Fem Bloc needs YOU

Fems, gather round. We’re growing and we need to realise this.

This comes as no surprise when we consider the world around us right now. Rape, child abuse, rape culture, domestic abuse, ableism, transmisogyny, racism, classism; these methods of control are contaminating the lives of more women and children then we ever believed before. We’re focused on them though; we’re beginning to use the right labels. We know we are not alone.

Oppression has a way of seeking a scapegoat. We’re reminded all the time of how appalling those other people are with their women. But we know this is not the whole truth. The statistics tell us that 1 in 4 British women will experience rape or sexual assault in their lives. I’ve worked with and befriended 100s of women, spoken to women about the women in their lives and we have come to the grave realisation; more than half of our sisters have experienced unwanted sexual attention. Projects like Everyday Sexism only confirm what we already know. But we cannot forget those who do not speak about their violations because of slut shaming and guilt. And what of those who do not understand their own bodily autonomy and believe they are there to be used? Bodily autonomy for women is not the norm, it is the exception.

Haven’t you had enough? I have. Don’t you wanna smash kyriarchy in? I do.

Will you join us and help our intersectional feminism grow?

Fem bloc needs you. This wave of oppression is intolerable; every single rape is a trigger for us all. We’ve tried talking to them but they haven’t listened; the dominator has minimised our experiences, and told us how to feel. Fems, aren’t you angry?

This February 14^th, a billion women will rise from all the corners of our earth. 1 in 3 of our sisters across the world will experience domestic/sexual violence in her lifetime.

“One billion women violated is an atrocity. One billion women dancing is a revolution”.

http://www.onebillionrising.org/

Visit the website and see whether there is an event near you. Alternatively, if we have enough members for fem bloc, we can start our own event.

Fem bloc is intersectional. We are working to make activist spaces safer for all self-identifying women. We have a right to protest and change our society without fear of attack. For many on the left, socialism is a movement dominated by men and it is simply unacceptable that these self-proclaimed messiahs are able to use their activist spaces to control all women through intimidation and sexual attack. Fem bloc hopes to address this and safer spaces travel with us, wherever we might be. One Billion of us will rise and from there, we keep on marching. Every march, every protest, every rally, it is nothing without a feminist presence. We want to eliminate oppression in all its forms; any other way just won’t work. Intersectional feminism will succeed where other movements have failed. Because it is inclusive.

Mark International Women’s Day in your diaries. Let’s protest against ALL OF PATRIARCHY. White men, black men, brown men and all the other shades that don’t get as much of a mention. Men who rape, intimidate, control and abuse. Perverts, paedophiles, sociopaths from every race, colour and creed. Bosses and big brothers, accidental sperm donors and the menz in parliament especially.

The struggle continues but it gets easier the bigger we get. Let’s take Safer Spaces Solidarity from our virtual safe space online and make it a reality for all women.

(Email saferspacessolidarity@gmail.com if you would like to become a member of Fem Bloc)

All Women Are Liars

“Domestic violence advocates falsely claim that 95 percent of the victims are women when in fact, these women are more likely to lie about this because they are paid to do so.”

So says Edward Nunes writing for the Times Herald in California.  No citation to back up the claim, just “from personal experience, I know that women are far more likely to lie about abuse because they are rarely prosecuted.” Personal experience… How does this justify the publication of an inflammatory article full of serious perp-like overtones? Rarely prosecuted in relation to what, domestic abuse? Could it possibly be because most perpetrators of harm are in fact male?

As an advocate, I find his statement abhorrent and patently untrue. We live in the kind of world where men are freely allowed to make things up and present as fact. Did the paper’s legal team even read the piece? As a woman, if I wrote “Most men use their privileges under patriarchy and believe it is their right to beat on women”, there’d be uproar at such a sweeping generalisation. If I then backed this up with, “men have been beating me up my whole life so it’s true” I’d be laughed out by my editor.

Women the world over are not reporting their rapes and assaults because they fear they will not be believed. Is it any wonder when men have the freedom to smear those trying to combat violence? In all my time as an advocate, I did not come across ONE survivor who I felt might be embellishing her story for effect. It was not my place to judge but it was my job to identify abuse. Many engage with services because they want a solution to their problems; for some this will mean reporting to the authorities but for many others they would like for it to remain private, maybe seek an intervention programme.

When Nunes makes the assertion that 95% of DV victims are women, we need to remember the word domestic. It implies violence within the home. Domestic violence is where one person lives in fear of an attack, where more often than not, the male partner seeks control of the relationship. We call this ‘patriarchal terrorism’. Where there is violence from both parties, this is termed ‘common couples violence’. Domestic violence statistics tally with the former. He also conveniently fails to mention the difference in dynamic of male perpetrated crime as opposed to female. Women are highly likely to experience a further incident of abuse after leaving a violent relationship. This is because they are considered to be ‘property’ and cannot leave without the ‘owner’s’ permission. Nunes couldn’t be more wrong and dangerous as a result.

In recent weeks, especially with the passing of International Women’s Day, I have experienced a sudden surge in abuse from men I have never met before. It started with a random attack from a follower on Twitter who decided I would bear his wrath because he could not access his children. There has been provocative discourse around rape and when it is and isn’t the man’s fault. I’ve been asked to pipe down and been accused of being disingenuous. All because I am female and speak up about women’s issues.

And apparently, I’m also a liar. I’ve lied about the hundreds of women I have had to support in my work, finding shelter for them, changing their identities; all lies apparently. Being beaten by my father, my brother, my uncles; those are all lies too if you believe Nunes. I DID hit my father once, square between the legs. He didn’t report to the police, no doubt because they (patriarchy) would have laughed in his face. If men are not reporting abuse, or the numbers are not reflective of people’s personal experiences, I would hazard a guess it has more to do with other men’s expectations of men than professionals who get their funding from the government* on some hysterical mission to rid the planet of men. Patriarchy doesn’t just hurt women, it hurts men too.

Whenever the global voice of woman takes a tentative step forwards, for example #ididnotreport, it provokes a backlash from those who do not believe in equal rights for women. In the words of Dennis Waterman: “The problem with strong, intelligent women is that they can argue, well. And if there is a time where you can’t get a word in … and I … I lashed out. I couldn’t end the argument.” So perpetrators resort to violence and blatant lies. Because they can. Male privilege has a lot to answer for.

“What has made women unhappy in the last decade is not their equality which they don’t yet have – but the rising pressure to halt, and even reverse, women’s quest for that equality”. (Backlash – The Undeclared War Against Women, Susan Faludi)

*Governments audit. You cannot just make up statistics as you see fit

http://www.timesheraldonline.com/opinion/ci_20229819/domestic-violence-advocates-are-biased-against-men

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2117453/Dennis-Waterman-admits-I-punched-ex-wife-Rula-Lenska.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

I’m Every Woman

On the eve of International Women’s Day 2012 I was called a slag, a cunt and a whore. My crime? “banging on about womens rights n nhs what about us fathers oh yeah we dont matter” (sic) A timely reminder for why we need such a day in the first place. Of the 365 days of the year, today we can shout about the injustice billions of women face in their daily lives. The abuse 1 in 4 women will suffer. The 2 women a week that are murdered by their abusive partners. The never ending struggle to be recognised as equals, not above or beneath but standing together.

We’re not equal. We’re far from it. As a British woman of South Asian descent, I often hear how lucky I was to be born in the West. From people of the same background for sure, but white people point it out too. I don’t have to cover myself up (much), I have access to an education and my partner won’t chop off my the tip of my nose for getting the tea wrong. I should be grateful. Except I don’t feel it so much anymore. Our most feminist politicians (ever) are sending out a message that woman is a giggling schoolgirl, one to be jeered at and dismissed. She is incapable of taking control of her own body, her mental state is too fragile. They’ve put out a direct hit on women and their interests; cuts to the public sector resulting in job losses, withdrawing vital funds from women’s services. They have introduced a law which tells you whether you are involved with a perpetrator of domestic abuse but should you need to escape, you’ll have nowhere to go.

There are parts of the world in which men can have four wives. Somehow this is more repugnant than being with one wife but sleeping around. In some parts of the world they use rape to control ‘their’ women. In the UK, we just joke about doing it instead. The word slag is still commonly used. And slut, whore, bitch and cunt. And cougar and MILF. Women, they nag. They use their feminine wiles. They sleep around, they get you under the thumb. Sometimes, they even deserve a good slap.

Why does a man have to point out he would never hit a woman?

When 1 in 5 young men and 1 in 10 women think violence against women is acceptable, has the world really changed much at all?

Attitudes may have started to shift. Public displays of violence/abuse are not the norm so much. There has been a reduction in violence because we have had services like Refuge reminding the world it is not acceptable. So, some of it may have gone underground. Except it’s resurfacing now, from the top down. Emotional and mental abuse, toxic shaming, is thriving.

I haven’t felt as strongly about International Women’s Day as I do today. Learning that the UK did not even make the top ten for many of the awards in the Independent’s best and worst places to be a woman has a lot to do with it. And of course, the threatened closure of Refuge. I’m reminded of the judge who called an 11 year old girl “willing” at her rape trial.

I’m of the opinion the West is equally damaging to the physical and emotional well-being of woman.

Their methods may differ but their inherent need to own and control women is the same.

*Happy International Women’s Day*