There is something scarily hilarious about men telling women how to do feminism. For centuries, they have dictated how we live and interact, making the important decisions because our delicate female brains couldn’t possibly handle them. They have dressed us how they’d like us, from burqas in the east to miniskirts and stilettos in the west, most of what we wear is catered to the local man’s tastes. They have managed to convince some women in the world that the only way to prevent sexual attack is to become indistinguishable from the next woman; save only for their eyes, which must not be enhanced in any way, make up is strictly forbidden. If the veil slips a little, Mohammed Bloggs can whip you in broad daylight and some will even be subjected to a virginity test. If her vagina is so sacred, why are strange people touching it without her express consent?
We live in a society where most people cannot believe that their friend is capable of domestic abuse. In my work as a DV worker, I came across a variety of perps, from all walks of life. Yes, there were alcoholics and drug abusers, prolific perpetrators, but then there were also senior psychiatric nurses, housing officers, famous musicians and comedians and sexual deviants with day jobs in Parliament. The world idolises misogynists, from Hunter S Thompson and Bret Easton Ellis to Roman Polanski and Woody Allen, privilege buys them immunity from laws we fought hard for to protect womankind. Their anger and vitriol against women makes them interesting to men who feel the same way. We live in a man’s world and what he says goes. “Oh but he’s so talented and so witty.” Like Frankie Boyle? Why do people laugh at depravity? What is funny about a disabled child trying to rape his mother?
Ellis told the Guardian “If you’re writing about a misogynist, does that then make a book misogynist? I don’t think I’m a misogynist. But even if I was, so what? So you’re a misogynist – so what? So you’re a homophobe, or a racist – so what? Does that make your art less interesting? I don’t think so. Call me a misogynist. I think basically most men are misogynistic. And it is what it is.”
Hm. So it doesn’t matter that it is damaging to women, just that people should find it interesting. Who cares if a few women get hacked or young girls get sodomised and then denied justice because Switzerland is happy about harbouring child rapists? Polanski pleaded guilty to ‘having sex with a 13 year old’, he served 42 days of his sentence but scarpered before they could hold him any longer. Rape apologists think of him as poor Polanski, some explain away his raping of a minor as a delayed reaction to the murder of his pregnant wife. Having experienced unwanted and illegal male attention aged 10, 15 and then between 17 and 21, I can’t say it has inspired me to sexually assault the male of the species.
They tell us our brand of feminism won’t work. “Feminism and bitterness do not make good bedfellows”. Being the most optimistic person I know, I can’t say I am bitter about life. About misogyny, yes. If there was a reduction in misogyny, this would also affect the level of bitterness I feel. I was called bitter for calling a perp, a perp. If a man ever thumps someone, whatever their justification, he is a perp. If he refuses to clean or pesters for money/sex, he is a perp. If he plays women against each other “just be grateful, you’re the one who won me!” He is a perp. If he sleeps around and denies it as though butter wouldn’t melt, he is a perp. If he calls you a slag, a slut, a whore, a cunt, he is a perp. If he refuses to have himself tested for sexually transmitted diseases, he is a perp. If he encourages you to take drugs, he is a perp. If he ever says “but I would never hit a woman”, you can be pretty sure he probably has. If he keeps company with wife beaters and womanisers, he is a perp. By condoning such behaviour, he is in agreement that sometimes it is justified. Violence against women is never ok. Decent men will always walk away.
They feel it’s their place to educate you, true misogynists really believe in their superiority.
“How do you ever expect to learn anything? Just a thought.”
Erm, I’m a reader? I study the world news on a daily basis. I keep my ear to the ground for local news. My 30 years of life feels like twice that amount, a lot has happened in a very short space of time, for me. But apparently what I really need is for a man to teach me the real truth. I imagine the average man believes me to be a Birkenstock wearing lesbian wanting to smash all men instead of patriarchy. “I just hope you get passed your hatred of men one day.”
I will never stop hating dominating, perpetrating, raping, sliming, sleazing, lying, womanising miscreants EVER.
If I were a man, I would not have strange men clamouring to educate me. If I were a man, I’d be accused of being a lily livered pussy, whipped by man-haters.com into letting men down by acknowledging the abuse and injustice women must face.
Controlling men control women, but they also control men too.