immigration controls. She can make even a British person stateless, if they are suspected of ‘terrorism’. Britain First, even after their proven links with Jo Cox’s killer, is not yet referred to as the terrorist militia it clearly is so I can only imagine it will be non whites who live with the threat of statelessness. When you make a person stateless it becomes easier to dehumanise them.

These aren’t projected fears, these behaviours have been identified as dangerous because human behaviour is formulaic. If x happens then y is sure to follow. Human beings have proved again and again, through various historical genocides that ‘othering’, that is to say polarisation of groups, ‘us’ and ‘them’ inevitably leads to dehumanisation then mass killings. On the flipside this means we can prevent atrocities if we are honest about the horrors around us. Try and get an honest answer out of a journalist or politican though and you’ll see why we are condemned to this Tory enabled Brexit wasteland. They’re all in it together, to the detriment of us plebs.

At every twist and turn we have raised flags and pleaded with powerful people to recognise “we have far more in common with each other than that which divides us” (as the late Jo Cox once said) and they responded with control; denying our experiences, denying our very existence and charging on without us, full steam ahead. We’ve been discarded and abandoned for demanding equality. The same people carry on today as though they are innocent of any wrongdoing and as shocked as the rest of us at all the worrying reports.

It is never too late to admit you have white privilege and make amends with those you have wronged. If you cannot humble yourself and put others first, you carry us further down this beaten path of iniquity, still against our will. There are those who’d rather we all perished than relinquish even a little of their power and control, and this thought should frighten us all.

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Jo Cox’s death was entirely preventable

Update: Jo was due to report on the 80% rise in Islamophobic attacks, mostly against women. I believe this attack was planned and she was targeted by the far right specifically.

As the nation waited with bated breath to hear whether Jo Cox MP would survive the gun and knife attack she was subjected to by right wing terrorist Thomas Mair, journalists busied themselves with the sort of apologism we have come to expect from them. Despite numerous eyewitness reports from the scene of the crime confirming the attacker had shouted ‘Britain First’, right wing and neoliberal quarters of the British press refused to acknowledge the white supremacist fascism they personally enabled in the backlash to the murder of Lee Rigby.

In the 3 years since he was brutally murdered, hundreds if not thousands of innocent Muslims, mainly women, children and the elderly have been targeted by right wing extremists the length and breadth of our sinking island. Tell Mama has provided us with reports every step of the way, they have advocated on behalf of many victims, a service that is valued and necessary given that people of colour have a general mistrust of the police, an institution not exactly lauded for its handling of hate crimes against non whites. I knew the police would refuse me support when I reported the many incidents of racist abuse and threats to kill me, but I did it anyway for the paper trail, and to prove to everyone I was doing everything in my power to keep safe. When the police blocked me on Twitter and sent me an informal caution for my political beliefs I knew then the impact this inaction would have on wider society.

They, the media and people with all the power and control would have us believe I am a nothing and a nobody therefore it does not matter that my concerns were not taken seriously. However it gave the people making threats against me the green light to continue. They also targeted others.

Injustice has a domino effect. First they come for one and if there is no resistance they come back for the others. When Muhsin Ahmed lost his life to white supremacist terrorism, some parts of the UK did feel the pain and suffering his family were condemned to endure. I felt it, Tell Mama felt it. It quickly dissipated though, because Muhsin Ahmed was also considered a nothing, a nobody, by the majority of Britons who either didn’t know, or just didn’t care. More casualties of right wing terrorism followed, the severity of attacks escalated, the growing fear in minority communities went largely ignored. Nahid Almanea was murdered by a right wing terrorist simply for wearing Islamic dress, but watch the opponents of hjiab shrug off the notion that hate filled rhetoric leads to actual violence against minorities on the ground. So they hurt more people, then some more until yesterday when a ‘lone wolf’ assassinated a person no one could ignore; a serving British MP, a white woman, a treasured citizen in British society.

He yelled ‘Britain First’ as he launched a savage attack against Jo, a known advocate for community cohesiveness. Britain First, the white supremacist terrorist militia immediately denied any involvement in the attack, despite the fact they were specifically named and had also just conducted a knife training workshop for their terrorist members. Whether or not Mair was personally known to them (putting) Britain First is a core objective for hateful little British Nazis. He was at the very least influenced by this selfish notion, if not by the organisation then the headlines feeding the hate train, and manifestos like this, from the supposedly non racist Tory party.

The murder of Jo Cox, Labour MP for Batley and Spen should strike fear in all our hearts. The right wing terrorists have moved on to suffocating the moderates on ‘their own side’. White supremacists will target other white people, those they consider race traitors, because they are the people best placed to protect minorities. It’s supposed to serve as a warning to others. It only happened because the warning signs were not heeded and the fascist threat was allowed to flourish.

Brexit was not the cause of the attack on Jo Cox, it was merely a catalyst. The Thames boat debacle only added to the confusion. Brexit is the logical conclusion to years of kowtowing to the fascist right, when politicians allegedly left of centre were suddenly espousing right wing ideas. Racism never goes away, it is only controlled or allowed to thrive unchallenged. Journalists, on ‘The Left’ all the way to the unapologetic sadistic right are the only ones with the power to change discourse. They have the power to create a just and equal society instead they purposefully harness the hate bubbling under the surface and legitimise it. Racial slurs have no place in print. Fascist free speech does not trump the right to life for anyone deemed ‘other’. Denial of cause and effect leads only to more violence, more horror. Denial will mean more deaths.

We are, none of us, beyond hope

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I didn’t read the xojane article doing the rounds, I found myself reeling from the headline as I tried to process what the author, Amanda Lauren, was saying. “My former friend’s death was a blessing – some people are so sick, they are beyond help”.

It kind of speaks for itself, the author believes there are people who are a lost cause and they should die because it will make it easier for everyone else. She feels justified in saying this, reassured enough to publish her thoughts on a global platform. I am perturbed by people who make these controversial statements, unconcerned by how they might be perceived, either possessing the hide of a rhinoceros or else feel that public opinion will sway their way (another painful reminder of the growing inhumanity we’ve normalised against anyone considered ‘other’).

I have CPTSD, a condition I am stuck with for the rest of my life because it is as the name suggests, complex. I didn’t ask to be repeatedly put in harm’s way, with no chance of escape, it’s just the life I was born into. I have explored in great detail the reasons I broke down, so that I can understand it was not my fault (when you’re mental you’re convinced you deserve it) and so that I could hope for a better future, one where I can have a fulfilling life, where I won’t be immediately at risk of a violent death.

My efforts to at least appear normal for the sake of ordinary people exhaust me, as anyone who suffers from a condition which impacts on their day to day dealings will tell you; how to not only stay alive, but to live well, to be fun and interesting and relevant. There can be no stone left unturned, no door chained and bolted in the recesses of my fragile mind, triggers must be neutralised as they arise. I frequently say things that make other people uncomfortable. I don’t do it intentionally, it’s just my experience of the world is so far removed from the norm, I come across somewhat intense and affected. When people try to cover things up, or downplay the truth, I consider that to be gaslighting because it messes with my sense of reality. When I told the truth as a child I was disbelieved and punished.

My childhood was violent, my teens isolated, my 20s split entirely from reality. Amanda Lauren would probably say my life wasn’t worth living. I believed that too, until just a year or two ago, when I suddenly remembered who I was before I became unhinged, a state I found myself in through no fault of my own. I remembered the things I was good at, the hopes I had as a pre teen, for university and beyond. This brought with it confidence and self esteem, qualities I’d mislaid following my failings as an adult in a cishet white supremacist patriarchy. When I think back to the lowest period of my life, the monotony of anhedonia and how utterly convinced I was that my time on this earth was rapidly coming to an end it frightens me to think people like Amanda believe in the legitimacy of their own bigotry.

I never thought I’d have the confidence to write my own blog, or weather a twitter storm. I didn’t dare dream of friends and lovers who hear me, even when there are no words. Even when I was a bordering on psychotic, withdrawing from SSRIs, they kept me supplied with valium and kitten pics. That’s what friends do, Amanda, they love you despite your flaws. They understand there is nothing inherently wrong with you, that you’re a product of an unjust society and that to feel depressed or disconnected from the world is a sign you’re actually (most likely) a decent sort. I don’t reject the mental ones, I welcome them with open arms, as they have me. I want to offer Amanda’s ex friend my condolences and wish for her to rest in peace. I am sorry you were stuck with people who didn’t deserve you.

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.” Be wary of those who pretend they haven’t a care in the world, more so the ones who genuinely don’t.

‘Confronting’ random women is called street harassment

All too often I use this blog to rage about all the bastards in the world but today I’m going to engage in some unprecedented activity (like the badass ex Muslim I am) and actually thank some of you for doing your human duty. If I’d had you Twitter treasures on the bus that time I was racially abused I’d probably still feel ok to go out on my own. On that occasion 50 odd people chose to laugh at my pleas for help. They fell on the side of the racist who’d just called me a Paki bitch for ignoring his sexual harassment. The packed top deck of a London bus, in Kilburn, a multicultural area, at 3am, and not one person thought it unacceptable I’d been targeted for racist and sexist harassment. Even the other poc on the bus looked away, a black man shook his head and looked at his feet. Luckily my white best friend was there to slap the offender and stand in his way so he couldn’t actually physically reach me.

doyle

When Matthew Doyle tweeted this, whatever his intentions, he had assumed solidarity from Twitter. The majority of people I follow were still reeling from #StopIslam which was trending in the UK yesterday following the Brussels attacks but it was trending for a reason, a significant number of my fellow citizens/twitterers are in fact white supremacists, even if they do not think of themselves as racist. With this in mind, Doyle tweeted his encounter with a random Muslim woman on the street in which he demanded an explanation for Brussels. What he wasn’t expecting was for common sense to prevail and for people to afford that woman the humanity and dignity each and every single one of us deserves; the right to exist free from harm and collective punishment.

On seeing that tweet my heart fell, my initial reaction isn’t anger as you might expect of me. I ALWAYS feel toxic shame first, a latent trickle of self hate and abject fear, I feel intensely vulnerable, then apprehensive because I was still unsure of how Twitter would react. How many times have we said x is racist only for the fair, well meaning apologists to deny/erase our perspectives? On this occasion though, I felt buoyed by the outright repulsion for this man and his bigoted actions.

Thank you friends, allies, comrades for showing me that there are some of us at least who took on board what it is to be human, that we can be outraged on the behalf of a woman none of us personally know, who might not even exist, because whether she does or not it’s the absolute right thing to do, especially when many more suffer incidents like this in their day to day dealings with the Great British public. Every. Single. Day. Every time there is a terror attack the media reporting provokes/incites a wave of increasingly violent attacks on women like me, because white men like Doyle are too cowardly to pick on someone their own size. He calls himself a feminist and I guess he can; telling Muslim women what to wear *is* the white feminist’s modus operandi, I just wish they’d stop pretending they see us as equals.

On a final note it is worth mentioning that there were still some people on ‘our side’ who thought that tweet wasn’t real or else intended to be a ‘joke’ or *insert well meaning excuse here* just not what we as people of colour say it is. Nice middle class white people, why do you still refuse to listen? People have been murdered in this country for being brown or ‘looking Muslim’ these past few years and still you think we’re just making it up, or overreacting? You cannot tackle a problem until you call it what it is. Doyle tweeted it in all seriousness then backtracked when he realised people were upset but changed his mind again, perhaps galvanised by incoming tweets of racist solidarity.

When you deny the experiences of the people living it, it only gets worse.